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Today is a great day. The idea of focusing on love is powerful. For the world to take a day and express love to the people that mean the most to them, I’m all for it. But, is that really what it’s become, or is it a day full of surface demonstrations where many of the biggest “lovers” are really just putting on a good show? Like are you really nice at home or is it just for the gram?

I don’t mean to sound cynical but isn’t it fake if you’re a terror to your “loved one” most of the time and then when it’s convenient for you, then you act like you have some sense? We really need to stop the madness. Otherwise, we should send some of these actors to Hollywood. They certainly could use some new faces on the big screen. My husband and I are often guilty of being too transparent when it comes to our relationship. But truthfully, people don’t know everything about our love story. It’s not their business. What they know is what we are willing to speak on. At the same time, we are not painting a picture of perfection by any means. We don’t always see eye to eye. We don’t always handle each other in a way that makes us proud, but we don’t treat one another bad. That’s a no no in our house. Our love story has had its fair share of hard times where we have learned how to treat one another better everyday. That’s our number one goal!!!! There’s no way on earth that we will ever walk around and smile and grin up in stranger’s faces and then come home and act all rude and disrespectful to each other. That’s not cool at all.

My advice for my real life coachable friends today and the rest of your days is – BE GOOD TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE THE CRAZY AND COURAGEOUS DECISION TO TAKE FLIGHT WITH YOU. You’re not perfect, so stop expecting that from someone else. Get your life together and stop being a jerk. It actually says a lot about your character when you mistreat the people who have committed their lives to being in relationship with you. Don’t be sadistic or callous with the people you say you love. As a mom, one of my life prayers is that whoever travels on this journey called life with my children; that they would treat them with kindness. One day you may have kids too. Hopefully, your kids find people that will treat them well too.

Be careful how you use this loaded word called love. The Bible says In 1 Corinthians 13- I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.

Please make sure your lack of love doesn’t cancel out all your cards and poems, fancy words and deeds this Valentine’s Day or any other day! Be real!

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #valentinesday #love #reallove #bekind #blog #blogger #people #mindset #mentality #

If you want to fly you have to let go of the things that weigh you down. Insert rolls around the floor and has a baptist fit! No seriously though, this is half the reason why so many people never take off. Carrying too much! Too many people’s opinions, criticisms, even suggestions. Some of this stuff is heavy and it’s difficult to go somewhere great with all this stuff on us. Sometimes the people you love are part of the problem when it comes to what’s weighing you down. You ever realize how toxic some people can be? Like forget how much you love them, are they good for your mental health? Do they uplift you or make you feel more confused and burdened and weighed down? It’s so not cool if your relationships are the source of all your tension and anxiety. They should be life giving. They should lift you and not drain you.

I challenged myself and a group that I coach to work on removing negativity from our conversations and thoughts for the rest of the week. Five days of no negativity. A fast from it and whatever makes you think negatively and feel bad. What a difficult task! See, no matter how motivated you are to stay free from negativity and toxicity, you can’t control what people say or do around you. So while some people mean well, they’re still being judgmental and critical when it comes to you. Why aren’t they like that with everyone else? What makes them feel so comfortable with you that they can just keep it so real? Some of your relationships have gotten so raw they’re no longer edifying, now they’re just negative. When you find yourself constantly fixing people rather than enjoying the journey with them, something is seriously about to go south.

So how do you navigate through your day, week, life without letting negativity get to you and take you off track?

You can try and be fake positive and smile and pretend to not be annoyed when you are. But that’s not successfully making it through a day without letting negativity get the best of you. How do you genuinely remain unbothered when people around you vex you? When they make it their business to compare you to others or jump to conclusions about you,.how do you stay in peace? I wish I had a better answer for you but – All you can do is work on you. That’s probably not deep or intellectual enough for some people, but it’s literally all I got. I’m seriously learning to remain real and show up as my authentic self no matter what anyone else does or feels about it. I have made a career decision to spend my days encouraging people. I coach and push people to their highest level of greatness on a regular basis. I make it a point to speak life and support others. Am I shocked when that is misconstrued and turned into something else? Sometimes Yes. But the cold hard truth is, some people will resent you for helping them. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve helped some people to the point where they have made me their adversary or opponent. At the end of the day, it is not my duty to fix people’s heads. I’m so determined NOT to take the bait of negativity. If you’re like me you are a spiritual person who’s discernment is high. I will often see more than I want to see. I’m learning to walk away from what I see and sometimes it’s a challenge. But I see me doing so much better. If you’re seeing that growth in yourself celebrate it. Growth takes time. We don’t get the way we are overnight so we won’t heal overnight either. Give yourself some grace. I am learning when it comes to negativity, bad vibes and shady intentions not to give it my attention anymore. Why should I waste my time on that when there is so much more I can be doing with my energy?

Life is too short for nonsense and negativity. Choose to release any ill will you have for anything or anyone that’s weighed you down. Forgive yourself and others quickly when you slip into that old way of thinking. I told the group I coach this past Tuesday night that I read somewhere where someone said Complaining is like praying to the devil. That woke me up! I therefore will not be doing any of that (complaining that is) about my life or anyone or anything for that matter. I am too blessed to be stressed and life is too good for me to dwell on anything negative.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #travel #takeoff #goingplaces #destination #complaining #forgive #nonegativity #fastfromcomplaining #fastfrombeingshady #fastfrombeingjudgmental #fastfrombadattitudes

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” – William Penn

Envy happens when you see somebody else experiencing something you’d like to have. Envy is not cool at all and is not the way me and my real life friends operate. We absolutely want the best for others, especially the people we care about. We want them to achieve their goals. Truth is our goals are not the same, which is another reason why envy is not part of our MO aka mode of operation.

It would be better for you to be inspired by the people you see taking off in life than wanting what they have. There’s something wrong when people sit around and discuss how you live and what you have like this is some kind of game or competition. That is not okay at all. If anything, we should be busy achieving something impactful with our lives instead of counting other people’s blessings. Why should it matter how often someone else gets to travel, go out to eat or do something exciting and fun? All this comparison stems from a place of negativity. It’s rooted in competition and rivalry. This is one of the main reasons why so many people who happen to be living their lives authentically are challenged in the area of quality relationships. Who is really genuinely happy for us? Who really is smiling a real smile when we share our plans and goals versus the ones pretending to be happy? People in this culture and even in our family and friend circles are often not being real and honest. Some of the smiles and congratulations they’re giving out are shallow and surfacy! Some of them are followed by sarcasm and shade. Some of the people you share your dreams with aren’t willing to admit that sometimes they’re trying to keep up with you rather than share life with you.

This is where the spirit of jealousy and envy is incubating in so many people’s heart. Jealousy is not a good characteristic. It says “I want what you have, and until I have it, you shouldn’t have it either.” This is why some of your “peeps” won’t actually support your endeavors. This is why they won’t promote your business. This is why they don’t applaud your elevation like they do Beyoncé or their favorite celebrity or restaurant. You could even be offering the same thing someone else is and they have no problem backing the stranger but not you. They’ll pay top dollar for something that they could get from you. The problem is it’s you and they’re jealous of you.

I said it. They are! Otherwise, why wouldn’t they click like on your YouTube page? Why do they read everything you do but won’t subscribe to your page or blog? They don’t want your name to be out there? They don’t want to help push your brand and the root of it is jealousy. Meanwhile, your hustle inspires them, but they won’t give you credit for that either. You could even be a great public speaker and instead of pushing your talks, they’ll promote someone with millions of followers. It’s almost laughable. Why wouldn’t they take the same time or energy or money they give to people who don’t need it instead of watching you struggle for dear life to make something amazing you thought of a reality? They won’t buy your stock until it takes off! It’s sad but they don’t want you to get there before them. I know. You’re thinking no, that can’t be true. They’re not like that. Meanwhile, they are proving that to you over and over again they don’t believe in you. In many instances it cost nothing to push the people you know who are doing great things, but they don’t. It’s sobering, but nonetheless it’s true. When people around you have the resources and ability to push your dreams and don’t, trust me – they’re saying a lot. It’s not an oversight. They didn’t forget. It’s not that they didn’t know how to subscribe or like your post. They aren’t stupid. Well maybe some of them are. True story; some people comment on my posts and never click like. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Anyhoo. Most of these people get it. They actually do have a clue and the results are in – They just don’t care to help you take off any higher than you are today! It’s that simple. And trust me, the core intention is actually evil. While many of us think there are at a least a few people in our lives that should wholeheartedly believe in us first, they don’t. And when they don’t, I’m suggesting we just go ahead and accept the truth that’s right in our face. They either don’t believe in our dreams or they’re jealous. Inhale. Now exhale. I know it’s a lot to take in because neither one of these realties are easy to accept,…. but it is what it is.

Make the decision today to stop wasting time on people who insist on being in a secret competition with you and those who fake believe in you. If they’re into those kind of head games, let them play alone. You have too much to accomplish and there are people out there who will believe in you. You’re just wasting your time on fake believers. See, your purpose and plans won’t happen in the company of unbelief and doubt. Stop inviting them in and sharing your plans with them. Let them find out what you’re doing some other way, but stop making them think you need their support when they’ve proven they’re not going to be anything but unsupportive. You can’t accomplish anything with those type of people anyway. Even Jesus couldn’t perform miracles in a place where people didn’t believe in Him. Insert preach!

And just think; you had started to think something was wrong with you? It’s not you, you’re just around people who are trying to make you second guess yourself. This is not good for your mental health either. It’s gotten so bad that some of you are beginning to question your dreams. They actually have you thinking you’re doing too much. They have some of you thinking your ideas are stupid and now you’re starting to lose your confidence and courage around them hometown people. Snap out of it. It’s not you. Dreams and those who dream like you and I need the right environment to thrive and take off. You need to surround yourself with people who will help facilitate your take off. You’re not asking for much either. Don’t let them manipulate that way either. They will go and volunteer for causes they actually believe in and do whatever is needed to support them. Don’t let them make you feel bad for being a dreamer. Some of these people don’t believe in themselves and you think they’re going to believe in you? Believe in yourself and don’t let these people who feel so familiar with you discourage you.

Just because they don’t believe it, that doesn’t mean it’s not amazing.

Some of these people won’t see it until they can actually see it. Those are not the kind of people you need around your baby aka visions and dreams. Keep them away from your ideas if they’re not encouraging and supportive. I don’t care if it’s your momma, your daddy, children or your spouse. Keep going and never stop dreaming until it is real. Don’t let the jealousy, envy, insecurity, doubt and competitiveness of other people dampen your enthusiasm and excitement. If you don’t get positive energy from friends and family when you’re moving forward with great things, stop giving them access to your plans. They’re dream killers and you don’t need that in your life. I encourage you to surround yourself with love, light and positivity. You’re going somewhere great and the difference between you and them is your heart is not infected with the same disease as some of these people on this flight with you. You’re not achieving your goals to prove anything to anyone. You’re not trying to achieve and succeed to heal your childhood trauma. You’re different than them. Your motives are pure for moving forward. If you’re like me, you do what you do to inspire and bring hope and healing to others. I could literally sit around at this point in my life and focus solely on me. I could virtually spend my days and nights pursuing things that only bring me enjoyment and pleasure. But my purpose is to help others take off. It’s a pure purpose. It’s bigger than me so it’s worth the frustration that comes with it. Please, don’t let the nastiness and negativity of others interfere with your take off! You’re so needed in this world. Keep going.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #traveltips #goingplaces #jealous #competition #people #mentality #envy #negativity #keepgoing #blog #blogger #mindset

You ever just been completely shocked?!! Like honestly not even expecting that. I’ve sat there and thought there’s no way they did that. No way! When you deal with the utter disbelief, you sit there mouth wide open, eyes completely bulging out of your sockets, mind absolutely blown. That’s what happens when you give people the benefit of the doubt and put away your preconceived ideas about them and they turn around and do something that you can’t even believe. You help them and they act as if you didn’t do anything good. It blows my mind that most of the conflict we have in our relationships on this flight called life results from something called “people have the nerve!” They have the nerve to take your kindness for weakness. They have the audacity to hold you to a standard they don’t live up to. They sit back and judge you when you extended grace to them time and time again. Mindbaffling!

Honestly, this world would be a much better place if all of us got off of our high horse and stopped being so hard on one another. If you spend any amount of time around people you’ll begin to see how hypocritical they are. How they hold one person to such high standards that they don’t hold for themselves or others. What makes you expect all of this effort from one person while allowing the rest of the people in your life to be the losers they are? It doesn’t add up.

I have simply learned to remove myself from this whole idea of needing to understand why people behave the way they do. I am learning more and more to mind my business and let people do what they do while simultaneously telling them to leave me alone and worry about themselves! I sincerely don’t even care anymore what people think about me. They can think what they want. Shucks, it’s not my business what you think or say about me. Seriously, I don’t care to know what anyone has to say about me behind my back. If they’re talking about me from a place of dishonor and don’t have the decency to tell me I’ve actually done something they don’t appreciate, why should I care? And what gives them the right to sit back and assess me anyway?? That’s the main reason I don’t care. If you’re going places in life and you are, here’s a little piece of advice that will help you stay sane on the way to greatness. Don’t even take what people mumble and complain and say about you behind your back personal. I don’t. If you’re dealing with someone mature, they’ll learn to respectfully speak to you about their concerns and negotiate a better way to coexist. The alternative is talking about me behind my back to a bunch of other nincompoops. Not at all honorable. How about you change? Leave my presence. Go find people who act the way you want. After all, why do you need to control me anyway?

Most of the critics in my life are not ever going to have the courage to say what they say behind my back to my face. For real! First of all, they lack the conversational skills, maturity and integrity to speak to me one on one like an adult. Second, they have issues too. All of us do. So what makes us so consumed with trying to fix other people? That’s why what I do in the meantime is simple. I worry about myself. I certainly don’t plan on going into a shell, or a bubble. I don’t plan on becoming insecure and unsure about myself because of passive aggressive people. I refuse to be bullied by toxic people who pose as friends and family. That’s not going to happen.

The last suggestion for my real life coachable friends is – Don’t waste your time trying to get manipulative people to change. They don’t have the capacity to be upfront and honest. They lack the character and transparency to approach you with candor and credibility. So, their pattern of continued back biting and toxicity continues, just make sure it’s not with you. Stop giving them access to you the more they prove they don’t have the capability to respect you. While they’re sitting around being rude and obnoxious, we are busy growing and going places. We are moving forward and getting better. This might sound funny to you, but I actually think negative people who try me and fail are the ones helping make me prettier! They’re increasing my giftedness and anointing. The more I elevate in their face, I think they are literally making me look younger and feel better. So let them talk. Don’t get upset when people sit around you benefitting off your favor and sneakily trying to put you down. There’s something called Karma and it will come back and bite them in the butt when they least expect it. Watch the seeds you sow. They will come back and give you a harvest. Plant good stuff in your garden and become less and less shocked by toxic people and the nerve they have.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#toxicpeoplehavealotofnerve #therealestlifecoach #blogger #goingplaces #people #travel #backbiting #sneakdiss #twofacedpeople #mentality #character #integrity #traveltips #blog #destination