The CDC says Social distancing is the only way to safeguard and protect yourself from the spread of this virus and contamination.
I think this applies in more ways than one. I’m considering applying this way of life when it comes to all the obnoxious people who feel the need to spew out such rude and toxic commentary! Who asked you? If you’re not leading in calm, who asked you to lead people in chaos? Some of these folk need to be quiet. Lead your family. Handle what you have influence over.
I am actually repulsed by the self righteousness of so many people. Things are already hard right now. Emotionally, people are uneasy. If you can’t help and uplift others, be quiet. There’s too much toxic talk going on. So much hate. So many judgements being made. So many smarty pants. Who are you to criticize people who have to go to work? So you know everyone’s circumstances? Of course you don’t. Here’s what you can do: Keep your mouth off of people and pray for them. If you can’t help the situation, say less. Pray more. There’s nothing good about spreading negativity and fear. Be a part of the solution and if you don’t have anything nice to say – SHHHHHH.
I’m sure there’s something about your life people could look at and find fault about. People can look at your moves and question your discretion. Please stop it. If you wanna help, then actually help someone, but don’t put people down because they don’t have the same liberties you have. I’m sure I’ll be socially distant from some of these self righteous people after this crisis is over. If you can’t be a positive force in the lives of others in trouble, who needs you when things are good?
It’s a lot of hysteria associated with the spread of disease. The world is in an uproar right now because of the Coronavirus. It makes sense. Let’s be real. No one wants to contract something bad as a result of being in the company of someone else. Yet, I wonder why we don’t take the same precautions when it comes to the unhealthy attitudes, relationships and mentalities we allow to make us unwell. Some of us just go around casually and sit around toxic people who we know aren’t authentic, honest or operating from a place of integrity and then wonder why our spirit is all messed up.
The CDC says we should be careful right now about where we go and who we come into contact with. They say we should wash our hands. I say that same advice should be applied in our lives and relationships ALL THE TIME! Be careful who you go around. Be vigilant when it comes to washing your hands especially of users, manipulators and people who clearly have narcissistic personality disorder. I really encourage my real life coachable friends to get educated on people in general and the way many toxic individuals like to go around healthy people and try to wreak havoc on them. These people love to do their thing all the while trying their best to hide their abuse.
At the end of the day, an unconscious person is still an unconscious person and no matter how awake you are, they are still not going to change until they decide to work on themselves and wake up!
In the meantime, I want you to stop allowing yourself to be contaminated by unwell people. Stay away from people who don’t take the time to do anything to get better and protect yourself from disease ridden people with warped mindsets. Can the contaminated get healed? Can they change and get free from whatever disease they’ve picked up on this flight called life? Maybe. I think the greater question is: Do they even want to? That is the real question. Jesus came up to this man who was sitting around for 38 with no intention of getting better and he asked him point blank- Do you want to be well? Some of these people don’t care if they contaminate you. You can see it when it comes to the coronavirus. Some people still won’t wash their hands. They don’t care and they don’t want to change. That includes your friends and family. Make up your mind to save yourself first. Make sure you’re much more selective when it comes to the environments and relationships you put yourself in.
Be honest when dealing with a person or with people who like the way they are and they have no intention on changing. Truth is, all of us need to work on our character. All of us have areas in our mentality where we need to grow up. All of us have some disease in our character. Hopefully you’re in counseling and making the effort to progress. Hopefully you’re going to church or working out or eating better and doing the work to get well. If not, shame on you. If you let crap spread and infect others and never make the necessary precautions to get well, you’re a menace to society. Let’s stop ignoring people who flaunt around with their diseased personalities and expect everyone to accept it. We are not victims. We are here for a reason. We are determined to live. Life and the quality of life has a lot to do with each of us making wise decisions to be cautious and smart while traveling on this flight called life. Look around. Make sure you and the people you’re traveling with are part of the solution. Not the problem.
Last night I gave a team I coach a homework assignment and they were excited about doing it. It was simple. Write your bucket list and come next week ready to share! The point of this exercise was to get people to think about what they want to do and haven’t done yet. They were challenged to think about why they still want to do something and haven’t found resources to do it yet. The truth is, where you want to travel, who you want to spend time with, what experiences you’ve been dreaming of doing but still haven’t gotten around to; this can lead to regret. This is often how we spend this flight called life, delaying our plans for later.
Who’s to say you have all this time? It also should make you think, Why am I spending my time doing things that I don’t want to do while simultaneously postponing what I really want? Why am I wasting my time on people who are nothing more than a waste of time? People who play games and don’t ever get their stuff together. If you’re delaying your plans dealing with these kind of folk, no wonder you’re always so frustrated. And trust me, no matter how much you think you love them, they’re still not loving you correctly. So basically, as smart as you are, you are deliberately choosing to spend your precious life traveling with idiots who don’t value you the way you value them? Nah! I’m way too smart for that. I’m taking off free from all that baggage.
Some of you aren’t going anywhere great because over and over again you choose people who only value you when they want something from you. That’s not okay. I recently had a toxic person try to resume relationship with me after a long period of putting no effort into keeping the door of communication open and I decided no. It’s a no for me. I don’t choose to accept that kind of treatment. I’m no longer staying in one sided relationships. I’m thinking wait, this person is not the president, governor, mayor. This person is no celebrity and even if they were they still could maintain contact with me of some kind, if they wanted to. But I’m telling y’all, when you’re dealing with some of these fake people, as soon as you stop texting or reaching out to them you’ll see. Just wait and see how long it takes for some of these obnoxious people to reach out to you. They won’t. I’m not with it. It’s not acceptable. I am not about to be living in a whole new decade dealing with that drama. People know what they’re doing. They’re not stupid.
Bottom line is, before we make a list of places we want to go and things we have yet to accomplish, let’s soberly make a list of places we need to stop going. Let’s stop going “there” with people who don’t have any intention of being decent. They clearly don’t have a conscience. I’m amazed at how much crap people want you to accept from them that they wouldn’t accept from you. Toxic! Toxic! Toxic! I refuse to make this wonderful bucket list and ignore the fact that there are people who smile in my face but don’t handle me with any dignity or respect. I’m not going there anymore. That’s not cool. Before we can take off in life we need to be honest with ourselves. Take a moment to challenge yourself about the places you’re going now that make you feel like you need to escape. Dreaming of taking off, that’s great. Having plans for future success and accomplishments, that’s all fine and dandy but are you being honest with yourself about where you are now?
What’s keeping you from going somewhere great? Is it possible that you can actually go a lot further when you start addressing what you’re doing with your time today. What is keeping you from checking off that bucket list? Eliminate that and live!
When you’re trying to go somewhere you can expect some people to be genuinely happy for you. Some people really do want you to take off in life. There are literally some people sitting around right now smiling from ear to ear and eager to see you win.
Even if it’s not your family and so called friends, there are some good people on this flight called life with you who sincerely want to see you go somewhere amazing. Insert happy tears. 😢😊 The challenge sometimes is focusing on these people and not being annoyed and distracted by the evil ones you expected to be in your corner who aren’t. Truth is, you don’t really find out who’s riding for you until you start driving. Could that be the reason why so many people never go anywhere great? Are some of us too afraid to deal with the cold facts? The harsh reality is hard to bear. The truth happens to be one of the toughest pills to swallow. Coming to grips with the reality that some people who call themselves close to you will be the very ones to sit back and watch you fight for your dreams. They’ll watch you go through it all and never help you. They’ll be the same ones who run and buy expensive tickets to see Beyonce and tell you that your prices are too high. It’s sobering when you see how many people really don’t want to see you become anything more than someone they can keep in their lives and on their level. If they wanted you to soar, they’d make it clear. But here you are wondering. Are they gonna show up for you? Will they push your idea? Will they ever share your products? Or are they just around to make sure you don’t become anything more than what they want you to be – accessible to them.
Now don’t tell me you don’t see the lack of support for your dreams. They’ll be the first to say their proud of you but never there for you. What in the world are you proud of? My resolve to keep going in spite of you hating and trying to discourage me? Bye Felecia! Don’t tell me you don’t see how unenthusiastic “they” are when you put your plans out there. And the stuff you’re doing is not average people stuff. In case no one told you lately, YOUR IDEAS AND PLANS ARE ENORMOUS! They’re huge. They’re phenomenal. Don’t let Felicia make your think otherwise. You funding your own dreams, that makes you a CEO and force! You’re a freakin financial investor! You’re not waiting for someone to show up and save you. You’re out here making things happen and if the people closest to you can’t support that and rally around you and celebrate you, they are nothing but a bunch of Felicia’s! There’s a popular saying that came out a while back that you should use the next time you find yourself around someone who’s phony when it comes to your advancement. Wave at them and say Bye Felecia. While they’re sitting around being all fake, remember you’re doing it! You’re actually making your goals a reality. That means you’re moving. You’re going somewhere great while Felecia is standing still. Don’t even waste your emotional energy on those kind of losers. Wave at them and take off. While they’re making their loaded, condescending remarks about what you’re working on, wave Bye to Felecia. She’s old news. She’s stuck in high school with that mentality she has and you’re on your way to greater. Your emotional IQ won’t even allow you to engage at her level anymore. You’re operating at a higher frequency. Leave her where she is. She’s still gossiping and being petty and passive aggressive while you’re out here speaking directly and honestly. This is not the time to waste your words on Felecia. Say Bye to Felicia! My real life coachable friends and I are going somewhere and we don’t have time for you and your shenanigans. Girl bye! Boy bye! We are taking off and you’re still trying to figure us out.
This is the real trip. This is your life. There’s no rehearsal for living. It’s happening right now. You’re living out the rest of your days, so you have to be intentional and sure that you’re not out here wasting the best years of your life. Don’t waste this journey around anyone or anything that robs you of the time God’s given you. Joy thieves, remove them from your space. It’s not a good way to honor your life. Surround yourself with people who edify you and lift you up. Get close to people who challenge you to come out of your comfort zone. It’s not productive to always be comfortable. Not if you want to go somewhere in life. Some of you have been calling it self care, but you’re really self sabotaging your life purpose and your take off. It’s one thing to have a day off and rest but too much sleep is a sign of laziness. Some of your habits are not helping you ascend.
Be honest, you know when you’re wasting time. Some of the things you’re doing habitually aren’t supporting your mental and emotional healing. I have to tell you the truth. I care. You are wasting too much of your time. Just because you enjoy it, that’s not enough. Is it making you better? Are you making any money off of it? Is it helpful to anyone else or is this about your delusions of grandeur? When it comes the people you claim you’re assigned to, are you sure? If you’re still claiming to be helping people who aren’t becoming independent and more responsible you’re enabling them and that’s a huge waste of time and resources. Can I ask you an honest question? Why are you still trying to fix people who enjoy being broken?
Some of these folk like licking their wounds and reliving the pain of yesterday over and over again. They are not on a flight to freedom. They actually enjoy being stuck on their toxic layover of pain and regret. Some of these people around you are wasting the best years of their lives attention seeking. Some of them are way too old to be doing the stuff they do to try and be relevant. It’s lame. But my advice to my real life coachable friends about attention seeking time wasters is simple – Don’t worry about them. You tried and they’re not going to change. After all, haven’t you tried to help them? Too much time wasted! In the meantime, you’re delaying your own progress and advancement on people who enjoy playing with their demons. Don’t sacrifice another minute of this ride for people who live like they have nothing to lose. It’s not your job to be the sacrificial lamb for them.
Stop standing in the wings on someone else’s stage trying to direct them into a life of meaning. Are you qualified to coach them with all their issues anyway? Do they even want to change? How much more will it to take for you to see them for the emotional vampire they are? It’s like wake up buddy, you’re here! You’re on this flight called life and you’re so absorbed in someone else’s drama you forgot to take notice that your life is passing you by. Some of you are getting close to the final chapter of your story. Ok, well maybe you’re here for a lot longer than some of us. Maybe you’ve got more time, but what’s the point of more time if you’re just going to waste it? What are you doing with the time you’ve been blessed with? What are you up to that’s out of the ordinary? What are you contributing in the earth that’s meant to leave a positive mark? Are you going to make this chapter of your life another unremarkable boring one or will you make the courageous decision to dare to do something amazing?
Throw a plot twist in there and WOW the people who are following your life story. Do something powerful with your time. It’s not good enough to sit on the sofa everyday and watch other people live. Your life is meant to be LIVED Intentionally. Live beyond the trauma and dysfunction of your past. Your life is meant to be lived beyond shame, humiliation and regret. Make your story better by thinking better. Get around some people that inspire you and motivate you to try again. To dream again. You’re not too old, too single, too tired, too black, too female, or too young to do something amazing! Time is not anyone’s friend. It’s ticking and it’s not waiting for any of us to keep on with our excuses. Make the decision to laugh more, to dream more, to give more. Make the decision to be more present and listen to the people in your life. Make eye contact. Take in the moments. Make the wild decision to do something that seems out of your comfort zone. As far as we know, this is it. There’s no rehearsal for life. We are here living it. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you made the decision to waste your life waiting on everything to be perfect in order to LIVE? Get up and live. Stop being your worse enemy and be happy. Put your differences aside with people who want to have mutually healthy and supportive relationships with you. Do everything in your power to real-ly enjoy your days. This is not a rehearsal. This is your life.
In the story of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo is banished because he behaves in a way that’s considered unacceptable in his village and now to make a public example out of him, they collectively decide to oust him or isolate him. And they knew this would hurt him! They wanted to hurt him bad. Consider that when you think about the people who do this to you. Their intentions are not nice at all. It’s meant to hurt you.
In Romeo and Juliet, they basically push him to a place emotionally that makes him prefer death over life. This is the way most of these cults, gangs, cliques, organizations operate today. In essence they’re saying; Act the way we want you to or we will make you pay emotionally. We will ignore you and remind you that we are not happy with you and you are basically not worthy. And you still want their acceptance? It’s a no for me. There’s no working anything out with toxic people like this.
Romeo, as a result of this kind of treatment never took off in life. So much potential, but the banishment sent him into a mental breakdown. He ultimately came to the conclusion that he would rather die than be banished. See, these people that do this know what they’re doing. Isolation, banishment and the feeling of being excluded is hostile warfare on the emotions of a person. This became too much for him. He didn’t think he could handle all of this. Especially if he had to be without Juliet. In my opinion, there is really nothing more wicked than for people to know what you love and then to work collectively to take it from you. This spirit is at work today in many of our communities. Just like Romeo and Juliet had to deal with familial forces working against what they wanted and felt was right for them, there are often powerful forces at work trying to make things difficult for those of us trying to go places on this flight called life. Romeo and Juliet had people coming against their vision for life. Cult families and communities always feel like they need to control the direction of the lives of the people they feel power over. It got so hard for them to move their life in the direction that they wanted out. Sadly, death seemed like the only option left for them. This is so sad. No one should push people this far. Not to a place of psychological torment like this where the people who supposedly love them are the reason they feel suicidal.
My prayer today is for someone who feels like they’ve been ousted. Don’t give up. I know there are people who feel down today. Like their take off in life is impossible because of a group, organization, family or entity that’s working to keep them away from what they love. I send love and healing to you today. You’re not alone. Unfortunately, there are some people out here justifying their evil and they are so void of decency it’s a shame. They choose to control people and force their mindset on them rather than giving them the freedom to be authentic and live their lives on their own terms. Some people have such a Messiah complex they are walking around playing God on this earth. This world would be a better place if people backed off and loved more and judged less. Romeo and Juliet’s families were the real problem. Their hate. Their divisiveness created all of this. Most of the issues we see in our world today stem from bad family manners. We teach hate instead of love. We teach division instead of unity. We teach arrogance instead of humility.
I believe you’re reading this today because you needed to be reminded that anything that’s trying to kill your hopes, dreams or your spirit is not greater than the resilience that resides in you. Don’t let anyone or anything discourage you to the point where you would prefer to die. Whether it’s a death when it comes to you speaking up for what you believe, don’t let them discard you and make you feel like your opinion is invalid. Whether you’re dealing with a sense of sadness or feeling like giving up when it comes to what you love and believe in; don’t let the hate mongers push you down. Even if it’s an emotional death when it comes to your future goals and plans, don’t let them win. Please keep pushing. Don’t let the negativity of those trying to eliminate you or block you from getting to your next level take the wind out of you. Banishment is a wicked game emotional manipulative people play. It’s a head game. Don’t let them win. Push past the need to be seen by those people. There are over 7 billion people on this earth; you can make new family, friends, community if the ones you got don’t want to support your take off. You don’t need those people who try to ostracize you. Let God show you those who are for you. Stop giving your focus to people who are into those kind of mean behaviors. You are destined for greatness! Just don’t stop. Don’t give up and don’t let anyone’s meanness and manipulation deter you from living your best life.
Romeo thought being exiled was as bad as being dead.
Remember that the next time you try to do this in your little group you lead! Stop it. It’s mean spirited. It’s wicked and it’s emotional abuse! Many of your families, churches, affiliations are nothing more than exclusive, mean hate groups meant to make people feel the same way. The motto ought to be straightforward – Conform or else we will make you discouraged, ready to give up and ultimately feeling like death is better than life.
This is group bullying. Stop it. If you’re feeling alone and need support, reach out to me. I’m here for all my real life coachable friends. You are not alone on this flight called life.