therealestlifecoach.com

i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

I see people all the time who need to prove a point. People who need to be seen. They have something to prove to everyone around them. Its evident because they can’t do anything without Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. They have to post it, announce it, photograph it,..it’s never good enough until they document it and get some likes and comments. They can’t do anything without an audience. Their insatiable need to be relevant is unending. It’s like a constant cry for attention! See me. Validate me. Notice me.

See, I believe it’s one thing if you’re actually doing something purposeful and you get noticed for it. But if you’re just doing stuff to be seen or to stunt on your haters, you need to grow up. Someone needs to love you enough to tell you that you’re trying too hard.

If you’re really doing something that’s impacting the earth, everyone who needs to know is going to know. People won’t be able to ignore what you bring to the earth when it’s born out of a place of destiny and not desperation. If I’m supposed to do something great, there will be a people that are drawn to it who are excited about what I’m bringing to life. They won’t be able to thrive or survive without it. But, if what I’m doing is nothing more than a carbon copy, repeat and a duplication of something that inspired me that I saw somewhere else; everyone will know that too.

It boils down to this. What are you doing that’s a burden to you versus what you’re doing to prove a point. These are two totally different motivations. Creative minds are always creating, but you know the difference between a good idea and a God idea. One is a burden, the other is just a source of fun. The burden won’t let you rest until you do it! The other one can stay on the shelf collecting dust. The burden is the one you keep at even if you don’t get compensated. It literally points to why you’re here.

This flight called life gives you and I the amazing opportunity to travel anywhere. With that being said, where have you been and what still burdens you to see in this life? What dreams do you have that still keep you awake because they still burden you to make them a reality? What haven’t you gotten done yet because you’re too lazy and too distracted to finish? What is still not a reality because you refuse to mature and handle your business?

Kids get asked over and over again when they’re little “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This is really an important question and I think it’s one older people ask children so much because they didn’t realize how important that was when they were younger. Like what do you really want to be? You! Not your family. Not your mother or your father. Not your village or community! You!

Interesting enough even when you look at the life of Jesus, everything he did was intentional. Jesus made the decision not to follow his earthly father Joseph in doing the family trade. He went for his heavenly father’s calling. Preach! He literally chose to grow up and do what the voice on the inside of him was calling him to do. Insert WOW!

Most creative people I know struggle with this same dilemma. What do I do? Do I take the path my family says is best for me? Do I take up the major in college I want, or what everyone is telling me to take up? Do I do what pays the bills or do I listen for the voice of the Father for my life? What is my purpose and who’s voice should I listen to the most? This is another reason why you should respect your parents but don’t make them into your God. Develop a relationship with God for yourself.

What do you want to be when you grow up? You! Not everyone else. You.

When you stop needing the approval of others and cease to feel the need to be included and validated by “them” to do what God has called you to do, that’s when you’re ready to take off. I know you’re saying, but how am I going to fund what I’m burdened to do? Where will I get support from if I stop making my family happy? Newsflash; Jesus didn’t get a lot of support from his so called people on earth either. All his power came from Heaven!

I don’t mean to get all churchy on you. But the Bible says Jesus came to his own and his own received him NOT. And you thought it was only you that was dealing with this. Naw.

The moment I stopped waiting to be accepted by the cult- ure and community I come from, The Father started increasing my anointing, favor and blessings. There is more in you if you just stop relying on and trusting in people more than you do God. God wants to take you somewhere great. You just need to stop waiting for perfect conditions to take off. If he’s in the pilot seat, you’re going to get to your next level. He’s going to take you somewhere you couldn’t have taken yourself in your own strength.

Take off! It’s time to do what you’ve always wanted to do. It’s time. You’re all grown up.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #traveltips #goingplaces #tripping #jesus #thefather #greatplans #nextlevel #destination #blog #blogger #growup #support #family #friends #people

Have you noticed how some people try to be your friend in private but avoid you when it comes to showing support and love in public? Some people are Clowns 🤡

It made me think how sad it is that so many people out here these days are so insincere, deceitful, fake and phony. Please don’t let these clowns fool you. See if you have to do all that when it comes to me, I’ll pass. No need for people in my life who are so ridiculous and duplicitous. I notice it a lot. Especially in church settings. Some of these people have such a pseudo spiritual persona. It’s sickening. I wonder what they gain from telling people they enjoyed the solo or the message when all the while they’re posting them on their social media and laughing at them when they walk away. People will make fun of your church, your fliers, your efforts. So mean. Yet they love shouting and having a form of Godliness. See, it’s one thing to laugh and have fun. But to do it at the expense of people who are trying their best. Naw. You’re not even a moral person. Even at the worst presentation, there is no doubt always something you can find that’s praiseworthy. You can’t say nothing nice? It really says a lot about a person who puts on for people yet on the inside, their real heart is sooo opposite. That’s a scary clown if you asked me!

When people from the cult- ure I come from say things like “you minister in such a unique way!” Usually I decode the language. I call it churchese. It’s like a fake way of saying something nice nasty to basically insult a person without overtly being rude. Most of the people you would expect me to “Fellowship” with, shout a lot and dance and speak in tongues the entire time and theres nothing wrong with that. But they think we aren’t as saved as they are because our style of worship is different and it’s not as much theatrics on the regular. So that makes us unique. I’m so glad I’m unique. Meanwhile, many of our critics are a carbon copy of the celebrity favorites. But me, I’m different and proud to be.

See, if there’s any advice I could give my real life coachable friends it’s this. Please be different. In a sea of people trying to duplicate the gift they see in someone else, PLEASE BE YOU! There’s this self righteous attitude in many people that if you don’t do things the way they do them, you’re not doing it right. That’s the same way the Pharisees and The religious leaders looked at Jesus. They didn’t know who He was. Most church people wouldn’t like Jesus if he walked into their gatherings. Ha!

You and I happen to be the same way. Constantly surrounded by a mass of people who don’t know who you are. That’s why they don’t know how to handle what you carry. They have no idea who validated you and affirmed you to be different. Made me realize that a lot of people stuck on the bandwagon of “sameness” really are inspired by those of us who are not afraid to walk in our difference. That’s why they show love to us in private only. It’s not our fault they’re not courageous enough to be different too. It’s not our fault they’re still trying to fit in with the crowd. Keep being you. Don’t even take offense by their fakery.

Some of these pretenders who wear these two faces are some interesting individuals. They can even have some of the most amazing personalities. They’re friendly. At least that’s how they act in your face. They’re encouraging and say a lot of positive things for the crowd, but when they get around the people who they feel they can take their mask off with; that’s when the real them comes out. It’s scary. Some of the people who act like they’re the sweetest people on earth are the ones who will rip the fur off of you in private. They say all the right things in public though. Never mistake their words or their smiles for anything more than a veneer.

Veneer – an attractive appearance that covers or disguises someone or something’s true nature or feelings.

When the actions don’t match up with the words just know you’re dealing with a bonafide clown. Don’t take it personal. They’re just not ready to deal with their warped sense of self. To present yourself one way in front of people that is not in alignment with your authentic self,… that’s a clown.

These Noble Narcissist know how to play games. They love to put on a good show for whatever audience they’re trying to win. But the main reason they’re called two faced is because they work more on their public persona than they do their character. It’s amazing how we all have character flaws but not many of us are brave enough to admit we have them. That’s the problem with religion. It is often a bunch of people with problems gathering and pretending they’re perfect. That’s not relationship with Jesus. That’s the reason people end up killing themselves, cheating on their spouse or overdosing in a hotel room with a prostitute. Because somewhere along the way, someone told people to put on a face and deny themselves for public approval. They lose their sense of self and stop being honest. They no longer are free to admit they’re hurting when they’re hurting. Someone told these people that in order to be considered “good” they should allow people to dishonor them and act like it’s ok.

That is not how we get down in the world of the realest life coach. If I’m hurt or angry, I’m not masking it for anyone. You are going to have to deal with it and understand my life is not some movie or sitcom for people to watch and weigh in on. You don’t have to agree with everything I do. You don’t have a right to be all up in everything I do either. It’s my life. I’m not a clown and this is not about your entertainment. I’m not living my life based on pleasing anyone but God and even when I come up short (which is often) He still accepts me. Insert Tears.

Most people who suffer from the pressure of presenting a perfect public persona never find themselves in atmospheres or environments where they’re free enough to share their real heart with people. Most people are programmed to mask and that’s why they’re so two faced. If you continue to waste your life trying to present perfection to other people prepare to wear yourself out emotionally. When you are so fake that you never share the way you actually feel about things because you’re too busy living up to your audiences expectations, prepare to snap. When you are someone who would never tell anyone anything that would shake your false image of perfection, you’re acting like a clown.

And we wonder why this society is so medicated, depressed, sad and fake! If you asked me it’s because too many people are following a script, playing a role and pretending to be what their parents, family, friends and church expects them to be. What if you played a role for most of your life and looked at yourself in the mirror one day and realized you had become a full fledge clown!?

What if you decided you’re tired of amusing everyone? What if you decided you’re tired of making everyone laugh at your own expense? What if you made the courageous decision to exit the stage and stop being a part of the performance? What if you stopped participating in a production directed by other people and their plans for your life? What if you finally did what you wanted and not what everyone else expected you to do? What if you told the people you love that it hurts to see them living like a clown too?! What if you all got out of the clown car and took off the costume and started living for real?

Today is a great day to stop being a clown and stop entertaining clowns 🤡

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #clowns #stopbeingaclown #blog #blogger #goingplaces #people #mindset #mentality #entertaining #bereal #genuine #fake #costume #travel tips

If a person wants to do something, nine times out of ten, they will. They’ll make time for whatever they want. They’ll find the money for whatever they want. They’ll make the changes they need to get what they want. That is if they want it bad enough. The point I’m making is, if you genuinely want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to try to get it. You know, you’ll stop at nothing to get something that you actually value. You’ll even stop doing things that stand between you getting what you want. And even though it’s not that easy to do, you will do all you can to try.

What I’m noticing more than ever these days is people are just NOT trying. They’re saying they are, but we all know when someone is putting forth the effort and when they’re not. What’s that old saying “Where there’s a will there’s a way.” It’s really true. Even when you consider that it’s almost a brand new year. What’s stopping you from your transformation? See, anything you say you want to work on is within your reach. The real question is WHAT RADICAL CHANGES ARE YOU STILL UNWILLING TO MAKE TO SEE A NEW REALITY?

Who needs to go? What mentalities in you need to go in the trash? Who’s in your ear and what are they saying that’s making you comfortable in your mess? I remember when my oldest kid was a toddler. All of a sudden, he started becoming agitated and uncomfortable with a soiled pamper. Whereas before, a pamper full of crap didn’t bother him, now he was not okay with it. His face would express discomfort and uneasiness. He would walk funny and aggressively do things to get that pamper off of him. That’s when I made the courageous decision to stay in the house the entire weekend and get him into big boy pants and out of pampers. I realized it was going to be a job. To get him out of this habit was going to require some new systems and regimens. The same is true for you. You can’t expect to change a crappy life and keep doing what you’ve always done. What needs to change for you to experience a new life, maybe not free of crap, but at least it won’t be on you?

After an entire weekend in the house filled with victories and defeats, it worked. In three days my kid got it. He figured out in 72 hours that if he went to the potty, he wouldn’t have to walk around with crap on him anymore. Preach!

I draw my advice for my real life coachable friends from this lesson with my kid back almost 30 years ago. If you don’t want to walk around smelling, feeling and carrying your crap, learn where to drop it off and keep it moving.

Develop a daily discipline that keeps you from ever getting comfortable living in mess another day. But, if you want to rationalize carrying your mess around with you, that’s your decision. But those of you who are sick of being the toxic one who’s always in the same drama, chaotic relationships and mess, do something different. Change yourself. What a concept.

If you don’t change yourself, you will constantly be at the mercy of other people. You’ll be sitting around uncomfortable waiting for “them” to come and clean you up. Aren’t you too old for that? You’re way too old to be taking a dump on yourself and expecting the people in your life to rescue you or better yet pretend they don’t smell it.

Quit stinking up the atmosphere with your crap. This is the beginning of a new weekend. Stay in the house and work on you instead of going around everyone with your smelly circumstances pretending as if you don’t have a load of crap on you. Get yourself together and when the weekend is over, hopefully you will have a better strategy when it comes to getting closer to your life goals. At least at the end of 72 hours, I hope you will have figured out how to change yourself.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#chrisgrant #goingplaces #takeoff #changeyourself #pampers #growth #mindset #mentality #therealestlifecoach #people #seventytwohours #theweekend #crap #atmosphere #quit #blogger #blog

I wonder if I went into a hospital and told them I wanted to operate on people, would they let me. Me, with no medical degree! Maybe they would let me if I told them how nice I am. Maybe they’d let me do it if I reminded them about the grace of God. Maybe that would work. Isn’t that the same crap we bring up when we want to do things we aren’t qualified to do! We try and manipulate other people into letting us have our way even though we know we don’t have the skill set needed to do the work with efficiency and integrity.

What if I walked into the Mercedes dealership near my house and told them I wanted to work on the cars of their regular high paying customers. Do you think they would let me fix the cars of their loyal customers without proving I’m competent? Nope. The only place we think we can walk in and do whatever we want is the church. We just open the door and let unqualified people do stuff they aren’t good at. We let people who refuse to be trained and accountable get up and do serious jobs without any question.

It’s amazing that our criteria is soooo unremarkable. We let people sing who don’t even know the songs. We let people get up and teach who don’t even know what they’re talking about. We let those who don’t get along with others well handle broken people who come through our doors hurting. If you asked me it’s not a good way to take off. It’s actually insane to have people who don’t have the heart, or capacity to sit in positions where they handle people who are in such a vulnerable place. Yet we let those who don’t have the skills to help build a strong and stable community steer the ship and wonder why it’s not going anywhere.

While I was drinking my coffee this morning I got more and more concerned about the state of the church. What’s going to happen if we keep letting things go down this way? Are we going to get a different result if we keep doing the same things we’ve been doing? No! Of course we need to give people a chance to volunteer and gain confidence when it comes to their gifts and all. But how much authority should a person have when they don’t know what they’re doing? How much ownership should we give to people who don’t even think they need to improve in their area of leadership!? Most of these people don’t think they need to do better. Most of the people in charge of things seem to be fine going along being unremarkable.

Church has sadly become one of the only places where we continue to put the most incompetent people in positions of power and then wonder why we have no impact. I’m shocked we’re shocked! I’m surprised we’re surprised. When people take so little time to prepare for things and they get up and choke. Why are we shook when people don’t come back to our churches if we never improve anything? Are we ever going to take responsibility for our effort or lack thereof? How many times are we going to blame our incompetence on the devil. Really?

Is it the devil or is it the simple fact that you didn’t do anything to make what you were supposed to be doing remarkable? Like at some point, shouldn’t we take responsibility for our ratchet behavior and raise our standards? Like really, just because we like people or think they’re so nice, does that mean they’re qualified to lead, help, sing, teach, cook, handle finances, handle administrative duties….. I think not.

Recently, I made the decision to have a greater say in how things I’m in charge of flow. I’ve ceased to just let whatever people want to help out with happen. I need to know is this going to be done excellent and believe it or not, some people are offended by that. Mostly the unremarkable.

I stopped letting “helpful” people surprise me with what they come up with at the last minute. Newsflash; we all know you didn’t put anything into that!

The results of taking back leadership over things that continually fall apart when given to well intended people is, it’s been a lot better.

See, I’ve found that “well intended” people will “help” you however they want to and then get mad when you say that’s not how you want it done. This brings me to my next point and that is, you don’t have to take whatever people want to give you. Insert churchy organ music right here. There is a tendency in manipulative people to make you feel bad for having standards and expectations. That’s a real thing. But you will not guilt trip me for wanting the help you give me to be excellent.

Watch. Mark my words. As you raise your standards, some people will try to make you feel bad for expecting them to help you with some level of excellence beyond their typical buffoonery. And trust me, when you say no to the way they want to mishandle your vision or their poor treatment of it, or you, they will try to paint you out to be some kind of villain. Ha! That’s funny! Tell them, Nice try; but you can’t manipulate those of us who are going places. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for having standards. You have every right to ask people to help you how you expect to be helped.

There’s an old saying “ I can do bad by myself!” Seriously! No one needs you claiming to be helping and your help is all sloppy and tacky. If you’re going to help someone, please check your attitude at the door. No one needs the support of someone acting all extra and being all inconsistent and rude. How you going to be helping me and mistreat me at the same time? No thanks. If you’re going to do something for someone do it right. Be on time. Work with excellence. Help them in a way that makes things easier for them. How do you call yourself helping them and they have to go behind you and fix all your “help.” That’s not the sign of competent help.

Moving forward, make it a point not to just take help from just anyone. Don’t be so thirsty for support that you just take anything folk want to give you. Even when you find good supportive people, make sure they’ve demonstrated a capacity to remain teachable because you need people around you who see the importance of keeping a right heart. Some people do tasks for so long that they become haughty and think they’re better than they really are. This is not an attribute of someone with a teachable heart.

When seeking support for your vision, plans, next level, dreams,…..

Don’t work with anyone who’s dealing with low self esteem. They are too dangerous to have around and instead of being helpful they will make everything about themselves and their insatiable need for affirmation. You don’t have time for that. Adults have to take the time to work on themselves before they can be beneficial to someone else. Only work with those who are available and accountable as well. You don’t have time to be begging your help to help. At the end of the day, don’t ever release unremarkable people to represent your remarkable vision and your remarkable God. They’ll frustrate the heck out of you.

If they want to do whatever they want to do, release them to be unremarkable somewhere else! As for you, keep going forward and never let anyone help you settle into being unremarkable.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#bewareoftheunremarkable #help #goingplaces #traveltips #takeoff #people #mindset #mentality #blog #blogger #unremarkable #support #therealestlifecoach #church #excellent

2019 has taught me a lot. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that no one is powerful enough to steal my joy. Insert praise break and tears.

Sure, there have been a lot of situations that could have shook me to my core, but they didn’t. Had another emotional moment when I thought about that. When I realized that the challenges I faced this year didn’t break me. That even when I experienced hard times I still didn’t stop. I didn’t give up. See, that’s what I’m talking about. Sure, I’ve been devastated, disappointed and frustrated a time or two in 2019, but there was nothing powerful enough to stop me from shining.

At our church women’s fellowship last weekend, they had us write a letter to ourselves. The letter was to be placed in a time capsule for us to open next year. While others were struggling about what they would write to themselves, I immediately wrote “I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!” When I began to think about my life from a place of victory instead of defeat, I started smiling and feeling better than ever. To think that over the past year there were goals and plans that I didn’t allow to stay on the shelf. I kicked those goals in the butt! I pushed myself to finish assignments and work out my dreams even in the face of what sometimes seemed impossible. There were times when I didn’t feel like pushing. There were moments along the way when it didn’t seem like my vision was going to work, but I kept going. And that’s the encouragement I have for my real life coachable friends today. Keep going.

Don’t ever give up on your plans. You can accomplish great things if you determine in your heart and mind that you’re well able to get everything you dreamed of done. Eliminate every silly excuse you make for your complacency or laziness. Amp up your creativity and get it done. Don’t even wait for 2020. Start now. I’m screaming keep going in the bleachers and I’m not the only one. Focus on your help and not your haters. You got this. Keep going.

Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #traveltips #people #mindset #mentality #keepgoing #destination #dreams #goals #blog #blogger #heal #execution #manifest #mindsetunstoppable

The last time I was on the plane the flight attendant assigned to our zone was clearly not there to be helpful. Of course she showed up, dressed in her uniform and she appeared to be working, but everything she was doing was robotic. She was cold and very disingenuous. She wasn’t serving anyone with a spirit of hospitality and care.

As I was sitting this morning drinking my coffee, I realized that it’s becoming increasingly normal for people to pretend to be sincere when it’s obvious they aren’t. It’s not cool at all. Showing up and faking like you’re nice or like you even care. It’s whack. I personally don’t think anyone can expect to take off in life if they’re not willing to confront the real them. Like their heart posture and who they are when it comes to their private thoughts. Made me think even more why people pretend so much? Like, if you really want to help people, you do. You don’t talk about it. You just help.

The real issue with so many people we deal with is that they are not really trying to be helpful. There I said it. That’s the humongous elephant in the room. People are standing around us all the time claiming to be friends, family, loved ones, community,…but when we say we need help we find out they’re just bluffing. When a person says they’re there to help and nothing is ever done to be helpful, is that enough evidence for you? Doesn’t seem to be. Seems like you need to fuss, cry, vent, tweet and post about your pain and people still never move beyond fake concern. It’s almost shocking to see that good help is hard to find.

This made me think how much inner turmoil has to be going on within a person who spends their life surrounded by people who act like they’re there to help. Acting like their nice. Pretending to care. Trying to play sincere when they’re not. None of those are attributes of someone who’s going somewhere great!

My advice for my real life coachable friends is easy. Take a moment today and assess your own heart. Since we can’t control anyone but ourselves, we can control how we move forward. Are we really trying to be helpful when we say we are? Or are we just going through the motions or putting on a show when we offer our help to others? See, life is much better when people don’t have to figure out if your intentions are pure. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. But if you sincerely want to make something better for someone, GO FOR IT. This time when you go for it, really do the work necessary to actually be helpful and supportive. Don’t keep putting a minimal effort into “helping” all the while doing as little as possible to actually help. That’s not a good look. What it says about you is that you’re not a very good person and you’re more committed to a putting on an act than you are to really being helpful.

If you’re fortunate enough to have people who want to be in your life, try returning the favor and be an asset to them. Don’t shuck and jive and play games with people when they open up and share their vulnerabilities with you. Be real. And if they need help, help the people in your life!

Copyright ©️Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #takeoff #traveltips #sincere #actors #people #mentality #mindset #bereal #helpful #helping #supportive #support #everybodyshowedtheirtruecolorsthisyear #ineededthat

Disclaimer: I share none of my personal business for anyone to feel sorry for me. This is all for the sole purpose of inspiration and encouragement for someone who may be going through some kind of challenge today.

Last week my suspension dropped on my truck so my husband and I took it in for the mechanic to do a diagnostic. Needless to say, I was going to have to figure out another way to get around or be stuck at home all day. I thought it would be a simple one day fix for my truck, but the parts needed a day to come in so I would be without transportation for more than one day. Day one, I took a Lyft and Day two an Uber. The first day there were plenty of issues I had to deal with that if I knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have gone in that day. But I was determined to be the responsible person I am and not let this temporary situation bring me down.

The next day, I woke up remembering the day before and was tempted to contact my real life coachable clients and reschedule. But yet again, my integrity wouldn’t let me disappoint them or myself. What if one of them really needed their session with me that day? What if them seeing me could have made the difference in them pushing forward or throwing in the towel. See, that’s what happens when you live your life from a place of purpose. That’s when you don’t get to call out slick. You forge through whatever minor personal issues you’re having for the day in order to fulfill your life purpose. I was determined to stay faithful to my mission. I was convinced that I had to put my personal preferences aside and catch a ride into my office. So I did.

Long story short, as soon as I walk out of my front door, I somehow lost my balance and fell to the ground really hard. Everything I was carrying, my laptop, lunch, everything; along with myself was now sprawled across my driveway while my Uber driver sits there and watches me. One star rating for you buddy. Anyway, I eventually gather myself and get up and make my way to his car and go on with my day. I looked down and my knee was busted and bleeding. My adrenaline tho, that’s what kept me from dealing with the pain of the fall, at least until later. Some of y’all are living off of adrenaline and not dealing with your pain. That’s not good at all. That’s when I realized that incident was going to be a reminder that the effects of a fall don’t go away so easy. Preach!

Even though no one else remembers the fall, I do. I experienced it and even the healing process is personal to me. While others are looking at it from their perspective, no one feels what I feel. This healing process like anyone who has experienced something is taking some time. You see my point don’t you? Just this morning, while watering my flowers at home, I slipped again. Yep. I know, what’s wrong with me? That was my first reaction. I felt ashamed of myself for slipping again. But why would someone who’s had an accident or something they didn’t want to happen, why is our first instinct to feel bad about it? Is it fear that people will think you’re drunk, clumsy,…who knows. Made me think that shame and humiliation is probably a huge reason people don’t share their experiences with other people so easily.

This second time when I fell, it wasn’t a major fall but I bumped my knee. This time in the same spot where the scab that was forming got hit and torn. This new fall had actually disrupted the mending process and it’s literally like I’m starting all over again. But I’m not. My knee hurts again just like it did the day I fell last week, only this time it’s because of something new. Makes me think how easy it is to lump all our pain and issues into one instead of saying I’m hurting from more than one thing. Even during this holiday season, don’t let anyone shame you into hiding your pain. If you’re hurting from something that hasn’t healed shame on anyone for trying to mock you for that.

This morning after my second fall, I looked at my knee and saw new blood running down my leg just like it was last week. Only this time it’s a different situation. Allow yourself the time to grieve each experience and accept that you’ve been hurt more than once so it’s going to take time to get over it. Especially when you consider that this new slip and the trauma from it is in addition to a wound on an area that wasn’t healed yet.

This reminded me that it’s ok to hurt from a fall or a hit or a bump and that doesn’t mean you aren’t healing. As a matter of fact, you can actually be hurting because you’re healing. Insert tears.

In a cult-ure, especially religious cultures where people will shame you for expressing emotion or your humanity. Where people say you’re crazy or you can’t handle yourself. People will say things like you’re not spiritual if you’re not over something as fast as they think you should. Little do they know, you’re dealing with a new pain on top of an existing one and you’re still healing. My situation reminded me it’s ok to hurt as long as you’re still healing. There’s actually no time limit on when the pain leaves from a fall. There’s no time limit on how long it’s going to take to get over devastation but it sure helps to be around people who help you heal. Leave people alone who don’t know how to handle you in pain. If there’s anyone in your life and you know they are going through something painful help them or leave them alone to heal without your judgment and ridicule.

I haven’t put any bandages on my knee because I really want it to heal. I’ve found covering up our wounds doesn’t quite allow them to heal as effectively as they would if they were exposed to air which is life! Even though I was tempted to put a bandaid on my knee, I had to decide which do I want more? Do I want my comfort or my healing? I choose healing.

Trust me, there’s no guarantee I won’t fall again. And even if I protect the injured knee, it doesn’t mean I can’t experience pain somewhere else on my body. All in all, I am learning that healing is not an overnight process and that includes emotional and psychological healing too. I even asked myself if I had it to do all over again would I have gone into my office and met with my real life coachable friends if I knew I would have fallen that day? And honestly, my answer is yes. I help people who are in the kind of pain you can’t see like the pain from my fall. There are people dealing with wounds no one will ever acknowledge or validate and it doesn’t take one bit of the pain away from those living with it. So my life and what I have to offer is important. I can handle a little fall and I know it’s going to heal. As a matter of fact I am healing right now. Even writing this article for someone who needs what I’m sharing to help them along in their process of wholeness. Truth is, I refuse to live my life afraid of pain. All I can do is continue to be courageous and selfless when it comes to helping other people take off on this flight called life.

Copyright ©️Sherry Grant 2019

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