therealestlifecoach.com

i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

If you’re frustrated and feeling some kind of way right now, try NOT to make this about anyone else. Through my extensive “people research” over the years I’ve discovered that whenever someone is in their own way, they try their best to make it about someone else. Often people blame their spouse, parents, children, boss or pastor but the real issue is deeper. Does this sound like you? Sure it would be easy to snap your fingers and demand everyone around you behave in a way that makes you comfortable. But what would you learn!? How would that improve you and your character. How would you become a better person? If you’re putting all this energy in trying to force everyone around you to change so they can make you comfortable, what happens when it comes to you becoming a better version of yourself? You ever thought the discomfort you’re experiencing is a signal that you need to GROW. HEAL. TRANSFORM.

Lasting transformation is almost impossible without discomfort. I know. Who wants to be uncomfortable? But if you’re going anywhere in life, you’re going to have be uncomfortable. You’ll be uncomfortable in a new position, learning a new skill, meeting a new person, standing on a different platform. Get used to being uncomfortable if you’re becoming a better person. It’s going to be hard for you to see the changes you want in your life being comfortable. Therefore, demanding everyone around you to “act accordingly” is a cop out. It’s a lame excuse for you to bypass your inner work. It’s an easy way to push the blame on others and make yourself a victim.

Why would you want to live your life in that posture, as a victim? You think that’s an easy way out of taking responsibility for your own success? Well,…It’s not. You know when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror lying and telling yourself you’re not disciplined or strong enough to do the things you need to do to curate the life you dream of, you know that’s a lie. You are strong. You are gifted. You are anointed. And be honest, maybe you’re just scared and being afraid is uncomfortable but it’s not a good excuse to give up. I see so many people making excuses for their mediocrity. Some create their own confusion while they’re going to therapy, counseling or even church while remaining close minded and stubborn to the wisdom that’s being poured out. Others hang out with family and friends who relate to their trauma so much instead of being challenged by people who have been courageous and disciplined enough to heal from what’s held them down. At the end of the day, you can claim to be “comfortable” and at “peace” but you know when you’re lying to yourself.

Much of mankind’s misery is the lies we tell ourselves! We say we can’t knowing we didn’t really try. We say we don’t know when knowledge is right at our fingertips with a smart phone or relationship resource. I encourage you to get out of your own way. When it comes to the life you want- create it. Stop waiting to be motivated. Be disciplined. Make choices that are in alignment with the life you want. And if you don’t, please stop trying to be mad at the truth tellers in your life. We are not your enemy. You are.

Sherry

Copyright © 2022 Sherry Grant

A lot of what we have been calling love is more like control, manipulation, bratty behavior, intolerance, passive aggressiveness, dominating someone else. That really makes me sad. To see how much of what we call love is abuse, neglect, needing to be superior over others,… What happened here? When did we stop treating people the way we want to be treated? When did we think that it was ok to take the unconditional love someone has for us and use it to terrorize another?

My heart breaks for those who don’t have access to counseling, mentorship, healthy community because when a person is in the trance called “love” that’s not actually pure and healthy love they actually develop a belief that love has to hurt.

I have news for you today, love feels like love. I don’t care what you heard. The person who loves you from a place of abundance will handle you like you’re the precious worthy person you are. Don’t settle for less.

Sherry

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Copyright © Sherry Grant 2022

It’s been a minute since I blogged. It’s actually okay though. In the meantime I’ve been working and making impact and I also have learned that my worth is not found in how PRODUCTIVE I can be. Besides, I’ve been vlogging so that counts for something. I say all that to say this; I think it’s so easy for us to become so mechanical with whatever we do to the point where we stop enjoying our experience. We stop actually being present and living our lives. Anytime I’m tempted to let that mentality creep in, I do an automatic self check. I remind myself that I’m not what I accomplish.

Don’t get me wrong, accomplishments are great. They usually point to an area in your life where you stuck to something. Where you made up your mind to do “it” no matter how challenging it may happen to be. Accomplishments help us develop confidence in our skills. It helps other people see us as a credible person who knows how to follow through. The point I’m making is, it’s not the accomplishment that’s the true big deal. It’s actually the fact that YOU had enough personal integrity to stick with your goals.

Accomplishments are not who you are, but a reminder that when you put your mind to something – you are disciplined and wise enough to make the sacrifices necessary to get it done. Accomplishments help you see how impactful you are when you throw out all the jive time excuses and remember that you’re great even if you don’t always have the desired outcome.

My youngest kid is over in Ireland studying abroad. Insert standing ovation!

She made up her mind she wanted to go and put herself out there and asked for help. That to me is an even greater accomplishment than her going to Ireland. She asked for support something too many people go through life trying to prove they don’t need. Think about the ways in which you could be so much further along if you stopped being so preoccupied with how people view you. If you stopped caring about whether people perceive you as strong and independent and instead decided to be honest and vulnerable. That to me is character building and the biggest accomplishment ever. There is a huge difference between who you are, your character and integrity versus your resume and your accomplishments. Who you become and believe in your heart you are is the doorway to you accomplishing great things.

Today I encourage you to applaud you. Take time to honor who you are. Applaud your strengths and your weaknesses. And remember at the end of the day, you can do anything you put your mind to. You know all of the obstacles you have overcome. That to me is the most beautiful accomplishment ever 🙌🏽

Copyright © Therealsherrygrant