i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

I don’t do well pretending. I actually do my best to engage with others from an authentic and sincere place. Sometimes, this life goal and objective of mine can be quite daunting. In this plastic culture we live in, trying to remain real and honest with some of these jokers out here is hard. It can make having relationships with others extremely complicated, especially when most of the people you find yourself engaging with are those who choose to exist in a land called superficial. How many superficial people have you had to put up with today? I’ll wait.

I mean let’s be real, it’s not like you can just magically zap all the fake people away and put them on an island. That would be such a big place! I know it would.

Superficial people are everywhere. I just got a message from someone who never speaks to me publicly, but has the nerve to send me this friendly text message like we COOL! What? Bye Felecia! That’s superficial. I don’t do superficial. While I know how to behave myself and can be cordial in a public setting to almost anyone, don’t ever be dumb. I see you! You are not someone I consider a real one. If it was socially acceptable I would text back GO AWAY DUMB PERSON! I know what you’re thinking. She’s so immature. (Judge your mother unless you’re one of my kids reading this 🤣🤣🤣). No seriously, I can hear some of you. But this is the realest life coach blog, not the phoniest life coach. Maybe the person texting me today should start that one. I’m sure they would have plenty of followers. Seriously tho. If you never speak to me and make people think you’re my enemy, why would you even think it’s ok to text me. So fake. Go away! My body reacts adversely to superficial engagement like this. It makes me cringe. Disgusting!

There’s something that makes me feel soooo tired and exhausted when I’m speaking to someone who only wants to talk at the surface level. When there are apologies that need to be made, explanations that need to be given context to. Don’t come at me like we are going to be buddies when you haven’t handled me well. Now don’t get me wrong, not every person or engagement or conversation calls for a deep discussion about life, but most do. For me, people who choose to chew the fat over pointless topics, I have no problem with that. It’s just not my thing. I love being around people who care about more than low level relationships with no substance. I love people who care about others deeply and don’t wish to live in a place of pretense. I love people who are concerned with life and things that cannot be ignored. There is nothing pretentious about talking to people who understand the importance of saying sorry when they’ve wronged you. I love people who genuinely care about your feelings,.. yep I do have feelings and refuse to let other people invalidate them. I love people who take time to listen to the perspective and thoughts of others. I can’t do shallow, vain banter. It literally drains my energy.

Today, I invite you to take special notice of the real people in your life. The ones who energize you versus those who drain you! If you give authenticity out, the best thing you can do is find people who value it and give it back to you. Some of you are like me and your circle is getting smaller but the quality isn’t. Kudos to you for making the courageous decision to engage in relationships that are based off of more than titles, status and power. Look around. Check the people around you and make sure you’re taking off with people who will lift you and not drag you down.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #byefelecia #superficial #people #mentality #mindset #goingplaces #relationships #lookaround #blog #blogger #dmvblogger

There was this angel named Lucifer. He wanted to be like God, so he created a riff in Heaven trying to take away the shine from God for his own glory. He refused to give God credit for creating him,…This is how a lot of people operate today. I call it Demonic Inspiration.

Demonic inspiration leads to murder, hating, competition, comparison, ghosting, an inability to be genuine and supportive. This is a real thing. Some people are inspired by your take off but they won’t ever tell you. They try their best to downplay who you are. I’m even convinced those people who act like they’re cool with you but their behavior never matches their words or so called support, are DI (demonically inspired). You know who they are, you’re just too afraid to confront the truth. The truth is not hard to see when you’re ready to deal with it. There are some people around you who watch what you do intently and it gives them the inspiration to do what they do.

In most cases, there’s nothing wrong with this but not with the DI! Let me explain. If it’s a celebrity, most of these people who use you as their muse have no problem giving credit to them as their fav. They have no problem telling people about someone who’s famous, someone they can’t deny. But there’s a serious problem with people who think you’re still a secret or not at the top of your game yet, and they try to benefit off of that. In some cases they work hard to keep you a secret. They won’t support or tell people about you because they draw all their content from you. It’s definitely DI when they try to take off without celebrating you as a person who inspired them too. I’ll have people call me their mentor when it comes to me being a playwright, but they never come to my shows. That’s demonic inspiration. DI’s are the people who private message you asking for your help and resources. They’ll ask me “who does your sets?” “Who does your lights, costumes,…” They will blow up your email asking you for your secrets to your success and then in the meantime want to play it publicly like they didn’t get your support to get off the ground.

It’s disingenuous and fake. If you’re inspired by something you see from someone tell them, and don’t message them privately. Celebrate them publicly. Don’t try to keep people who inspire you a secret. That’s demonic and sneaky. This also speaks to your insecurity. There’s enough room for all of us to go to the next level, but when you refuse to express how much someone’s courage and creativity has inspired you, that’s not a good look for you. My real life coachable friends are not haters. They are not afraid to give honor where honor is due. There was this movie back in the day called Single White Female, and the girl got close to a woman she was inspired by only to try and clone her. It got really weird. That’s how you know it’s demonic inspiration. My advice for those struggling in this area – Get in the face of God and ask Him to reveal who and what He’s called you to do. I promise He will heal you. Then you won’t have to steal ideas from anyone and pretend they came from you.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #traveltips #clones #demonicinspiration

Everyone has something to say these days. Funny thing is, most of the people doing the most negative talk about others are doing much of nothing themselves. If you look at their sad little lives and the lack of fruit they bear, not much can be said of them. In my observation, the people who run their mouths the most criticizing and putting down those of us going places are people who have nothing much to show for themselves. Just straight up critical haters!!!

Even this week, critical people everywhere are ripping Tyler Perry to shreds for a movie he released. Listen how that sounds. They’re making fun of him for a movie he released. I wonder how many of them ever released a movie?! Ha. While I’m no Tyler Perry fanatic, I don’t hate on him or anyone for that matter. I give props to people doing what they do, especially at any level where they find themselves under the public scrutiny of haters.

When you think about Tyler Perry’s new movie, everyone has something to say. And now they’re not only talking bad about the new movie he’s released, but all of his work has been under attack. Meanwhile, he’s still rich and successful. Which leads me to my main point: NOT ONE HATER CAN TAKE AWAY WHAT YOU WORKED FOR WITH THEIR NEGATIVITY AND HATE. Let’s be real, most of these vocal haters have less than $500 in their bank account. No wonder they’re mad!

This also made me think about how many people have spoken negatively about me and the productions, blogs, messages and stage-plays I’ve released and it didn’t take anything away from me. It actually reveals how unfulfilled they are. Happy people don’t run around tearing down people who are taking off in life. This also made me think that most of these haters have never done anything close to what I’ve been able to do, so maybe their nonsense is a way to make them feel better about how unproductive they are.

Don’t let haters discourage you from putting out what you’re inspired to share. Don’t become fearful in the name of “perfectionism!” Keep producing greatness until everyone sees your gift. Some of you have slowed down or stopped or you rarely put out anything you’ve created because of fear of the toxic critics out there. Forget them. The ones who have the audacity to “joke” about your work have never had an ounce of the courage you have to do anything. They don’t have “it”. They’re not even on your level. These big mouth Monday morning quarterbacks are professional at nothing except spewing out superficial judgements and blabbing their mouths about things they have no real expertise about. They can’t do anything on the level of what they put you down for doing. They are literally speaking above their pay grade and have no right to say anything negative about you or anyone who’s sitting in a seat they have never sat in. Shame on these clowns who speak without credentials or experience.

My advice is simple to my real life coachable friends; pay no attention to the white noise. The rhetoric is nothing more than noise from people who have nothing of any substance and who have no impact on those of us who are going places. Let them talk, but refuse to waste time listening. When I hear these idiots talk about people doing things at a higher level than they ever will, I remove myself from their space. I want nothing to do with people who criticize and evaluate people and can’t do anything themselves. Ha! I realize it’s pointless and unnecessary to even try to get them to see how ridiculous they are. I don’t even wanna tell them how they are not qualified to say a word about people who are better than them. There’s a scripture in the Bible that says whatsoever things are lovely,..think on these things. So, with that being said, no matter how bad you think the work of someone else is, if you were actually someone of integrity and class and really going places you would find some kind of way to speak well of others. If you can’t do that, please know that you sound like a dumb hater. That’s not even the conversation of someone who’s going places. The loudest boos always come from the cheapest seats. The people who invest the least into others are usually the ones who’ve made the most insignificant investment. They don’t matter. PLEASE, Keep going and never let the critics stop you.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#goingplaces #therealestlifecoach #traveltips #mentality #mindset #takeoff #theloudestboos #cheapestseats #blog #blogger #dmblogger #pilot #destination #tylerperry

It was time for our flight to take off and the doors were being locked. That simply means no one else could get on the plane. It was too late. If we all took the necessary steps to get there on time, why should we have to wait on people who feel like they don’t have to arrive there on time too? Life is literally filled with people who actually think we should wait for them while they play around and make us late.

Nah fam! We are going somewhere great. Greatness is not achieved with people who don’t have discipline. You don’t arrive to great destinations thinking you’re entitled to anything. You must make the adult decision to grow up and behave like someone who’s prepared for the weight of the next level. If you can’t handle something simple like showing up on time and being accountable you aren’t ready for greatness!!!

Don’t play dumb. People don’t have to tolerate your immaturity. This is a new decade. The crap you did in the past is not going to give you anything but what you’ve always gotten. Demand greatness from the people in your life. If they can’t handle the weight that goes along with traveling in your company, that’s not your problem. This flight is about to take off. You can come with us or you stay with the unremarkable people. Whatever you decide you can handle it’s on you. I personally don’t have time for idiots where I’m going.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#idiots #therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #tips #mentality #mindset #blog #blogger

Some people are really controlled by darkness. It’s sad. To know that’s the way so many people are trying to get to their next destination not dealing with their darkness. It’s not the way those of us going places choose to handle things. It’s very toxic behavior. You can expect lies and manipulation from kids but the biggest liars and manipulative people I know are adults. Grown ups shouldn’t be walking around here hiding, unable to be their true self, creating scenarios and telling stories that aren’t real to avoid being honest and open. It’s evil even if you do it smiling. It’s really more than just them being obnoxious or rude. I’m so serious it’s wickedness at work!!! Some of these malevolent people we are trying to journey with have some serious darkness in their core. They lie, manipulate, deceive, play mind games. It’s disturbing, scary, strange,..and I’m warning you- don’t get too close to these kind of characters.

They can actually seem to be normal at times, but not for long and that’s where the confusion comes into play. They’ll even make you feel like you’re going crazy thinking you’re overreacting or being dramatic but you’re not. The problem with these individuals is the level of dishonesty and trickery that resides in them runs deep. I’ve recently found myself a time or two, second guessing my own sanity when dealing with these toxic people who enjoy being weird and off so much. They are master liars. And I’m sure like me, you don’t want to have to confront them all the time. It’s draining. You don’t want to have to call them on their crap and say “stop lying.” So what do you say when a manipulative person is reciting the lines they created and crafted in their script of deceit? You probably side eye them, but still play along.

They’ll generally say something clever that they rehearsed and you feel something is off, but you don’t have any proof, only your intuitive powers are screaming something’s not right. But you brush it off and say “Naw, they can’t be lying about that!” Turns out that malevolent people enjoy these types of shenanigans. They thrive off of chaos and confusion. They love getting you worked up. They enjoy being the center of imbalance and disharmony. They laugh at things that normal people don’t generally think is funny. Their sense of humor is very dark and off. They find ways to create unnecessary drama in every little thing because peace and calm are too much like right. They like sabotaging people and extending their hand all the while they have no intention on being a part of your journey genuinely.

I caution you to be more aware of these signs when you encounter them. It’s wicked. It’s malevolence. It’s not something you should play with. Take as much away from these experiences with these dark people. Learn from them and vow to never be that way. Ever! Assess yourself and whatever darkness you know is in your character, DNA, upbringing,…Simply refuse to participate in games and interactions where you find yourself being disingenuous. If you find it hard to be honest with people, try just saying you don’t want to go into details; but you can’t keep your commitment. That to me is much better than being fake and phony or telling lies. If you’re going somewhere great (and I pray you are) you’ve got to make a commitment to be an upright person. Sometimes, I really wish a liar’s pants would catch on fire or like Pinocchio their nose would grow every time they opened their lying mouths to tell another stupid uncalled for lie. I’m not even playing,.. it’s ridiculous the amount of foolery I encounter on a daily basis while trying to be the best and most genuine person I can to the people I’m flying with. But being good to people doesn’t guarantee that in return.

To my real life coachable friends: Please don’t make life hard for people who are an actual blessing to you. You’ll regret messing over good people when they are gone and had their fill with your mess. Make the courageous choice to fly on this flight with people on your level and those willing to grow. Elevate your mindset and demand that from the people around you. Be one who inspires us all to travel with the utmost integrity. That’s what you do when you confront your issues. Especially your own darkness.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #integrity #butterknifepeople #malevolent #ironsharpensiron #liars #pantsonfire #blog #blogger #mindset #mentality

It’s time to put people in their place. I’m so serious. Stop letting them walk all over you. Stop letting people disrespect you and pretend they don’t know what they’re doing is whack. Even the flight crew won’t take off until everyone, and I mean everyone is in their place and their seat is buckled. There’s no special allowances for people to get up and walk around and do what they feel like doing. No!

Everyone must be in their proper place in order for the pilot to take off. In the same way, there’s entirely too much at stake here on this flight called YOUR LIFE, to just let people do whatever they want. Your life and the lives of everyone around you are in danger the longer you keep letting people mishandle you and carry you anyway they choose. You keep going on this way, letting them takeover your life with your lack of boundaries, you will become bitter. We don’t want that for you so just put an end to the madness. You still have absolutely no standards. You keep letting people treat you any old way. That’s crazy and it’s your repeated toxic niceness that’s ruining you.

It’s gotten so bad for some of you now that you have convinced yourself that you’re not a people person. Well, that’s far from the truth. You are a people person! You’re just not a toxic people person. Repeat that with me “I AM NOT A TOXIC PEOPLE PERSON!”

I personally am not interested in sitting close to people on this flight who feel entitled to treat me like garbage and want to act like it’s okay. No ma’am. No sir. I will not allow anyone to dishonor me on this journey in the name of me being the bigger person. You can’t manipulate me that easy. Not even in the name of family, friendship, Christianity,..not happening captain. You will be put in your place. And before you think I’m going to be running around telling people off, don’t be dumb as my daughter would say. I am not wasting my energy physically, mentally and emotionally running around putting anyone in their place. I am merely creating firmer boundaries with everyone, especially toxic people. I won’t participate in the game playing. The hot and cold. The up and down. The in and out. I’m not doing the inconsistency of “oh, I’m ready to deal with you today and tomorrow I have this other crazy vibe.”

It’s time to go somewhere great! So let’s be honest; these toxic people and these relationships we keep giving another chance are not going to change. They will continue to be a thorn in your flesh until you put them in their place. Here’s my advice for my real life coachable friends today.

1. Make a realistic list today of the people who keep you from being amazing! The ones who make you wonder if they’re for you or against you. 2. Make a solid list of the people you aren’t sure about and then decide whether or not it’s worthwhile to keep them in place in your life. You don’t have to put up with crap. That is unless you like it.

After you put people in their place you can rest assure they will probably be pretty upset, but it’s better for you to be the chooser rather than waiting for people to choose you!

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2019

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #takeoff #traveltips #destination #putpeopleintheirplace #toxic #toxicpeople #pilot #mentality #mindset #blog #blogger