I’m Taking Flight With People Who Inspire Me!

Are the people that you’re traveling with encouraging you or depressing you? Are they able to challenge you to greatness or do they help you stay stagnant or stuck? You know it makes a monumental difference who you travel with? If you’ve ever been on a trip anywhere with people who suck the living joy out of you, you’re probably never going anywhere with them again. That is, if you’re in your right mind. Notice I prefaced my statement by saying “IF YOU’RE IN YOUR RIGHT MIND!” The way you think and how much crap you’re willing to put up with, or not is going to have a lot to do with how much courage you have! I’ve been teaching a great bit lately on the heart. It’s really made me evaluate how much courage I have for life and my assignment and calling. It’s also important to realize what eats away at your courage, even down to who has the ability to DIS – courage! I have really started taking a greater inventory in my life on who and what impacts my joy on this flight called life. I made up my mind that life is too short to tolerate foolishness, so when people and circumstances expose their intentions, I make the necessary adjustments to change my environment!!!!!!!!!!

See, the bottom line is you’ve got to be honest with yourself! How many of these people who drive you to drinking are people you actually have to spend time with? I’ll wait,…….How many of them are there? See,..I think somewhere along the way we forgot that we don’t have to hang around people we don’t like. Can I get an AMEN?!!!!! I’m so serious about this. And I know, you’re saying that’s not nice, and maybe it isn’t but when are you going to stop being nice over being genuine and authentic? If you asked me, playing “nice” and hiding the fact that you don’t want to spend time with certain people is actually not being nice to yourself. Believe me, it took me some time to get free from the FOG (feelings of guilt) associated with the fact that I was allowing certain people to be in my life and it was not an enjoyable experience. I was spending holidays around the table with people who didn’t support my dreams, didn’t have a single encouraging word to say to me when they saw me,…Shucks they didn’t even know me!!!! It’s really not good for your mental health to let people you’re related to, guilt you into spending special holidays with them when they actually don’t want to be around you in real life.

Get over it and start living your life! It really is your life if you choose to start living it. If anyone is going to be angry with you because you decline to attend their dinner party or event,…. there you have it. They feel entitled to your time and you owe no one your time! No one should feel entitled when it comes to your life. If you choose to share your days in the presence of certain people, the least it should be is inspiring, pleasant and empowering. Take a moment and make a list of the people who do that for you! Then, go right ahead and spend as much time as you want hanging out with them because the outcome is going to make your life better. Instead of leaving the room feeling discouraged, belittled, frustrated and hurt; when you leave the presence of inspiring people you’ll have ideas that you can turn into profit! When you leave the room of people who empower and uplift you, you’ll leave with a greater sense of courage, focus and insight!

Where you spend your time and who you spend it with has a lot to do with how far you will go in life! If you do whatever the work is necessary after leaving people who are on a mission, your life should be headed somewhere greater than it was before you stepped into their environment. Check the temperature in the room when you arrive. Are people in the room positive, honest, sober and knowledgable? Are they humble and teachable? Or are you surrounded with a bunch of addicts, cursing and talking nonsense? Are they pessimistic complainers who sit and swap stories where they all share a similar theme of sadness and hopelessness? This could be the exact reason why you’ve lost your sense of purpose! I don’t care who they are, no one should be so important to you that you lose yourself when they’re in the room.

Today, make a decision to be careful about the atmospheres you enter. Every door is not your door. Every opportunity and invite is not one meant to help propel you into your greatness. Even when you consider the conversations you participate in, are they all a good investment for you to be talking to them? Is there any point in saying the same thing to a bunch of stiff necked people who are determined to see things from a blurred perspective? They’re going to be the reason you end up aggravated and annoyed. Leave rooms where your wisdom is not received. Your next move is up to you. Where you go and who you go with is important. Don’t be so desperate for company and invitations that you say yes to people who if you’re not careful have the potential to poison your passion. I’ve seen it and it’s so sad to watch people go down the tubes hanging out with losers. Make today the day where you raise your standards when it comes to the company you keep.

Copyright ©️thelifecoachps Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #peoplewhoinspire #somewheregreat #mentality #mindset #people #traveltips #flight #takeoff

DOROTHY WAS TRIPPING

As a little girl, I grew up in love with the movie “The Wizard of Oz.” I thought it was so magical! The entire story captivated me. I loved watching the life of Dorothy until recently I sat back and thought about how messed up her mentality was. This grown woman was living with her Auntie Em and her Uncle Henry and some other family members who I might add were middle age men with no families!! That’s not weird I know. Anyway, Dorothy is here living with all these adults on this farm where she was always being treated like she was a little baby girl. This is not cute either. Grown women who’s fathers and families act like they’ some little infant. It’s strange. Back to Dorothy. Her family treated her like she was a little nuisance and I guess her wearing bobby socks and carrying a basket, riding a bike and galavanting around with a little dog named Toto all day didn’t help either. That’s not weird at all! LOL.

Meanwhile, Dorothy is being harassed by a neighborhood witch and the only peace she could find was in running away from it all with her dog singing songs and doing choreographed dance from time to time. Well, I’m sure you know the rest of the story. She gets hit in her head when a storm comes. Preach! Then she falls asleep and wakes up in some enchanted world. I know, it’s amazing how unreal and real this story is at the same time. The fact that the only way she leaves her family and her extreme codependency is that a storm comes! Ha! If you asked me all this right here makes for some really good preaching material. All in all, she thinks she’s awake but the whole time she’s sleep. Insert Baptist fit! She dreams some good stuff, and a lot bad stuff too, and yet even in her dreams she can’t get away from her family! This sounds like the story of a lot of people I know.

The whole time while she’s traveled to this amazingly beautiful place, she’s still haunted by the demons of her past and the only desire in her heart while she’s in paradise is that she still really just wants to go back home. A big grown woman in a beautiful place with only one desire in her heart and that’s to go back to her dysfunctional family! Sad! Pathetic! Downright disturbing if you asked me. The whole time she’s on a journey to find out who she is, to see the world, to experience life from her own perspective; she can’t seem to shake her addiction to her family and her insatiable desire to go back to her childhood. She was constantly trying to make her new reality the same one she left. Even when you consider how abrupt her departure was from her family of origin, I think it’s the only way she would have left. Makes me think that the storms and challenges we encounter in life are often what’s necessary to push us out of our comfort zone. Dorothy like you and I, would have never experienced anything other than the boring repetitious daily hum drum she was used to if it hadn’t been for the storm! When she gets to the amazing place her storm pushed her to, interesting little people come out and celebrate her for showing up! Can I tell you that there are people waiting on you to show up! But what happens if you refuse to grow up? What happens if you try to avoid the storms and remain stuck in the same cycles and circles that make you comfortable? When Dorothy’s house falls in Munchkinland, The whole town came out to celebrate her because she killed the wicked witch that was tormenting them. Never mind there was another witch still alive who was the sister to the one that she had accidentally killed. Maybe that’s another reason why so many of us refuse to move forward in life. Maybe it’s fear that we’ll incite witches and demons and evil spirits that are assigned to certain regions. You know there is such thing as territorial demons.

See, I know that every dreamer, visionary or gifted person reading this has a people waiting for you to show up. You have the power to free them and inspire them and help them go to their next level the same way Dorothy’s arrival helped the people in Munchkinland. The same way the people waiting for you to show up are ready for you, there are powers of darkness that are not going to let you come without a fight. Here’s my encouragement for you, don’t back down because YOU ARE GOING TO WIN! Don’t let fear keep you from going somewhere great! Don’t stay stuck trying to repeat yesterday when tomorrow is waiting for you to show up! Made me think how many of us are doing the same thing as Dorothy, wishing for the old days to come back rather than living in the now. While on her journey to the see the great and wonderful OZ, Dorothy meets up with three people who are similarly just as “lost” as she is. They resemble people from her past, so she invites them on her adventure to find happiness. Just think for a moment about your own life. Are you attracting people who are just as lost as you are? Are you constantly a magnet for people who resemble your past? Or are you making the courageous decision to travel somewhere great even if it’s scary? Are you determined to keep reliving the same story line over and over again? Are you so addicted to keeping your life familiar that you’re just like Dorothy? A proverbial big grown woman dressed up like a little girl, talking like a baby surrounded by a bunch of people who are annoyed by your immaturity but putting up with you anyway? Surrounded by people who share the same insecurities and fears as you?

It’s time for Dorothy and all of us who loved this story to see it for what it is! It’s a great peek into the life of someone who’s completely delusional and irrational. It’s delusional for you and I to be grown up behaving like little kids. It’s irrational for us to be 30, 40 and 50 and so fused with other people we don’t know how to do anything on our own. It’s irrational and delusional for us to think there’s a wizard who’s got the power to make our lives better when we are actually equipped with everything we need to experience amazing lives without the need of some man or woman to save us. It’s actually possible to go somewhere great and we can do it without needing the affirmation and approval of Auntie Em, Uncle Henry or anyone from the farm to make a move. And I’m sorry to tell you, that as beautiful and amazing as life can be, while we are going places, there will be lions and tigers and bears, Oh my! But none of that should be able to stop us from putting on our big girl panties and taking whatever path we’re brave enough to take. Follow the yellow brick road,…green, blue, black,..just go and don’t stop until you see the life you believe you’re meant to live. Don’t let anything stop you. On the way, we will all meet people who seem to have no brain. We’ll encounter the heartless and people with no courage and some of them may turn out to be some of our closest friends. Just don’t forget to be a friend to yourself. Love yourself and the right people will be drawn to you. There will be some witches along the way, but good always wins over evil! At the end of the day, your story doesn’t have to end with you feeling hopeless and having to run back home.

The bottom line is, Home is wherever you plant your feet. Home is wherever you want it to be should you make the brave decision to unpack your bags and stop seeking an easy escape when this journey called life gets difficult from time to time. You may meet someone like the wizard who makes you think they can do more for you than they actually can, and if you allow your disappointment in people to make you give up, shame on you. Never stop dreaming. Never stop believing no matter what you feel or see along the way. Today you’re reading this because you needed to. You needed this reminder before you convinced your grown self that running back home to your family of origin and their whacky thinking is acceptable. That is not the answer. Go somewhere great for once in your life and commit to it. Free yourself from the grips of needing to have everything the way it was. I guarantee when you do this, you will begin to experience life and it will be from a brand new perspective! Stop expecting where you’re going to be like Kansas. It’s a new day and you won’t have to go somewhere over the rainbow to see it!

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #dorothywastripping #somewhereovertherainbow #dorothy #thewizardofoz #lionsandtigersandbears

Some of these people you’re traveling with are NOT NICE

There are some seriously obnoxious people on this flight with you. I think I needed to tell you this. They’re not even trying to be nice. Nope, they’re not even in many cases pretending to be trying either. What they are doing is watching you. Some of them are watching you tread through rough waters. They’re sitting back watching you suffer and they could help but they won’t. It’s not very nice at all and many of them are convinced that they’re teaching you some sort of a lesson. Could be the very lesson that they had to learn and if that isn’t a dysfunctional mentality I don’t know what is! To want other people to go through an enormous amount of pain and trauma because you had to, that’s not nice. But that’s seriously the way some of these people think and in many instances what has them feeling superior to you. Here’s what I will tell you; it surely isn’t the fruit of kindness that’s motivating this heart posture. Truth be told, some of these people you’re journeying through life with are not as nice as they want the public to see them.

Just take a look at how they handle things. If you’re genuinely trying to help the people you’re traveling with take off, wouldn’t it be obvious? Wouldn’t it be evident? But no! You’ve got to figure out whether or not most of these people who say they’re with you are actually trying to help you get to your destination because their actions are not clear at all. People say stuff like, “In my heart, I want to see you go somewhere great!” Well isn’t that an interesting statement. And why in the world do I have to read the fine print of your heart to find out if you’re for me?

Why is this necessary for your support to be hidden until I’m ready to throw in the towel, when all you have to do is act accordingly??If you want to see me go places, simply help me get there. Plain and simple. Don’t talk about it, be about it. If you genuinely mean well concerning my take off, don’t waste time being all mysterious and making it all spooky and deep; just be there for me and help me. Makes you wonder why there so many people around watching you struggle? Why won’t they just make their intentions known? Just offer me the position. Write me the recommendation. Tell your connection about me. Just send the money. Write the check. Buy the tickets. Come to the event. Show up when you have time. It’s not so difficult to make your efforts clear. Why be so cryptic and distant when your tangible support is so needed? Why do so many “nice” people help organizations they don’t have any affiliation with while they watch the very people they know need them drown?

If you asked me; the answer is they’re not really nice people. No bonafide nice person who really wants to see the people in their life take off, sits back and watches the people they’re with go down. On the contrary, they do whatever they can to make things happen. It’s not nice to have the ability to change a situation and not do anything. It’s not nice to smile and watch people sink. It’s not nice to have the resources to make something better and sit on your hands. Today is a good day to stop deluding yourself about these so called “nice” people in your life. Take some time and be real. Look at these jokers in your life and assess what kind of an individual would handle the people they’re in community with like they handle you? Are they really nice people or are you traveling with some jerks? Only a jerk would sit back and have the wherewithal to help others take flight and yet do absolutely nothing or as little as possible. Even if you help someone a little, if it’s still not enough they’re still screwed. What kind of person helps a person get half way to their destination? Not a nice one. Make an effort to stop being so obnoxious when it comes to the people you have the capacity to bless. If people treat you not so nice, use this reality as a motivator to start handling the life you have and the people in it much better. As a matter of fact, choose to make everything you’re connected to nicer!

I’m the realest life coach and I approve this message.

Copyright ©️2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #notsonice #travel #takeoff #people #mentality #mindset #motivation #connections #sink #swim

Nobody is coming to save you!

per·spec·tive/pərˈspektiv/

a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

Your personal perspective has a lot to do with how you live your life. It has a lot of impact on how you see things and how you look at situations. Your perspective has an enormous affect on the way you view the people in your life. If you’re not careful your perspective on life can ruin the quality of your life. There are some people who, as a result of their messed up perspective; create ideas and viewpoints in their minds about life that adversely shape their outcomes and their realities. There are people sitting around right now, not speaking to or enjoying the company of people that could bless their lives. They are sitting disconnected from people they love because they have a warped sense of self that’s placed a wedge between them and people who could positively influence their lives. Much of our suffering in life today is not happening because we needed to learn a lesson. I’d even venture to say, you’re not suffering because God is trying to punish you. The bottom line for most people is they are suffering because of a wrong perspective and view of self and life. If your perspective is shame based and you think for some reason you deserve to be going through what you’re going through, UNLEARN THAT! Some of you are making yourself sick trying to make sense out of why you’re going through hurt and pain in certain relationships when all you need to do is leave. Some of you ought to stop it. There’s no medal or award waiting for you for being a martyr to poor treatment. You will not win a Nobel Peace Prize for letting people manipulate you and mistreat you. What you will get is a lot of heartache. You will end up bitter and broken and fragile when the point of trouble in your life is for you to get stronger. Can I tell you, there is no strength in letting people harm you over and over again. There’s no strength in letting people take advantage of you. Whoever taught you that you need to go through a lot of crap in order to get to a place where you finally get to enjoy life lied to you.

There are even some of you reading this who’ve you’ve been conditioned to think “no pain no gain” in every sense of life. This is not a healthy way to live. It’s not good for your mental health to think that in order to have your Prince Charming you’ve got to kiss a bunch of frogs first. Start being selective and raise your standards and refuse to be put through a lot of chaos as a prerequisite to happiness. It’s not healthy for your mind to believe that you’ve got to be used and abused first in order to find support and encouragement from people in your life. Of course life happens to us all in one way or another. It’s no secret that people disappoint, they disagree with us, some leave us, some of our nicest belongings fall apart, some of our plans and dreams don’t quite work out; but that doesn’t mean you have to sign up for a life full of suffering in order to get to your desired destination. Change that mentality that says you have to be hazed first in order to be accepted into friendships and relationships. Start thinking like someone who has the power to control their destiny. You and I do have the power to choose who we love, where we live, where we work and who we hang out. No one is forcing you to suffer through life and be around people you don’t want to. No one is making you go into any setting or environment you don’t want to go into. You are not a slave to a life you don’t want to live. If there is something you don’t like; change it. Stop suffering in the name of love, family, loyalty, friendship,… Stand up for yourself today and choose to be a victor instead of a victim. Stop saying you’re being prepared for something when you’ve subscribed to a life of pointless suffering. Those are not your people. That’s not your dream job. This is not the life you saw yourself living. There’s nobody on their way to save you. Save yourself and map out the steps and strategies for you to start seeing your dreams and hopes manifest. It’s not going to happen by osmosis. Get up and change your perspective!

I’m The Realest Life Coach and I approve this message.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #perspective #victororvictim #standup #mentality #mindset #blog #blogger

thank God for support

ON THE AIRPLANE, one of the my favorite features is the good old faithful armrest. The armrest is there for so many reasons. One of the most important of it’s functions if you asked me is that it provides a boundary between you and the person sitting next to you. When I’m traveling, I usually fly with my husband right next to me. He is arguably the closest human being in my life, yet he often thinks he can ignore my personal space. Fortunately, his disregard for my need of liberty is met with much resistance thanks to the armrest.

The armrest in those moments when he wants to cuddle up in what is already an extremely uncomfortable spot, now becomes my silent ally. It literally stands up for me and speaks out, advocating for my personal space and comfort while I’m going somewhere new. The armrest tells even my closest friend, she deserves some freedom to travel without feeling cramped or weighed down by anyone, including the people closest to her. It might sound funny to you, but I’m dead serious. This to me is a real thing. See, if you are like me and you’re trying to go somewhere great and the entire trip your comfort is being compromised for the comfort of others, there’s a good chance that by the time you reach your destination you’ll be cranky and in no shape to really enjoy the journey. You’ll be no good for the people around you, because you never got to experience the freedom of renewing your mind and getting refreshed for the next level.

I thought about this in terms of the roles and responsibilities so many of us have on us. How so many of us live our lives in service to others and that’s truly noble and great and all. But at some point where’s the armrest for you? Where’s the boundary between you serving others and someone finally letting you lean on their shoulder? When do you finally get the access to someone else’s space that you’ve made so easily available to others? Boundaries are a way for you to honor your needs. This is why the armrest is so wonderful to me. Someone took the time to think of that for me. To know that someone knew I would need a marker and a safe place to rest my tired shoulders. Some of us don’t have many people in our lives like this, but thank God for the ones we do have. I’m thankful for the ones I can rest my tired shoulders on and sleep a little. Those who don’t take offense to me recharging and renewing my perspective. The armrest and friends like it represent the reliable, consistent and amazing support systems we have in our lives. The armrest on the plane takes away the need to speak up for yourself. There are some friends like that. They know when we need a breather. They know when we are exhausted emotionally and they offer support for us in those times without making a big fuss. It’s good having this kind of support because when you step off that plane, you’ve got to open up your own mouth and tell the other people in your life where you stand when it comes to your boundaries, limits and standards. Even when it comes to those closest to you, I encourage you to be courageous enough to say, you’re going too far. Open up your mouth and say, this is my armrest aka boundary and you need to honor my space if you genuinely care about me. Today is the day for you to remind yourself and those around you that it’s ok to use your armrest. After all, it’s there to help you on flight called life.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #travel #people #thearmrest #armrest #boundaries #standards #personalspace

If You Wrestle With A Pig

People will be mad at you when you make a decision to work on yourself and grow. When you decide to leave dysfunction behind, not everyone will be happy for you. Believe it or not, some people will be downright angry when you take off. When you decide you no longer want to do the tango with manipulative people and play games anymore, there will be some real life turbulence.

That uneasiness will decrease the more self defined you become and the more you create boundaries that honor your needs. Some people will call you mean, selfish, unchristian. So what! That’s nothing more than classic manipulation. Don’t fall for the gaslighting. The basis of most dysfunctional codependent relationships is that one person is constantly meeting the needs of another while their own needs are going unmet. That’s an unequal relationship doomed for failure and whether the abuse be financial, emotional, abuse of your time or resources; the narcissist is never going to stop needing you to supply them with more. It’s never enough!

So the more you gain the strength to say no and the more you gain the confidence to raise your standards and stick with your new value system; expect the backlash to intensify. It’s coming but you will come out better. The rage from them has to get worse before it gets better because you’re breaking a toxic pattern. But the better off you’ll be no matter how difficult it may get while in the storm. As you stick to your new values you will begin to teach these people how you expect to be treated. The ones who value you, will get over it and stay. The narcissistic ones will decide they only want to win and have control, so they will move onto to someone else they can do that with. They don’t value anyone. Sadly, there are so many grown people who behave this way. But you don’t have to engage in any relationship that dishonors your values.

Crazy how some of you act as if you’re being forced to participate in the relationships you’re in. That’s far from the truth. The only reason some people call you is because you still answer their calls. The only reason some people meet you for dinner is because you keep agreeing to go. The only reason you spend time at their house is because you got your grown tail in your car and drove there and now you have the audacity to complain about a decision you made? You ought to be ashamed of yourself for being so disingenuous. Be honest and stop placing the responsibility on other people for your happiness. Instead of blaming people for making your life miserable; take responsibility for giving them access to do it. That’s actually what people who are emotionally mature do.

Emotionally mature people say what they feel when they believe it’s going to be heard and respected. Then they will sincerely look for respectful ways to resolve conflict. Emotionally immature people on the other hand, like to keep mess going. Definitely not a practice of someone going anywhere great. George Bernard Shaw has a profound saying I love so much. It basically says “if you wrestle with a pig you’ll both get dirty; but the pig enjoys it.” This wrestling in the mud concept is sooo good because it literally describes the way some people handle themselves everywhere they go. They simply seem to enjoy dirt and mess. They love gossip and drama. They love competing and stirring up nonsense. I personally find it and people like this extremely exhausting. I’m too busy enjoying being creative and helping people ascend. I’m too focused on pursuing a life of possibilities, peace and happiness. I absolutely love being in atmospheres and environments full of inspiration and encouragement. I prefer steering clear of people who enjoy mud.

There’s a popular technique in psychology called Observe but don’t Absorb. This is such a powerful stance to take when dealing with people who love to keep drama aka mud going. Just sit there and watch them. Stay calm. Don’t say a thing. No need to respond, they’re having fun. Don’t engage emotionally and invest your time. Just observe them and don’t absorb any of it. Especially when you haven’t done anything to them and you know they are only trying to lure you into their pig pen of mess. Do your absolute best to resist the need to see what’s wrong with them. Resist the need to make peace with them. You didn’t do anything wrong to them! And please remember, they love this mess. They want you in the pig pen with them so they can keep you muddy. The difference is, you want something else from your relationships. You don’t want to control people. You don’t want to pull people into anything. You just want a normal relationship, but that’s unrealistic when you’re dealing with a pig. Last piece of advice for my real life coachable friends – Change your expectation. Don’t lower your expectations, just change them. A pig can only be a pig. They will often never change, but great if they do. At the end of the day, their transformation is not your responsibility anyway. You keep working on you. You keep on learning to love yourself better. Keep learning new ways to honor your needs and watch your life take off. I guarantee you, God is going to send genuine, normal people into your life who relate to you from a place of mutual respect and care.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #ifyouwrestlewithapig #travel #takeoff #observedontabsorb #people #mentality #stayawayfrompigs #hotmess

This Time When You Go Up

When going places, there are some items I can’t travel without. There are my beats, my sleeping mask, my blanket, and something to write with and something to read. That’s it! Those are my must haves on the plane. I noticed that anytime I’m up in the air, I’m extremely creative. More than normal. I’m able to think much clearer. I can remember the goals I’ve let slip away and in my silence I’m able to tap into a realm of peace and calm and think of some of the things that really inspire my soul.

Maybe the fact that the airlines require travelers to unplug and come off the grid when up in the air is one of the main reasons why I’m able to have such clarity and focus when I’m flying. This really started my wheels to turning as it relates to making the decision to quiet my spirit and get my mind more on task. It really convicted me about moving deeper into the direction of my dreams, visions and plans for the future, not later but now. Makes me want to encourage my real life coachable friends to do the same.

Develop a discipline and a schedule where you make time for your goals. This is real self love. Way beyond taking a bubble bath, eating chocolate cake, watching a favorite movie or going to get your nails done. Self love is taking yourself seriously. Taking your dreams and plans for the next level to new horizons unapologetically and with passion and dedication. I’m serious. How else are you going to reach your goals if you won’t make time to put together a strategy? How else will you move out of the place of wishing and wanting better? You’re going to have to do more than pray. Even the Bible says faith without works is dead. Oh, and don’t waste another moment feeling bad about the response of people after you share your plans with them. Who cares if they think your ideas are stupid or they don’t believe in you. I need you to believe in you! That’s half the battle there. Who cares if they would rather give their money to other people and laugh at your goals. Don’t expect broke people to invest in you. They don’t have it either financially, emotionally or spiritually. If they did, they wouldn’t be so stingy towards your hopes! Who cares if they won’t help you, someone will eventually, you just gotta keep pushing anyway. You could actually be one NO away from your YES! Don’t give up! I’m telling you, don’t! No matter what, this is your dream and no one else is going to be more excited about it than you. Sometimes you can involve people in your “projects’ and think they will share your passion and enthusiasm, only to find out, they are not as into it as you expected. Don’t let that frustrate you either. People are actually very selfish and once you start believing in yourself, they are often inspired but the inspiration can become competition too. It’s sad but true.

Just stay UP! Don’t be sidetracked. It’s amazing how being up in the air makes me want to go harder concerning my destiny. It’s definitely a spiritual thing! This is also why you can’t afford to hang out with people who aren’t willing to approach life with the same intention. That ole’ saying “You can’t hang out with chickens if you expect to fly with eagles” is soooooo true. Is it chickens or turkeys. I don’t know. Either way, they are both dumb birds. You can’t be a dreamer and hang out with losers. Chickens can’t leave their level and go high. There are some people aka chickens around you now who (if you allow them to) will affect and infect your ability to go up. Don’t let that happen. This is why you’re reading this today because you needed to be reminded to watch your surroundings. Take special notice on the things you say and what you think about in your quiet time. Don’t let negative seeds take root in your mind. Don’t start taking your growth and your transformation lightly either. While you try and go up, please be extra mindful of people and situations that work hard to distract you and bring you back down. There are some people and mindsets that are like gravity and they will pull you back to the same mentality you’re getting free from if you’re not careful.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the position UP is also the direction we all (who are purposed to go places) want to go in! I’m sure the fact that you’re reading this article today is a sign that you’re someone who’s determined to go somewhere great! You’re reading this today and you don’t want to struggle anymore, and I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to. Not with all that you’re stocked with. All those gifts, talents, wisdom, skills and knowledge that you have, you can do anything you put your mind to! What I realized for myself is that if I’m not careful, it is easy to drift into the mundane routine of life and excuse your procrastination, and let your hopes and dreams sail away. Today, I want to encourage you to look UP and stay UP! Lift up your head, open your eyes and start thinking like you did before you let fear take control. Think like you did before you ever let someone make you think your attempts towards greatness were a mistake. Think like you did before you ever knew what a failure was. Take your outlook on life UP higher and remember back to a time when you didn’t allow the naysayers and the negative voices in your life to discourage you and talk you out of trying new things.

See, it’s perfectly normal to have some jitters when you’re stepping out on faith, but I guarantee you that you are not alone. Someone believes in you. I believe in you! You can do it! Whatever you’ve been burdened to do, don’t let it die because you had to plug back into this noisy world. Don’t let the phones, jobs, family demands and schedules take you back to being distracted and anxious. Please don’t allow the busyness of life to get you off track and in a tizzy where you lose your sense of direction and passion for your business, book, movie, play, CD,……or whatever it is. Don’t let people and their foolishness trip you up. Do the best that you can do and don’t just say that like a cliche. Actually mean it and come through with your best in every way possible. The Nations are waiting on you, but before you put out another thing, make a determination that you will do everything you do this time with EXCELLENCE. Seriously,…. don’t do it unless you’re really proud of it. Don’t present anything that you don’t believe in and expect other people to believe in it. Make it amazing!!! Make it beautiful! Make it special. Too many people are guilty of coming down from the posture of UP and doing things with very little attention to detail. Take your plans seriously no matter who else does and watch your goals stay UP!!!!!!!!! This time when you go up, STAY UP.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach.com #goingplaces #takeoff #travelblog #blogger #mentality #people # blog #tripping #UP

A list of things I ain’t got time for,…

I’ve been on a sabbatical! Yep! While helping others take off is still and will always be one of the main reasons I think I was born, I could never do what I do well if I neglected my own needs. This got me to thinking about how many people are literally trying to excel in life while neglecting themselves. It made me think how tragic it is that so many “smart people” refuse to talk to a counselor, therapist or mentor about their negative thought patterns, but yet always want to vent their frustrations to other people who don’t know how to help them learn a new way to think and live. How many of you reading this find yourself easily agitated, tired and stressed out because you’re trying to do all of these noble things that help your brand and even may appear to boost your self image but, in the meantime you’re wearing yourself out?

Deep down inside you know you’re not experiencing the kind of joy you present on your Instagram story. You’re always ready to snap on people and your thought life is far from a pretty picture. You’re actually (if you would be honest) pretending to be something you aren’t. The hard truth is you’ve neglected your own life trying to help other people live. This is one of the hallmarks of codependency and a big struggle for people dealing with self love deficit. No amount of loving other people will make up for your needs not being met. Even while you love other people to your own detriment, you’re going to surely continue to build up more and more resentment because most of the people you attract have no problem with you giving love to them while simultaneously letting your needs go unmet. Can I help you by telling you that you’re going to have to go cold turkey and learn to love YOURSELF! There I said it. You’re going to have to stop needing the love of dysfunctional people. Release the idea that you need these narcissistic people to love you and approve of you. Whether it’s family or friends or people you look up to. They’re not treating right. Stop looking for their affirmation and validation. If you told a stranger how messed up some of these people have treated you, they would look at you and ask you is everything okay?!! Meaning, how in the world do you rationalize people mistreating you like that and keep allowing them to do it over and over again? If that’s not self love deficit I don’t know what is!

Last time I checked an elder or sibling or spouse or friend is supposed to treat you like the definition that goes along with that word. Most of these warped individuals out here will treat a stranger nice and crap on their “loved ones!” It’s a no for me. I have learned to love myself so well that you can’t dishonor me without my permission, and the answer is no. You can’t dishonor me. The question I have for you is – haven’t you learned by now that you’re not going to get what you give them from them. They’re never going to love you the way you want to be loved. Especially when you aren’t courageous enough to communicate what you need instead of thinking people can read your mind. Then those of you who think all that brown nosing and people pleasing you do is going to get you the love you want; WRONG! That’s going to get your feelings hurt even more. People with Self love deficit think the more generous they are with their love and support of other people, the more they will get back. But it never happens. It’s a slippery slope and far from the way real love works.

In a healthy relationship, no one owes anyone anything. People love from their overflow not from their emptiness. You people who do nice stuff for the crappy people in your life and then sit back and wait for them to pay you back; you are never going to find what you’re looking for that way. You will continue to find yourself feeling mistreated and not being loved the way you want until you learn to truly love yourself and stop using “love” as a means to control people. When people truly love you, it doesn’t mean you own them. It doesn’t mean you get to manipulate them and emotionally drain them. (A word to those of you who are in relationships with manipulative people – don’t let the fact that you love them control you either). If you’re with someone who’s dealing with a narcissistic personality they will try and control you by avoiding responsibility for their bad behavior. It’s never them. They’re always trying to blame someone else for not doing what they want. Sick. They’ll often use the silent treatment to control the narrative, which is one of the most violent forms of emotional abuse. They’ll resort to all kinds of childish behavior to get you to apologize or in their mind to keep the peace with them.

Newsflash; There is never any peace with a manipulative person. They’ll use a method call stonewalling where they get distant with you and refuse to discuss things with you that would be helpful to see a resolution with the sole purpose of maintaining their stance or posture of assumed control. They ultimately want you to bow down to them. PLEASE Don’t fall for it. Stand your ground and continue to love YOURSELF. As you can see they aren’t loving you. As a matter of fact what they’re doing is the opposite of love. Narcissistic people get very hostile and upset with you when you uphold a boundary or a standard when it comes to how you want to be treated. Might I remind you that the only people who get upset with you when you say no or don’t let them have their way with you are people who are emotionally immature and manipulative. If you teach them they can do this to you, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of manipulation and ABUSE!

That is exactly what it is – flat out ABUSE! Don’t let anyone invalidate your right to be heard, valued, treated well and respected. Sadly, I’ve experienced this and see it too often. Too many people aren’t able to think clearly, be creative, stay effective in their area of expertise because they’re living their lives subjected to hostile and abusive treatment. There’s even a scripture in the Bible basically saying that it’s better for a man (person) to live on the rooftop than to live in a house with a nagging woman (man, boy or girl). Insert *Preach! This is not a good way to live. Not constantly being subjected to emotional witchcraft, guilt and negativity. That’s psychological warfare. No home, family, work, church, social environment should be set up to beat you down mentally. Some of you aren’t depressed, you’re just hanging out with people who make you sad and steal your joy.

Today, I encourage you to take a sabbatical from anything that drains your joy, peace, creativity and hope. In exchange, I want you to make up your mind to be happy and free. Free to say no or yes. Free to agree or disagree. Free to come or go. Anything else is bondage. When you’re noncompliant with a narcissist, it is sure to be followed by hostility and punishment. This, if you asked me sounds like a prison sentence. Relationships are not meant to be that way. At least not healthy ones. Take an inventory today on your own life. You’re in a much better place to help people soar when you guard your heart and get your own mind right. Here’s the list of things I ain’t got time for,..abuse, manipulation, control, nice nastiness, mind games, guilt tripping, insincerity, fakery,….none of THAT!

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#blogger #goingplaces #blog #travel #takeoff #sabbatical #guard #abuse #run #standyourground #nototoxicabuse #backfrommysabbatical

Flying Away From Abuse

Our assignment is to help people soar! To help them take off and go places! Our assignment is to help people get their wings back. Where life and circumstances have broken them and blocked their will to get up, we are here to help people HEAL! At least I know I am. But sadly I’m noticing the more transparent people (like me) are about their story, the more the cult aka dysfunctional tainted community, family, work environment, church system tries to blackball, silence, ignore, shun, minimize and inflict more pain on them. It’s this mafia mentality in almost every arena. It’s gross!

Just because you make it seem like you have it all together, doesn’t mean you get to use a bunch of big words, flash your credentials and call people dumb or even use a bunch of religious jargon to put down and insult people who are not where you are, or who are processing real pain and trauma. Even your silence when someone says they’re confused, they don’t understand or they’re hurting is cruel, unbelievable and awful. It’s spiritual malpractice to see a person in pain and be a person who’s equipped to help them and not do anything. Not only that, it’s condescending, belittling and rude. It’s insensitive and emotionally abusive to think you’re better than anyone. But yet, I receive lately so many inbox “interventions” and fake hugs and sarcastic words of encouragement that are just masking self righteousness! It’s mind blowing, belittling and rude. I’m not sure what it’s doing for people when they approach other people as if they are better than them. I don’t know, maybe it makes you feel grandiose, superior and more spiritual than the rest of us mere humans. If you asked me, it actually makes you look even more disingenuous, mean and cruel.

See, where people are is where they are. Some people have been through some really traumatic events. And those experiences are very real for those of us who have gone through them. So even if you think you can’t relate, it still doesn’t give you the right to try and invalidate the pain of someone else or make fun of those of us who have been through horrible experiences. And to make matters worse, those of you who use your knowledge, wisdom or even the scripture as a means to minimize another person’s pain, that’s even more insulting. Believe it or not; people who are working on total healing have knowledge, wisdom and even know God too. So, to tell us to get over what hurt us, or to even try to judge our relationship with God or our intellect because we haven’t healed fast enough for you,…..proves how abusive you have become. It always shows how ineffective you are with all your expertise when you dishonor who we are. Shouldn’t someone with all your knowledge know that’s no way to help heal someone? If you were really such a great man or woman of God, you would be able to see how to help support those of us in need. But no, you’re too busy being superior. Here’s an idea – Wouldn’t it be nice to actually be a kind friend, brother or a sister to someone who you consider beneath you? Maybe that’s asking for too much with you and all your fine constituents busy putting on your events, conferences, services and photo shoots and doing such notable things. Maybe, just maybe helping mentor and encourage and support people who you pretend to care for would actually make a better impact than trying to prove you’re so great and wonderful. See, I hate to burst your bubble but doing that would actually help. Doing that would also mean taking time to discern that someone is struggling in the area of genuine support. That would also mean you getting off your high horse and being sincere for once and having a difficult conversation with someone like me who’s trying to understand how people who are supposed to be nice are so mean. How people who are supposed to represent Jesus don’t seem represent Him at all outside the pulpit.

So, this is exactly why I left the tainted system. This is why I left plastic conversations where people act happy to see you but they are just putting on a show. This is why I left rooms where people are saying one thing with their mouths and another thing in their heart. See, if you’re like me you can feel it. Even when it comes to family and friends and your circle. I can no longer surround myself with people who want to play mind games and act nice nasty. I’m not interested. I am now officially a part of no denomination. I am no longer down with anyone or anything that forces me to force myself to smile, to have to go along and pretend in anyway. I’m not part of the cult. I’m drawn to genuine connections with people who don’t tolerate me anymore. That’s why I am free to even express myself without fear of who will accept me and who won’t. More than anything, I accept me. God accepts me. What a feeling of peace and liberty. To know that God is helping me to soar and go places other people could never take me. I’m not down with any type of abuse and you shouldn’t be either. Whether it’s Family abuse. Friend abuse. Work abuse. Spiritual abuse. Psychological abuse. Count me out. I’m going somewhere great and it doesn’t require me participating in small talk or doing any fake smiling. I’m flying far away from abuse.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #blogger #goingplaces #blog #people #mentality #travel #mindset #leftthecult #leftthesystem #abuse #flyingawayfromabuse

Don’t stop soaring when people GHOST you!

Fall is probably my favorite season of them all! It’s a Take Off kinda of time in life for me every year! I always feel especially excited and extra grateful during this season. I usually reflect on the year a lot but even more around this time. I take my victories in and smile and even honor the fact that I didn’t give up. That I didn’t let discouragement stop me from trying. I intentionally celebrate my wins, my accomplishments and honor the efforts I made, even the ones that didn’t exactly work out the way I had hoped. I celebrate my failures too because it takes courage to keep trying after what seems to be a failed attempt. I think it’s also an important time of year where I purposely evaluate my relationships. I think about who’s been there for me and do what I can to honor them. I make it a point to almost fight my friends and family when it comes to paying for dinner or lunch. I always want to be able to tangibly bless those who are a blessing to me, even in the small way of feeding them. I consider during this season those who I’ve made sincere attempts to support and be there for. I ask was this a good investment of my time and wisdom? I never want to be naive or wasteful with the resource that I consider myself to be. That’s not being boastful or cocky. It’s true. I am a good friend and realize I deserve that back from people. I consider my presence valuable and anyone who doesn’t share that sentiment, I with nothing but love (self love) withdraw myself from being as accessible in their life. I never want to sweep the obvious under the rug. Especially when it comes to those people in my life who repeatedly ghost me in my greatest time of need. Let me explain.

First of all, I’m not at all what you would consider to be a needy person. On the contrary, I’m pretty independent to the point where some people are often offended by my individuality and independence! Back to my point. When a person ghost you, it means they disappear on you. They withdraw. They become distant and vanish. If you consider the intent behind it, it becomes even more of an issue of integrity and if you’re going somewhere great, this ghosting some people do on you deserves you doing some further investigation into the reason why they’re doing it.

When I was talking to my therapist the other day I brought this whole “ghosting” subject up to her. I told her I’m starting to feel some kind of way by people who say they’re with me and “for me” ghosting me. She calmly looked at me and said “Sherry, I know you well enough to know that anyone in your life who’s ghosting you lately is clearly afraid of you and your growth and your intentionality to be a more authentic you!” She went on to say that my security in who I am can be intimidating and that’s why people that seemed like they understood me are disappearing. They’re ghosting me because I’m getting more comfortable in my skin and that’s scaring them. I was literally sitting there shocked, but I also knew she was spot on right. Maybe the truth is I didn’t want to accept the harsh reality that my growth is frightening to some people.

It made me think how so many people are content with a version of you and I where we are needy and insecure. Where our identity is still in question. Where we are still looking for a crowd to affirm us. Where we look to certain people for their acceptance and validation. Could it be that some people felt good about themselves when we seemed afraid and lacked confidence when it came to our goals and speaking our truth? Think about how many people get their “rocks” off of thinking they are your source of support whether it’s, financial, emotional, physical, ….it’s crazy! To me supporting people should come from a genuine place. It shouldn’t make you feel like you’re making someone when you support them. Support should be intended to help build someone else, not your self esteem. But some people only support you because they think no one else will. They soothe their sick minds by thinking “I’m the only one helping them!” That is until they see other people jumping on board and being a blessing to you. Then they get offended by the fact that your support system is expanding. And that’s when they GHOST YOU!

See, some of these people you been surrounded by like the version of you that’s not getting stronger or better. They like you not having your act together or having people who actually believe in you around you. They like that because they identify with it. You know the old saying “misery loves company.” But as soon as you start going progressing and doing better, those same people take your advancement like it’s an insult. That’s why as soon as you go back to school, church, therapy, dating, enjoying your life or whatever it is where you were getting the strength you needed to pull yourself together,…they get scared and then ghost you.

Some people are scared of you not needing them anymore. They’re afraid of you becoming successful without their help. My advice to you is don’t waste another moment looking for people who ghosted you. Their ghosting you is not even about you anyway. It’s really about them and their feelings of inadequacy. Anyone who would ghost a friend or family member when they should be there cheering them on is not only scared but scary if you asked me. A person who doesn’t back the people they claim to love is someone going through some serious personal issues and instead of being angry with them and confused, let this article remind you that people are running from you because they’re afraid of what you represent. You represent resilience! You represent courage and faith! You represent confidence in the face of adversity and a inner bounce back that they can’t relate to. I’m proud of you. Keep going. Don’t let the people who ghost you get you spooked. If you’re an entrepreneur and your business is struggling and you expected support from people who are ghosting you, get your focus back and realize your vision is not contingent upon people who are afraid of your potential. Go forward anyway. Don’t let them stop you or distract you. Today is a great day. It’s a great season and even if you got ghosted by them, never let it discourage you or stop you from elevating and moving forward.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #ghosted #somepeopleareafraidofyou #blog #blogger #intimidatedbyyou #mentality #mindset #go #fly #destination #people #travel