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It’s Independence Day, but how independent are you really? How free are you to take off without baggage, limitation, hesitation, worry, trepidation or fear of man’s approval? It’s funny how we celebrate these holidays with specific themes, yet we ignore the practical application as it relates to our own ascent and acceleration in life. How many people hook up with people that limit their freedom? How many of you are trying to travel with people who make it difficult for you to take off? These people in your life seem to almost always be in a “place” that keeps you from moving forward and then you’ve made their issues your justification as to why you can never go anywhere great in life! It’s my family! My spouse! It’s my friends. It’s my job. I can’t seem get my life off the ground!

Relationships are complicated but isn’t it our choice to connect with people who limit our elevation and take off in life or not? Have you made serious commitments to people who stifle your movement on this flight called life? Why would you do that? Are you dummying down how far you dream of going to make miserable people in your life happy? That’s a sure way to end up bitter and resentful. To have to say one day that you gave up your hopes and dreams for “love” seems like a bad deal? If you asked me it sounds like a major contradiction to what love is. See, if you were really with someone who loved you properly, you’d be free to spread your wings and go somewhere amazing! People who scare you into dreaming small and changing your big plans to little comfortable safe plans they like are loving you to death! Literally! It’s possible to give your life to people who will unapologetically take away your independence to the point of killing your hopes and dreams. You could literally be throwing your future away and actually believe the person who’s convincing you into doing this loves you. The reality is, they only love themselves! It’s selfish! To connect with a dreamer and then after they develop genuine love for you, blackmail them into forgetting their dreams! Forget my dreams to say I have you?!!! Nah! That’s not a good deal at all!

I’m not telling you to break up with your spouse or cut off everyone who’s spoken sound wisdom to you about your plans either. You actually need sober people in your life. People who will tell you from a pure hearted place what you need to hear. Not jealous critical Debbie downers, but people who genuinely are happy for your success. Keep them close. They’re vital to you getting to your destination! What I advise my coachable friends to do today, on this Fourth of July is simple – claim your independence! Claim your independence to soar and take off when it comes to the life you want! Take everything you believe you are equipped to do off the shelf. Especially the plans you gave up on because you let small minded people laugh at your ideas and plans. Claim your confidence in yourself and surround yourself with other people who genuinely love you and want to see you get there. Claim your independence from people who never had the guts to do what you’re about to do. Claim your independence from people who live their lives in fear and suspicion of everything. Claim your independence from the insecure and unsure. Don’t take counsel from people who have mental problems and I’m not trying to be funny at all. I take mental health seriously and take note of those who mock those who are trying their best to heal from emotional and mental trauma. You will have to claim your independence on this journey from the mean spirited and critical voices. Those who want you to be something other than your authentic self, take your need for their approval away from them. Don’t allow them to get in your head. People who label you because they don’t know who they are. I’ve had people call me ratchet, ghetto, too much, stuck up, goodie two shoes, crazy,… WHO CARES! Most of the people trying to label you don’t have their identity in tact themselves. Get your life and ignore the critics. Stop allowing manically depressed family and friends to speak their own issues, anxiety and trauma into your life. Claim your independence of anything and anyone that’s holding you back, even your own negative self talk. Stop blaming everyone in your life for your problems. You have the power to move beyond whatever’s taken place in the past. The past is the past and the future belongs to you! Take off! Go off! Get up! Stop explaining yourself and defending your every move to everyone. Don’t allow the dumb desires of people in your life to keep you from living a free life. Don’t let people guilt you into spending more money than you have on nonsense meant to impress people who still won’t like you. Don’t do it. Say no and move on. They will try to make you feel responsible for funding things that boost their ego and if you’re weak and gullible enough to bow down to them, they will still think you didn’t do enough. The same ungrateful people will be off living their lives while you’re holding the bag and they will go spend their money on whatever they choose. Your credit and finances will be jacked up and they will be somewhere living the fabulous life. Compliments of your cowardice. Nah fam! Help people as much as you can afford to lose. They need to become independent at the end of the day. As much as you want to support them and help them, there is such thing as helping people become losers. You can help people take advantage of your kindness. You can help people become dependent on you for things they need to be taking care of! Claim your independence today! It’s going to change your life when you stop taking responsibility for things that aren’t your problem. I’m excited for you!

Make a solid list of the things you are currently responsible for. Then go through that list and see what’s really yours and what you need to give to it’s rightful owner.

Your life and financial situation is going to change. Mentally and emotionally and spiritually you won’t be drained anymore when you claim your independence. Your life is not theirs. Their life is not yours. Watch! You will begin to see a drastic change when you release those things you have been carrying that really belong to someone else! It’s not your job to manage the emotional well being of another person. If you’re being tormented by someone’s roller coaster mood swings and attitudes, free yourself from that kind of abuse. Yep I said it, it’s abuse and not love. Love is patient. Love is kind,…That’s Bible! Stop taking on the baggage of people who don’t honor who you are. Get free. Today is Independence Day on the calendar but everyday should be.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #people #mindset #independence #independenceday #fourthofjuly #fireworks #soar #destination #blog #blogger

Shady people are not well. Seems like it’s becoming commonplace in our culture for people to use the wrong words to define how they feel. It’s so confusing! Bad means good? Killing it means you’re doing well? No wonder no one is really in touch with themselves spiritually, emotionally or mentally. Trying to process what people really mean has everyone in a place where no one understands what the next person is even saying. It’s scary because nothing seems to be what it is anymore, at least not in a genuine way. This is the problem with being shady. Because of this, It’s hard to decipher who’s being fake or who’s being honest.

See, a lot of women have close friends who you’re comfortable with them calling you bitches and ho’s and wonder why these friendships are full of competition and rivalry. The average man out here, you have become used to calling your male friends your “dogs” or your “boys” and then you wonder why none of them ever act like responsible fathers, husbands, leaders and business men. Think about what we are calling people and how much it’s not in alignment with what they should be? Even when it comes to your intimate relationships; men are you actually okay with the woman in your life calling you her nigga? You like being called her boyfriend at your age? Boy is a white racist word and it’s not applicable if you’re grown. It’s baffling that we are okay with certain people calling us names we wouldn’t be okay with others calling us. It’s actually insane to say the closer people are to us, the more right they have to dishonor and disrespect us. We call people sis, bro, cuz, fam to their face and never support or rally around them to add some substance to the words and titles we so carelessly throw around. Now that’s shady!

No wonder we aren’t able to really communicate and talk to one another. We have obviously created a superficial system of expressing ourselves that’s not authentic or sincere. On top of all of that, can we address the fact that it’s not conducive for any of us to take off and ascend in life and head into our destiny and purpose being shady. How do we expect to go to the next level if we are consistently calling things by the wrong name? We are suffering and going through the worst times in our lives and PTSD has us saying things like “I’m just having fun!” Dealing with a bunch of drama and disgusting people? You call that fun? You call stress, drama, negativity and confusion fun? No wonder you’re so conflicted in this season of your life. Your spirit doesn’t know how to process the shade. You’re actually misleading your spirit by saying the words that you speak.

This is why I have a problem with the whole sarcastic shady way people talk not only to one another but to themselves. Laughing and putting yourself down is not okay. Saying derogatory statements about your hair, weight, complexion, intellect,…Stop being shady to yourself and the people around you. For too long people have been bullied in their own families. No need to go anywhere else and have to toughen up to deal with hateful, mean spirited people. Many of the people I coach are healing from friendly fire. They’ve been mentally and emotionally put down in places they should have been safe and secure. Sadly, a lot of you have heard fat jokes, snide remarks about your appearance and the choices you wanted to make from the people who should have been affirming you and building you up. This shady stuff has got to stop. You are not ugly. You are not hopeless. You are not stupid. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I’m heartbroken to see so many people who have had their spirits crushed by the shady words of those they should have been able to receive validation and encouragement from. Shady has now become a term that we use casually and it’s regrettably become a term people say that’s about someone that’s supposed to be a compliment I guess for those with a mean crooked sense of humor. Some people matter of factly run around and call people in their circle shady like it’s a term of endearment. That’s not cute or cool if you asked me. Shady comments are offensive! Shady people are really some of the most disingenuous people I’ve ever encountered. Do you really like my outfit or are you being shady again? Are you really happy to see me or are you going to turn around and make a shady comment about me when I walk away? It’s too much work being around these kind of jerks.

My experience with a really shady lady:

I am almost 50 years old and I am proud to be a playwright. My stage plays have opened a lot of doors for me and this gift has empowered me to help open doors for a lot of creative people over the years. I say that in all humility. This creative gift has been a source of financial increase in my life and the lives of those who worked with me on my productions. Am I Tyler Perry? Nope! Have I had lots of shady comments involving him made to me about what I do? Yep! At the end of the day, I am seriously unbothered. The day of the play I did last year, I was at an event and when I was leaving I had a woman at least 8 years my senior yell out loud in a very condescending and shady tone “Oh you got a show today don’t you?! Oh that’s right! I forgot you’re Spike Lee!” The evil laugh that followed that comment was the icing on the cake, but it was also the nail in the coffin so to say for me and my ability to stomach this poor soul. I came to the conclusion that no matter how genuine and kind I tried to be with this lady, she was proud to be shady. It was in her bones. In other words, her style of communication with me wasn’t going to work, ever!

A word to the wise for all my coachable friends – don’t let shady people with a twisted sense of humor get in your head and bully you with their evil mindset, laughter and meanness. My mother told me when I was a little girl “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Would have said that to this lady, but I don’t waste words on shady people. I quickly waved goodbye to this childish lady and the rest of the shady bunch she was sitting with. That’s when it dawned on me, as old as she is; she’s probably never going to change.

Unless she gets a new circle, or comes into some circumstance that alters her perspective, she’s going to stay the same shady person forever. Thankfully, we are going to new levels around here. We’re not allowing the shady ones to distract us and waste our time and energy. Those who are connected to us are doing daily checks within to see how we can take off. We are not offended by the truth! We are aware of what we need to work on and being shady is absolutely not in our character! We are too authentic to be fake and phony. We are on the path to whatever it takes to become better. Take some time and evaluate your mentality. Make a commitment to only communicate with a pure heart. If you don’t want someone to say something that shades you, don’t say it to them. There’s this elementary principle we learned when we first started off. It’s called the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you.” That’s easy unless you’re so shady you can’t survive without being critical and mean spirited. It’s so awesome to see people mastering stuff like kindness and sincerity. People who have to be shady to make their point need to get closer to my real life coachable friends. We can help them if they want to be better. Iron sharpens iron. Get you some friends that help you communicate like a person who’s really going somewhere great!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #flight #shady #mean #mentality #mindset #people #growth #destination #communication #blogger #blog #playwright #tylerperry #spikelee

The older I get the harder it is for me to stomach shallow people.

Shallow: someone who doesn’t have any depth to them.

I can’t stand trying to carry on conversations with people who lack depth or those who stay pretending to be something they aren’t. This lady was having a pleasant conversation with me when all of a sudden someone who knew me walked up and addressed me in a way that she didn’t have knowledge of. Well all of a sudden the conversation got weird. The once very laid back and normal woman started trying to impress me and to be honest, I preferred talking to her before she went into performance mode. Everything she was doing was so unnecessary and draining.

Made me wonder how many people never take off in life or relationships because they’re too busy trying to impress and not being authentic. I sat down for a moment and felt sad for shallow people wondering how hard it must be to live your entire life trying to make the wrong people like you. Sadly, there are some individuals with warped mentalities on this flight called life who invest their all into everyone except the people they should. It’s disturbing how some people only respect people who they have to brown nose and suck up to. Then they have a group of people who genuinely love them and support them and they treat them like crap. It’s got to be some kind of mental illness. I know people who spend lots of money to impress people who don’t even care about them. While at the same time, the people who have had their back in ways that can’t be articulated don’t receive any recognition or honor. The mentality of those who are coachable and going places has got to be better than that! Can I get an amen?! You can’t actually expect your life to take off when you haven’t learned that age old principle – “Charity begins at home.”

I’m not saying anyone is entitled to your money or time. I’m not trying to tell you what to do with anything you earn. But there should be a self governing system from within called INTEGRITY that regulates how you handle those who have looked out for you. There’s something wrong with people who work hard to impress “important” people and sit back and act as if the real important ones in their lives that have struggled with them and been there for them in the past don’t deserve something of substance beyond your thank you’s and private praise. Tell the world!!! Let everyone know how grateful you are. My daughter Dee asked a group of us what’s your love language and Danielle said mine is cash app! Ha! It’s funny but it’s true. No one wants your naked cards when you out here living like a baller. That’s fake love! Old folk used to say “Give me my flowers while I can smell them!” It’s not cool at all to say all these poetic words to people who have been there for you in a tangible way. Give them something of substance if they’ve done that for you. The harsh reality is, what goes around comes back around. That’s everything including the good and the bad.

There’s another saying that goes “No one ever got poor giving!” I believe it’s true. Giving is about taking what’s in your hands and releasing it to serve someone or something else. It requires the right kind of heart. Unfortunately, many don’t have the capability, conscience or capacity to make these concepts a part of their daily life. So they acquire stuff and justify being selfish and hoarding all their favor. The only time they give is when it furthers their own personal agenda or ego. That’s so unfortunate. If it makes them look important or successful that’s when they give. If it helps them get closer to someone they consider valuable, then they go all out. But most of the time, they hold onto it all only giving when what they give out benefits or promotes them. These shallow people never stop to think, maybe I should think about more than just myself. Maybe I should be thinking about more than what kind of outfit I’m going to buy or meal I’m going to order. In a ME focused world, it’s no wonder so many people are so mad and frustrated and stressed out.

You will never feel like you’re being purposeful as long as you only think of yourself!!! There I said it! It’s nothing but the truth. My 16 year old is in Israel and one of the teens from the village they’re staying in loves the same KPOP group my daughter loves, BTS. My daughter gave the young Israeli girl her personal BTS album and when she did; she said the girl was so grateful she broke out in tears. She said she was so overwhelmed and happy to receive the album. She told my daughter she was so grateful and had long wished for this let alone to be able to attend a BTS concert like my daughter who’s been every year for the past 3 years. After this experience my daughter said she felt so blessed. Giving actually made her feel better than the one who received. You mean to tell me when someone gives away something they love they can actually feel happier than they did when they had it? Yep!!! That’s the power of giving. Giving took my daughter to a new level today. I know how she felt. To release something to someone and see their reaction. It’s a sure way to soar!

Maybe you should try it. Become a giver because the only other option is to be a taker; and while takers eat well, givers sleep well. The cheapest most stingy people I know don’t have a lot of peace. They’re always stressed about their finances and how they’re going to do everything they need to do. See, they haven’t come to a level of consciousness to know that the way we are wired is to help, serve, be generous and give. Anyone living their lives looking to be blessed has to master being a blessing first. The perspective of givers is a lot different than takers. Takers have to figure it all out. They need to see it all add up, simply because their trust is in themselves. They think it’s all about them. They only look to self for their sufficiency. The giver on the other hand lives a life in service to others. Those who are committed to serving others are celebrated everyday, everywhere they go. Ask me how I know, that’s the way my life is lived. I am not rich YET! But I’m blessed. I’m blessed because I live my life seeking out ways to help and serve others, with NO HIDDEN MOTIVE OR AGENDA! So the givers on this flight called life don’t have to throw their own parties. People gladly celebrate them. The givers don’t go into debt doing anything! If you serve this place you live, this place will serve you.

Givers know that. They also know they’re going places and this trip is an all expense paid one! My daughter is on a trip she didn’t pay a dime for. With that in mind, she’s looking for ways to give back. The same is true with this life journey we are on. It’s a privilege to be here. So give back. Don’t be stingy and selfish. Look for ways to bless people, especially those who have been good to you. Nothing you give to someone should be empty. Everything you give to others should have substance in it and to it. Shallow people don’t have a problem giving out empty stuff. People of substance give with purpose. It’s not just to go through the motions and look good on the surface. What kind of traveler are you? Giver or Taker?

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flight #flying #givers #takers #takeoff #mentality #shallow #shallowness #people #substance #empty #bts #cashapp #jewel #justdanielle

One thing about following people and copying everything they do is that you will always be at least one step behind them. While none of us are completely original, meaning all of us are inspired by someone on this flight called life. There are some people with integrity on this journey with you who legitimately don’t have a problem acknowledging that you inspire them versus those who sneakily try to impersonate you and what you do and then act as if they don’t know what they’re doing is wrong. Disgusting creative crooks!

Sadly, some people are nothing more than copy cats and think they’re going to take off stealing your ideas and insight. Nope! The most offensive part about these fraudulent clones is they will never give you the credit and admit that you inspire them. That’s what makes it so irritating and disrespectful. On this flight called life, if you have some kind of special anointing, and we all do; you will come across those people who secretly watch you and stay close to you so they can almost use you as their personal muse.

For many of us, we can become afraid to share our plans and project details with anyone because there’s always some creative creep out there who can’t come up with anything on their own. My advice for you is copyright your stuff. Keep making whatever you make. Don’t stop producing and creating in spite of the wanna be’s. Don’t become bitter, just keep getting better. At the end of the day, people see! People know! No one is dumb and they can all put two and two together. Those observing know the difference between the original and the imitation. When it’s all said and done, everyone will know who’s authentic and who’s a fake. Continue to soar! Stay above the pettiness and the low level mentality of those who don’t take the time to study their craft for themselves. While they’re trying to be you, it’s effortless for you because you are you!!!! No one can ever steal the uniqueness of your message. They can copy your music, writing, play, book, message, style, but they can never be you!!!

If no one tells you that you inspire them, remember that many of the greats never got public praise until they were gone too. I know it’s sobering, but work on your craft for your children and your children’s children. This stuff you’re creating is part of your legacy. Be ok with that. That your work will be around long after you leave here and you will still be inspiring people when you’re gone!!

Maybe the real moral to the story is, your creativity is not meant for you to be applauded after all. Isn’t it the applause that makes people cocky and arrogant anyway? The reality for creatives as far as I’m concerned is, we can’t take credit for the unexplainable magic we create anyway. It comes from a source that’s bigger than us. Be honest! You know that’s not you. That’s a special gift that you can’t actually take credit for. So why worry about taking credit for something we were only favored to be able to produce!

I know it’s annoying when people steal your ideas, but keep creating. At the end of the day, they can’t steal your brilliance! Keep ascending. Don’t let the creative bandits take you off course. You’re going somewhere great!!!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #creatives #copycats #mindset #mentality #thieves #ideas #destination

Even though I’m always talking about going places and that is the theme of my blog, I don’t wish to go just anywhere. See, even though I am extremely passionate about travel and getting to the next destination; I am not passionate about going just any ole place!

I have learned to be detailed about where I want to go, who I want to go with, my expectations when I get there, and this specificity has increased the quality of my journey on this flight called life. Leaving my days, weeks, years, life up in the air is no longer an option for me. I’m middle aged now. I don’t have time to waste anymore, so even my prayers are spelled out and very thorough. That’s what I mean when I say I’m not going just anywhere anymore. Even some conversations; I’m not going there but that’s a whole different blog. The point is, I’m very aware that I need to be clear about where I spend my time and energy. And while I do trust God to lead me places and do things for me that even my mind can’t conceive; I realize that I still have a say over my life and how far I’m willing to go.

I’m wired in such a way that the things that bring me joy and happiness may not be your preference. My idea of fun is not necessarily yours. There are climates I enjoy more than others. There are cultures I clash with and others that I feel welcomed and ready to explore. It’s really okay to say I don’t want to go there. Some of you needed to hear that today. It’s really okay. Some places are not ready for you. This made me think about some of the places we went as children. We didn’t have a say about where we went. If our parents said we were going there, that’s where we went. If we would be honest, some of those trips would have never happened and if we could have declined going there we would have. My mom and dad grew up in the era where racism was very much alive and not as masked as it is now. He and my mom would take us for VACATION sometimes to places where we would be the only people of color there. I remember times where the entire pool would empty out when my brothers and I would get in. My dad would very nonchalantly see the hurt in our faces and respond by saying, ” Now you have the whole pool to yourself! Have fun guys!”

It’s funny now when I relive those moments, but as a young African American kid, it was not a good feeling to know you were somewhere and the people there didn’t want you around. Now fast forward to today! 2019 is actually not so different. Only now, people smile in your face and roll their eyes when you walk away because they don’t want you in their community, restaurant or business and sometimes this has nothing to do with your race, gender or religion. It boils down to an energy you feel. You know when you belong and when you’re going places where people make you feel like you’re supposed to be there or not. I know there are those who believe that in this day and time things are so different and yes, maybe we have made some strides, and I hate to get on my Martin Luther King, Malcolm X kick; but for those with brown faces like mine, it’s still a lot of the same old same old!

My son Chris who recently graduated with his Master’s from Stanford University told us about the frightening night he drove into the gated community he stayed at with his roommates and the police pulled him over for nothing and made him sit there for hours. Their only complaint was that he didn’t look like he belonged in the swanky neighborhood in Oakland that he actually did belong in. Then there is my other son Drew who attends Johns Hopkins University who recently got his Master’s too. He’s still in school pursuing his PHD now and he’s told us of multiple incidents where he’s in line with other students for events and when it gets his turn to enter he’s asked for his ID just to be sure he really attends JHU. This crap is ridiculous!

People in 2019 want to decide where you’re allowed to go and how high you can fly based on your background. Nah fam! We aren’t going out like that. Quite frankly, I’m sure these tactics are meant to discourage us to only want to go places where we are allowed. There are some people who have decided they only want you to be places where we’re celebrated and not tolerated. So today, I seriously want to honor those people, especially those of color who are pioneering their way into doors that we haven’t exactly been welcomed into with open arms. I want to give a standing ovation to those of you who in spite of whatever prejudice you faced; you’ve made your way into arenas and fields that your gender, sexuality or race have been shunned and given the cold shoulder. Kudos to you for swimming in the proverbial pool when “they” all got out! May your journey to a better life be guided by your own personal angels that help you along the way. May your fight to get to the next level be received with as little turbulence as possible. May your children and your children’s children have a better future than yours because you pushed past the mean spirited people who tried to disqualify you because of the family you were born into or the zip code you lived in. May favor be poured out in your life in unimaginable ways until you arrive to your dream destination safe and completely whole in-spite of everything that was intended to make you crash and burn. For every single wicked person who tried to terrorize you along the way because of the hate they hold in in their heart; I pray more peace and prosperity over your life! May you repay no one evil for evil, but may the good that dwells in you rise up and carry you to your destiny!

Keep going and don’t stop no matter how hard the journey may get for you. No matter the blockage or discouragement, keep ascending. On the other side of this is the life you dreamed of. I’m so excited for your future. Just make up your mind not to be deterred because of the people who make you feel like you don’t belong in places you actually DO!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #flying #flight #readers #blogger #blog #travelblog #plane #people #mindset #mentality #racism #bigotry #prejudice #stanford #johnshopkins #university #brownfaces #vacation

I have family coming into town and it’s my duty to pick them up from the airport. Then, I have family leaving town and it’s my job to drop them off. The point is, I’ve made myself someone others can rely on when it comes to them going places. In order for me to do that, I’ve got to have a clear understanding of my schedule and coordinate that with theirs. Life is truly a balancing act and requires us being available to serve others but we must never forget that we too have got somewhere to go on this flight called life.

Lately, I’ve been noticing more and more people in a quandary regarding helping others. The issue is how much is too much? How can I assist others in their take off and still give enough time and attention to the goals and dreams I have for my life? The answer is a lot simpler than we make it. The bottom line is that we must always remember our lives are to be lived in service to others. There’s really nothing about your life that solely has to do with you. I even learned early in my marriage that the only way it would be successful is that I stop fighting for my rights and take care of the needs of my spouse. The more I was making my needs and wants a priority, the less time I had to consider my husbands needs. As soon as I stopped worrying about whether he was going to take care of me and started taking care of him; his whole perspective about me changed. We almost found ourselves in a competition around who could be better to the other! The more attention I gave him, I found him working to do the same if not better for me. Life is really the same way. The people who find life treating them well are the ones who have a selfless mindset when it comes to everything they say and do. The ones who find themselves the happiest are looking for ways to make others happy. On the other hand, those who are hoarding every good thing they have are not open to receive anything else. If your hands are balled up holding onto everything that belongs to you, you are clearly not in the position to have anything else placed into your life. Today, I challenge you to start looking for tangible ways to bless others. Not the fake, phony way we offer support and love to others in a cryptic sort of mysterious and non specific way. I mean making it clear how you intend on blessing and helping others. That to me speaks of a genuine person. No one knows the position you’re in better than you to help elevate someone or a cause. You know what you’re able to do. You know how much you can help and how much you can do! If you want to see your life change, change the way you give. Change the way you think about helping others. People you sincerely want to help ascend shouldn’t have to be evicted or lose their shirt before you step up and do something to aid them in their take off. Don’t wait to see them in a dire need when you have resources within your disposal. Are you waiting for them to be out begging before you do what you know you should have already done. There is such thing as self serving and then there are the selfless. Which one are you? Self serving people only sit around and think about how much they have. They hold onto their blessings as if they can take them to the grave with them. The people who are remembered most and celebrated are the ones who dedicated their lives to helping others take off. Make a list today of the lives you are helping get to their next level. If the only name on the list is you, you’re not headed in the right direction. Your life is not your own. You owe your time, talent, gifts and resources to supporting someone or something else go places!

I encourage the coachable to pass it on. Whatever you have stored up for yourself! Give it away. Give away your love, time, creativity, money! Someone needs it to do more than just spend it on self. Some people are out here inspiring people and you could help invest in them. When you invest in something greater than your ego, comfort and enjoyment, this life will reward you with more! If you’re lacking in any area today, evaluate what you’ve been doing at this point!!!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #flying

There are all kinds of ways you can get to your destination, but none of them are going to happen if the vehicle or means of transportation you’re relying on isn’t working properly. Today, I had to make an unpleasant visit to the mechanic to get some necessary work done on my truck. I literally cannot get around with a vehicle that’s not running effectively. To add insult to injury, the cost of getting quality work done wasn’t exactly what I had in mind to spend. There’s an old saying “You gotta pay to play!” So that’s what I did. I got my ride repaired, because I’ve got places to go and people go inspire.

Many of the challenges we face from day to day are merely life perplexities meant to help us tap into our creative nature and help us get closer to our destination. So what are you avoiding today that’s effecting your ability to go somewhere great? What hurdles and obstacles stand in the way of you getting to the next level on your journey? Don’t worry; you’re not alone. Everyone is facing something that’s not necessarily in their budget, but I believe there’s a much deeper capacity in us all that’s meant to rise up even in the face of the most troubling circumstances. Inside of you there’s a well of wisdom, insight, knowledge and strategy. You have hidden gifts and talents, and you’re not meant to crumble because your current “vehicle” is giving you a little trouble. Whatever it is that you’re relying on to get you to your desired destination, it’s not beyond repair. Get your perspective back on track and find a way to get it working again. Whether it’s your marriage, family, finances, health, business or ministry, don’t allow the current state of disrepair to get you down. Find some kind of way to get it working again. It’s possible for your vision to soar and reach your dream destiny! Don’t let the price tag or cost of anything make you feel intimidated or insecure about moving forward. Don’t let what you see make you sad and hopeless. As long as you have a little faith, you will get “it” done and get “there!”

I am here to tell you that when you make up your mind that you won’t be a victim, you won’t. When you make up your mind that you’re going to get around whether people help you or not; that’s when you’ll begin to take off. Today’s the day for you to stop avoiding what’s broken in your life. Figure out a way to get whatever needs to be repaired back in order. Whether it’s your heart, your confidence, your hope or passion; get it fixed!!! I’m so excited for you! You’re on the mend and moving closer to your next stop!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #traveling #takeoff #travel #mindset #mentality #soar #broken #repaired #restored #reset #startover

I had a dental appointment this morning and while I was sitting in the waiting area to be seen, I immediately thought about the connection between our mouths and our take off. Question of the day for my coachable friends – Is your mouth keeping you from flying?!

Thank God today is not a day I’m dealing with any dental problems or issues, this visit is preventive care. That’s a whole different message. But while I was waiting, I still couldn’t help but think about those people on this flight called life who can’t seem to get any further in life because they have too many issues with their mouth. There are literally people traveling on this journey with us whose mouth is their biggest problem. Yuck mouths, smart mouths, potty mouths,…not a good look especially if you plan on being promoted. Those who don’t have any control over how they come across, that’s not helpful to your life momentum. Those whose mouths has them stuck, unable to go anywhere personally or professionally can blame others all they want. At the end of the day it’s on you. Your mouth can really get you in a lot of trouble.

See, I’ve been there. Unable to communicate my feelings properly. Having a hard time speaking truth with tact. Knowing what’s worth my words and what isn’t. I’ve experienced serious trouble in times past expressing myself without crying or becoming angry or disrespectful to others. It’s been a real journey for me, but I learned much attention must be given to my mouth and even deeper that that my heart. Truth is, some people can’t control their mouths and they are constantly saying whatever comes to their mind. Then there are those who never get the courage to speak up and say what needs to be said. Their mouths are always on mute when they need to speak up. Sadly, there are some people in environments where they’re encouraged to express themselves without weighing the consequences of their words. People will tell them say what’s on your mind. That’s fine if your mind is in the right place. Unfortunately, expressing yourself while in the wrong frame of mind is the perfect way to crash and burn. Some speak too quickly and lose favor with the exact people who could help them get further.

This connection between what comes out of your mouth and your ascent is one we all need to put some more time and attention into. Just as I visited my dentist for a regular check up, we all need accountability partners who we check in with regularly who help support us in being responsible with what we say and what we do. Often what comes out of our mouths is only an indication of what’s going on in our hearts and minds. Our mouths are an instrument or tool used to express how we feel, think, what we believe. So even beyond our mouth check ups, we should take time to evaluate our heart posture often, because it has a huge effect on all areas of our life.

The heart, mind and mouth are all a part of a team working to represent us. You can sort of consider them your unofficial flight crew. See, if you and I don’t take the time to pay special attention to everyone one of our gates we could end up in trouble. The ear, mouth and eyes are gates just like the ones we leave from at the airport and the same way we have to find out what gate our plane is departing from; we need to do the same thing in our lives if we ever expect to go somewhere great! If you intend on taking off and getting to your desired destination; watch your mouth. Today I challenge you to say only the things that help you grow and get to your next level. Some of the things you are normally not careful about allowing to come of your mouth are not beneficial to your elevation. Don’t say it unless it’s moving you closer to your purpose. There are even some people who are a bad influence and their reckless behavior and lack of restraint when it comes to what they say and even do is detrimental to your ascension. AVOID THEM until you’re able to intelligently articulate what you will and will not tolerate at this point in your life. It’s not hard to say “Watch Your Mouth Around Me!”

If people are comfortable putting themselves down around you, stop them. If people are saying destructive words in your presence, excuse yourself. It’s not good for your mental health to be in toxic relationships where words are thrown around that don’t build and take you higher. You deserve to be treated with honor. First start by honoring your spirit by speaking only things that bring life and support you in your efforts to get closer to your destiny. I am cheering you on. This is going to be a great week for you because your mouth is not going to get you in trouble. It’s actually going to help you, especially the more you begin to check how you use it. I challenge you to only speak those words that help you soar!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flight #flying #takeoff #plane #mouth #dentist #speak #talk #communication

Yesterday I had the awesome privilege of officiating a baby dedication for a sweet little girl that I have grown to love dearly, baby Harper. It was such an honor for me to do this for her and her family because I can attest to the fact that she is truly someone who I believe is going places. Not to say that I don’t believe there’s potential for every child to take off in life, but there have been countless “dedications” I’ve performed where I knew the guardians were just going through religious motions and not genuinely dedicated to the said child’s actual ascension and spiritual take off in life. It’s hard to perform those types of “dedications”. It’s basically like the dedication of the undedicated. Painful to see people bringing actual lives into this world but their only commitment to them is making them a mini version of them. I don’t know about you, but I want my children and grandchildren to be BETTER than me. I don’t want them to act like me, unless they’re emulating only the good parts of me. And that’s impossible to control; that is what a child finds worth imitating in a parent. Often, there are some attributes I find in myself that mimic my mom or dad or grandparents and I didn’t do anything to activate it knowingly. Made me wonder if we are dedicated enough to teaching our children the difference between our weaknesses and our strengths. Are we honest enough to say that’s not an admirable quality in me, please do your best to unlearn that part of me? How invested are you in teaching those you lead on what they need to be dedicated to?

This sweet baby girl Harper, her parents made the effort to publicly have her dedicated to Christ yesterday and they are evidently devoted to seeing her go somewhere great! This got me to thinking even deeper about the things we’re really dedicated to versus the things we just go through the motions for the sake of looking like we’re headed in the right direction. How many of us participate in ceremonies and activities where we don’t really plan on following through with and being dedicated past the ceremony? There are people who sign up for various responsibilities/titles; wife, mom, dad, father, husband, teacher, leader, pastor, professional, caregiver, friend, and then when it’s time to stay the course of what we committed to, we cease to remain dedicated. How many people sign up for classes with no intention of making the necessary efforts to graduate? Or how many people act like they’re pursuing an intimate relationship with another person never making the effort to seal the deal and make it official!!! How many people sign up for a gym membership but never truly endeavor to get in shape.

My advice for the coachable is not complicated at all. It boils down to you making a serious commitment in your heart to only involve yourself in things that you are truly dedicated to. If you don’t like the job, find one you can wholeheartedly give your all to. If you don’t want to be in the relationship, leave. There’s no use in wasting valuable time and energy in a situation you’re not really invested in. Why break someone’s heart and keep them from someone who could make a serious commitment to them? Whatever you’re doing with your time and talents – make sure it’s what you really believe in. Stop living to please your parents. Aren’t you too old for that anyway? For God’s sake, stop doing things that you don’t really feel compelled to do. You’re not helping anyone by being so disingenuous when it boils down to it. If you’re connected to people who you know aren’t genuinely and authentically dedicated to you, let them off the hook. Give them the freedom to leave. It doesn’t have to be a war. Just tell them they don’t have to stay a part of anything if they’re not gonna be “all in.”

See, sometimes we have a tendency to avoid the obvious because we don’t want to deal with the sting that comes along with rejection or the ending of a thing. But you can be in a “relationship” constantly being rejected and neglected daily and that’s worse than dealing with the reality that whatever you’re in is not going anywhere. Make today the day that you face your fears. Face the awkward and uncomfortable in pursuit of really going somewhere great!! It’s virtually impossible to be in two places at one time. There’s a scripture in the Bible that says no man can serve two masters. Either he’s going to end up hating one and loving the other. Stop fooling yourself into thinking you can play on two teams at the same time. Make a commitment somewhere and watch how things progress. Your lack of true dedication may be the reason you’re stuck on the ground going nowhere fast.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #travel #takeoff #goingplaces #people #dedication #babyharper #traveling #ascension #mentality #mindset #blogger #blog

I stood on my deck this morning while I watched my shitzu wander all around my yard trying to find a place to “do her business.” She was literally all over the place, completely conflicted about where to go. Her uncertainty about where she would end up feeling the most comfortable made me think about how many of us are the same when it comes to any and every decision we have to make. Sometimes it takes me forever to pick out a color of polish for my nails, let alone handle the important stuff in my life. This made me think – Is there really any decision we make that’s not important?

Isn’t everything we decide a big deal? Furthermore, what kind of person does that make you if you can’t decide on the small matters in your life? Doesn’t that make you someone who has an even harder time when it comes to the major decisions that need to made? The word that came to my mind immediately was AMBIVALENT.

amˈbivələnt/

Am I ambivalent? Surely I can’t be. Not the way I feel about people like this at this stage of my life. Ambivalent people don’t interest me at all in this phase of my journey. Ambivalence shows up in relationships, especially those close intimate ones when there is a coexistence of opposing emotions and desires towards the other person that creates an uneasiness, hesitancy or uncertainty about being in the relationship. Now I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m getting too old to be closely connected to people who aren’t decided about how they feel about me. To be honest, I was never the type to allow people to be grey with me. Especially when it comes to those who share a close relationship with me. I remember when I first started dating my husband. One of the first questions I asked him had to do with his timeline concerning marriage. His response was quick. In a pretty matter of fact tone he said “Maybe when I get in my forties,..then I’ll get married.” I remember calmly telling him this maybe our first and last date because I would by no means be his “girlfriend” for the next 25 years. Obviously, things changed because we have been married for 25 years now.

This wouldn’t have happen if I made him comfortable being ambivalent with me. Now I’m sure some of you are thinking that’s pretty bold. To demand marriage on a first date. I, on the other hand didn’t consider my questioning his intentions to be demanding his hand in marriage. I considered my upfront approach part of my responsibility. It’s what I owed myself. I deserved to know if this was someone worth my time. Was this someone that I could expect to spend more time with and actually enjoy it. Or was I being naive to think that we could end up going in the same direction without having some courageous conversations. Many of the disappointments we experience on this flight called life occur because we are often too afraid to ask for what we want. I guess we think people will magically know what we want without communication. That’s crazy. It would be as ridiculous as you or I getting on a plane and have no idea where it’s heading and then being disappointed or offended when we arrived somewhere we hate.

This is why I strongly suggest you who are going places in life, to ask a lot of questions. Think like a four year old when going somewhere you’ve never been. Ask a zillion questions. Questions give you the opportunity to learn what you’re dealing with. They help you hear the heart of the other person about things you would have never learned had you not probed deeper. Sadly, many of you have ended up with a lot of regret and pain because you were too afraid to ask. Too afraid to ask “Are you married?” Too afraid to ask “Do you have kids? ” Too afraid to ask” Is the person you had kids with a psycho?” “Are you a psycho?” “Do you have a bad temper?” “Is your family controlling?” “Do you have a job?” “Are you looking for love or help?” Please ask a lot of questions dear friends.

Even beyond romantic relationships, a lot of questions need to be asked. In building a business or a team ask questions. “Do you want to be me?” “Are you here to help or learn what took me years to learn and leave?” Are you in competition with me?” Ask them all the questions you can think of! Don’t allow people to sit and smile in your face and be silent. Silent people are conflicted people. The other side of that is that conflicted people are dangerous people. I often observe those who were once talkative and expressive become distant and apathetic. And that’s fine, but if they stay in that weird place they are toxic. If you’re going to move beyond that place of having toxic people on your “team,” hard questions must be asked and the ambivalent person must answer them. Otherwise you’re going nowhere with them. Often times, their silence is a sign of their cowardice and their absence of bravery to say what’s on their mind. It is also a dishonorable heart posture and is a serious issue that will effect your vision and your ultimate take off. Don’t be afraid to move on when it comes to these divided ambivalent people. Their confusion doesn’t need to be yours. Their imbalance and lack of honesty and transparency doesn’t have to interfere with your ascension. Don’t let it. Have the necessary talks and then go somewhere great!

So many times we waste precious time trying to rehabilitate people that don’t want to change. We spend our energy dealing with problematic people who never become profitable. It’s so sad that we can want better for people than they want for themselves. You are not called to win people who are not convinced that life is more than being two faced, fake and phony. You are not called to double minded people either. Their indecision is not your problem. Stop waiting for them to grow up and see that their hesitancy is a sign of their immaturity and their own internal crisis.

Please move on. It’s not good for your mental health to keep waiting on people who don’t want to go anywhere. Decide today who’s who in your life and then take off. You’ll feel a lot freer when you know what you’re really working with. You can do bad by yourself. Why have a bunch of dead weight around you? Their presence doesn’t equal their support either. Look at you still struggling with them right there. Some people get a kick out of watching you frustrated and mad. They’re getting paid to see you frustrated. If they were really supposed to be supporting you and helping you get to the next level then why is nothing changing? Why are you still trying to reach achievable goals all by yourself? Point blank you need to realize that when what people say and what they do is not adding up, they are not sincerely with you. I’m learning that. It’s a sobering lesson, but necessary. Have the talk today. And after this talk, don’t ever ask them again. If they’re with you, you’ll see. If they’re not, you’ll see that too. It’s impossible to go somewhere with someone who’s determined to go in the opposite direction. Ask some people who you think you’re traveling with – Are we going the same place or not?

You’ll be surprised what the response is.

Copyright ©️2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flight #flying #mindset #mentality #ambivilance #ambivalent