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I’ve never seen a plane land and a full grown adult have a fit because they had to get off. People don’t kick, scream and fall apart when they have to exit an airplane do they? No! The reason is they’re going somewhere better (insert speaks in tongues). People in their right mind actually look forward to getting off the plane! After all, what’s better than being buckled up, sitting crammed up in a super tight space with a bunch of strangers for hours? Prosperity preacher Kenneth Copeland said “Flying commercial is like being stuck in a tube with a bunch of demons.” That’s a really graphic image, but he does have a point. 😂😂😂

Back to what I was saying though. No one gets dramatic and has a melt down when it’s time to exit a plane because they’re going to their next destination. Is it possible that you don’t want to leave people and situations because you have no personal goals or anything else planned for your life? It’s like a mom who lives vicariously through their kids. They have no real identity outside of their children so when their kids leave the nest, they are lost. Make sure that’s not you. Develop a life purpose outside of other people. Even your spouse should not hold your identity in their hands. Of course you should be deeply in love with them. You should love having them around and being able to spend time with them. But at the end of the day you should not fall apart in the event that you have to deal with the reality of life without them. The truth is, everyone you know is going to die one day, including you. My hope is that you’re solid enough emotionally, mentally and spiritually to handle it. Sobering I know, but I am the realest life coach.

I often compare life to a flight and we all know this flight will come to an end for us all one day. We must have enough substance within to handle the reality that all good things come to an end. This is also true when it comes to you and I exiting any phase of life or situation or even relationship. We literally need to take the same perspective as we do when we get off the plane. The reason we are exiting whatever chapter of our lives is not for us to lament about leaving, rather it is to celebrate what’s next. You can’t cry and fall out and waste your energy shedding tears over a period in your life that’s run its course. Let go. Get your emotions under control and breathe.

When it gets to the point where everyone can see the relationship is dead but you, that’s when people have to help you exit that stage. When your mind tells you to stick around when a person is no longer into you or when you’re clearly not getting back what you’re giving out, that’s when you need some quality people in your life. When you’re still trying to hang around after the plane has landed you need to check the quality of friendships you have in your life. If you have people that will let you look crazy after you should have been walked away from some toxic people and places, that’s when you need a real life coach. Hint – maybe you need to share this with some people you know on the struggle bus of reality! See, I’m not afraid to tell you that this is as far as it’s going. I’m not afraid to tell you that you need to get a grasp on reality and deplane. Get off of move on. Stop embarrassing yourself. Leave. Don’t let people exploit you and take advantage of you anymore. I don’t care who they are. That’s not being noble. That’s being stupid. I’m sorry. They won’t tell you, but I will. You look desperate and thirsty. Stop.

See, I need you to leave that situation because nothing new is going to happen for you as long as you keep trying to hold on to what has been. I know people who love to talk about “the good ole days.” Clearly, if the only time your eyes light up is when you’re strolling down memory lane, you must have forgotten that you’re still here and can have good new days too. I’m trying to remind you that your life is not over. There are people in their 80’s still living it up. Traveling, dating, serving, going to school, creating, getting up and doing business. What’s your excuse? When I go to the gym, there’s always this woman there in her late 70’s. She’s there faithfully with her son on the treadmill walking. They literally stay on the treadmill moving for an hour everyday. I’ll admit there have been times I’ve walked in the gym not feeling very motivated and I’ve even been tempted to do the bare minimum and leave. On those days I’ll tell myself I’m tired. I’ll tell myself that 30 minutes is enough. I’ll sometimes convince myself that I’m ok doing a little something. Something is better than nothing right? Then when I look up and see her in her late 70’s still moving, I tell myself there is no way I’m going to let a woman who’s almost 80 years old have more self discipline and motivation for excellence than me!!!

My simple motivation comes to you today that you ought to be ashamed of yourself if you stop now. You’re going to let a woman who’s almost 80 outdo you?!!! Nah fam! My dear coachable friends, stop downplaying who you are and what you can do. So what you’re tired. So what you don’t feel like it. Stop talking yourself out of being effective and productive! I thought you wanted to go somewhere great!!! Greatness is not achieved by being mediocre. Greatness is not achieved by making excuses for yourself and your lack of discipline. Listen, tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Stop delaying your destiny. Get up and do more! There’s something else you can do to get closer to your destination! I’m not saying to feel bad that you’re not doing enough. I’m saying push yourself to keep being better. Push yourself to complete tasks and goals that you know you have the capacity to complete!

Stop allowing yourself to stay on a plane that’s already landed. Get up and go to your next level. Get some motivators in your life that help inspire you toward your destiny. Stop crying about what was and make some new memories. If they left you, wipe your tears and go meet some new people. You mean to tell me all these people living in this world and you’re still crying over him? You’re still heartbroken over her? They weren’t even all that anyway. You’re crying over a 6. Get over it. Get off that plane and move on. There are more fish in the sea. I understand the business or the job you wanted didn’t work out. Ok. There are tons of other opportunities out there. Get off the plane and get in step with your future. Whatever didn’t go right up to this point is not really that important. What is important is WHAT DID IT TEACH YOU? Lessons not learned are lessons you will repeat. If you’re not learning from your mistakes; you’re probably not growing. You can’t afford to get older and not grow. Get up and grab your belongings and get off that flight and move to your next level. Don’t cry about it anymore. Stop having adult temper tantrums about what hasn’t gone your way. People don’t cry when they get off a plane and the reason is because they’re excited about where they’re going next. I challenge you to get going to your next! It’s a beautiful journey when you let nothing that didn’t work out steal your joy. If it left you, it wasn’t for you. What’s NEXT? I challenge you to write out a plan. What’s your next level look like?

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #howtoexitaplane #getoff #exit #strategy #mentality #mindset #kennethcopeland #plane #whatsnext #next #blogger #motivation #inspiration

I’m always interested and intrigued when I see people saying their goodbyes at the airport. The range of questions I ask myself go from: Where are they going next? Is it business or pleasure? How long will they be there? Are they nervous about their newest expedition? Is this a one way trip or will they be returning soon? Do they have the genuine love and support of those they’re leaving behind? Who’s funding this trip? Are they crying happy tears? Overall, what does this goodbye represent for them?

Made me think that all of us should be much more conscious and intentional about where we’re going on this flight called life. That we should put some extra thought into why we’ve yet to say goodbye to some places, people and things and hello to others. Seeing people hug, kiss and even shed tears when leaving their loved ones in order to go somewhere new, it made me want to reevaluate where I’m going and will that require me saying adios to some family and friends. How about you? Are you ok with departing some people and things to get to your next level? I’m ok with that.

At this point, I’m absolutely at peace with leaving anyone who stands in the way of my take off and ascension. Anyone who’s not willing to change, evolve, elevate and ascend,… I’m out of here! No longer will I hang out with turkeys expecting to fly with the eagles. I’m ok with all of that and I’m not worried about the backlash associated with me leaving certain people and their stubborn mindsets behind. I’m not willing to compromise being authentically me for anyone.

See, I’ve come to grips that there will inevitably be some unexpected backlash and retaliation when you differentiate from people and their expectations of you. When people expect you to grin and bear their constant dysfunction and toxic foolishness and you no longer do; it may invite a harsh new reality. People will get all mad at you for growing up because they don’t ever intend on changing their mental location in life. Too bad, so sad.

This may result in a tearful departure from some people you’ve had a long history with. Some people will kick and scream; and grieve and mourn the fact that you’re no longer the same person. They’ll be downright angry and upset with you because you won’t allow them to use you as their personal doormat. Some of these people have really become accustomed to walking on your feelings and your rights. They’ve become cool with the idea of you being a martyr in order for them to live. You have to be confident as you say your goodbyes. If you’re not careful, some of these manipulative people will convince you that you’re a bad person for having standards. I have even had to ask myself, is there anyone in my life now who wants to stay in the same place and are they important enough for me to keep crying over?

Is there anyone in your life who you are actually willing to keep crying over? Some of you haven’t made the necessary moves you need to make simply because you’re overly attached to people who don’t want to grow! Think about how crazy that is. Is your destiny and future that much of an option for you? Is it something that you’re willing to let others have so much control over!? Snap out of it. There are literally some mindsets and places that I have firmly decided to part with in order to go where I know I was born to go. I have even determined to stop apologizing for making a commitment to living my best life. Sadly, there are people who want you to keep making allowances for them to be trifling and to stay untransformed. I love no one more than I love who I’m becoming and I wholeheartedly refuse to let stagnant people keep me stuck crying with them over their obsession with the same ole location! Some people love to keep talking, thinking and living the same way. As for me, I’m saying goodbye. There’s no way I’m willing to stay behind because you or anyone else doesn’t want to grow.

In order for you to truly ascend and go to a great place in life, you’re going to have to kiss some people goodbye. Say so long to the negative, fearful, insecure, competitive, mentally and emotionally unstable ones in your life! Love them from a distance. There’s a great place awaiting you. For those of you who don’t think this applies to you because there’s no actual person you need to say goodbye to; God bless you. But just maybe you need to consider kissing some of those toxic mentalities you have goodbye. No one going anywhere great should even have to think twice about traveling with the baggage of a negative way of thinking. Some of you have big dreams, but you won’t get to your destination with a poisonous mindset where you’re always talking yourself out of better to accommodate these destructive individuals in your life. If you’re determined to get “there” you’ve got to be willing to break up with conflicted people and their conflicted mentalities. If they can’t make up their mind, that’s their problem. Choose a destination. Don’t wait for them to agree to go with you. Be brave and courageous enough to go alone. There are some great things ahead for you if you’ll venture out and say goodbye to anything that’s keeping you from soaring.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flight #flying #goodbye #airport #mentalities

Traveling in different time zones can be pretty overwhelming. To think that just by flying for a few hours everything is moving on a different schedule of operation. Places are literally open in one time zone and closed in another. That will preach!

Leaving LA and returning to Maryland yesterday reminded me that a person can return to a time zone and still be functioning on a totally different mode. So even though the clock in Maryland said 12PM last night, I was still wide awake as if it was still 9PM like I was still in LA! The temperature was cooler in LA, so the hoodie I was wearing and the blanket I kept close by was good while I was in that place, but when I got back home, I began peeling off layers of clothes to get myself adapted to the environment! Are you going to keep acting as if this place you’re currently in is the same as the one you left? One of the biggest sources of frustration for those of us going places is trying to maintain a strong healthy relationship with someone on a different time zone. Some of the people you are currently trying to stay close to just don’t get the zone you’re in! You’re not the same immature person you used to be. You’re not proud of your issues anymore. You’re working on changing and making progress. Sadly, not everyone is that way. Some people refuse to adjust to the time zone. Many of you can relate to this so much. If you’re growing an organization and setting new policies and systems but there are those who refuse to make the shift; you will have to make the uncomfortable decision to leave them in a zone you left. I’m learning to be okay with that even if they aren’t. The flip side of not changing with the time is that you will awkwardly force yourself to keep trying to communicate with people that no longer speak your language. Trust me this is not something you want to waste time with if you’re pushing for greatness. There’s nothing more aggravating than trying to get on the same page with people determine to misunderstand you. Be ok with them not getting you. Learn to be ok with it or look forward to spending time trying to explain yourself all the time. It’s a no for me. Just accept it. You are just on a different time zone.

This got me to thinking this morning about how many of us are still functioning today like we are in a time zone we’re no longer in. How many of us are mentally dressed for the wrong season of our life, afraid to peel off the layers we used to comfort us for the place we’re no longer in? How many of us are behaving as if it’s 9PM, when it’s actually 12PM? How does this mindset impact our decisions, relationships, priorities and even our motives? There are people sleeping in LA when you should be up if you’re in Maryland. See, Business hours are different when you move into another time zone. You could be trying to conduct business and your timing be all off. Making calls when the people you need to speak with are sleep. No matter how much you try to live in two time zones; eventually that jet lag is going to catch up with you. You will find yourself unable to keep up trying to live in two time zones. Pick one and prosper in that! You’re doing yourself an injustice trying to be successful everywhere. Find a zone and succeed in that! Find a niche and advance there. You’ll thank me later. See, often times it’s not that you don’t have a good strategy; but if you’re not sleeping well and your sense of timing is off, nothing is going to work out well. This idea of functioning in the right time zone even effects how we handle our relationships. If you’re not growing and committed to personal transformation, you could find yourself outgrowing people who are committed to elevation and ascent.

Some of you are wondering why you feel the way you feel about certain people and situations. You still love them, you just don’t have a genuine connection anymore. Maybe it’s because you’re in a different time zone. Maybe they’re on east coast time and you’re on the west coast as far as your way of thinking goes. Take time to evaluate how you think and where you see your life going. After all this is important. This is your life. Stop playing around with it to keep complacent people comfortable. It’s stupid to live your life to keep your uninspired family and friends comfortable. You’re that concerned with their opinion that you’ll miss out on your take off for them?! Nah fam! That’s not the way people going places think. Don’t let your mom or dad or old friends keep you from traveling as far as you can. How many people don’t leave their station in life all because they don’t want to leave their family and friends behind? And what kind of family and friends want to hold you back from greatness to keep them secure? That’s silly. What if you’re supposed to leave them in order to break generational curses for your entire family? I feel that for you. What if you making the next big move will be the step necessary for your life to change and for you to experience the unknown! After you assess the flow and rhythm of your vision for your life and elevation; take off! Stop talking yourself out of success because everyone you are so codependent on is still going to bed at 9pm. If you’re still wide awake with vision and a hunger and appetite to progress – then GO! Soar! Take off! Blow up! Try! Dream! Don’t give up. You don’t have to go to bed and sleep just because everyone around you has stopped dreaming. You aren’t limited to do what they do. This is your life! Make the most out of every opportunity. And if there is no opportunity, find one! You’re one no away from your yes! Keep pushing. I believe in you and I want to see you go somewhere great!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flight #flying #people #mentality #mindset #timezones #different #eastcoast #westcoast #timedifference

No matter how challenging your flight starts off, you can truly go somewhere great! Today, I am witnessing my oldest son Christopher, graduate from Stanford University School of Business with his Master’s Degree. It’s amazing and inspiring to see him accomplish yet another great feat! I gave birth to him as an unmarried 18 year old daughter of a bishop and his father who is my husband now but was my then boyfriend who’s an immigrant from Kingston, Jamaica. The odds were against him. People said some of the most awful things about me, his father and our son. They said my son would never amount to anything. His father, my now husband of almost 29 years and I didn’t have our “act” together then, but we never gave up. We tried. We sincerely wanted to see our son go somewhere great and today we see him yet again shutting the mouth of every naysayer! He’s knocking down another barrier, finishing another milestone, going to another level. It’s not only a blessing to see him do this; it’s downright inspiring!!!

This made me think how awesome it is to see someone you love graduate and go to a new level. Sure, it’s graduation season and people are doing just that and that just goes to show that no one can control how far you go except you! People can say whatever they want about you. What matters most is what you say to yourself. People are indeed going to another level, many in spite of their overwhelming past. These amazing individuals deserve to be celebrated. There are those like my son Chris, who are determined that no matter how challenging their start was – they are committed to going somewhere great! How about you? I encourage you to dream without boundaries today. That no matter how hard your life began, you can accomplish ANYTHING! You can accomplish your goals and fulfill your dreams no matter who your parents were, how little resources you had, no matter your race or religion, or any negative word spoke against you; you can go places!!! I’m here to tell you that it’s possible!

Watching my son graduate with his Master’s Degree from Stanford and break down barriers is motivating!! It’s literally possible that all of us can go to whatever destination we can imagine. What’s holding you back? I challenge you not to let anything set you back. Not money, lack of support, or encouragement or resources; you can get there! I’m here to tell you that anything is possible. The only thing that can stop you from getting “there” is you. Stop talking yourself out of your next level! Take off! There are others waiting on you to knock down an invisible wall and make the impossible POSSIBLE!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #gsb #flying #flight #destination #mindset #stanford #mentality #people #blogger #blog

On the plane to California, we couldn’t help but notice the tallest guy on the plane. He was actually Jason Collins, apparently the NBA’s first openly gay man. He was traveling on our flight and was given the utmost love and respect by everyone. But I noticed that he didn’t appear to be very happy. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but gay is a word that generally means happy. This literally made me think how many times on this flight called life we can say we are something and everything in our spirit says something else.

Now I could be totally wrong, maybe he was happy; and what I read from him was wrong, but there’s generally something in all of us especially those of us who have a greater sense of discernment that gives us special insight into the heart and emotional state of others. I strongly felt that this man was sad. And no judgement against him, but it made me think how many times I was supposed to be one thing but what people saw in my spirit was in total contradiction. This made me do some inner self reflection. Made me think how much more intentional that I need to be about representing myself sincerely. That I need to be more authentic and never allow what I am and what I portray to be in contradiction.

This made me want to ask my coachable friends – How many times do you contradict yourself? Introducing yourself one way, while presenting something in complete opposition. As you go about your day and interact with others, don’t fake it. Do your best to be honest. If you’re not feeling the way people expect you to feel, don’t lie. There are times when image will tempt you to act in a way that doesn’t honor your true heart. My advice is simple: don’t lie. Be authentic. Be genuine. Whoever can’t handle the real you is someone you don’t need in your life and is not helpful to your growth and elevation. You need people that love you. The real you. Whether you’re no where near your best self or not, you deserve those who will accept you for you. The real you. Whether it’s not the right race, religion, sexual orientation or anything else, you deserve those who honor your authenticity. Those who accept you! Many of the unhappy people traveling with us on this flight called life are that way because they have met nothing but rejection for who they truly are. I come to remind you that whatever you are is celebrated somewhere; you just need to find that place. In the meantime, until you get there; honor yourself by staying true to who you are. You are loved. You are supported. You are celebrated and it’s nothing you can do about it. Maybe you should stop begging for acceptance from others and accept yourself. The quality of your life will improve when you learn to be happy with who you are. I celebrate your ascension and your elevatioN.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#fherealestlifecoach #flying #jasoncollins #travel #goingplaces

While awaiting my own take off this morning on a packed flight to Los Angeles, I noticed the flight that was leaving before us to Nashville, Tennessee was the complete opposite of ours. We had 174 people and 175 seats. Their flight had 36 people and about 140 empty seats with no one occupying them. The announcer explained that because the flight was so lacking in bodies, they needed the passengers on it to sit in random seats. She went on to say “Please distribute your weight around to ensure we have a safe take off!” Amazing! These words literally inspired my motivation for you this morning. The idea behind weight distribution on the plane goes like this – Basically, every zone on the aircraft needs to have a certain minimum weight in order for the aircraft to have the proper center of gravity for take off. Just before the cabin doors close, the final weight and balance calculations are made, and if there is not enough weight in every zone; the plane can’t safely take off and go anywhere. Now that’s a word.

Made me think how many people, families, ideas, and organizations can’t take off for this same reason. People are not spread out evenly, covering the zones that don’t have any weight or substance there. Could it be that you’re at a personal standstill for this same reason? Let’s be honest, a lot of us are drawn to the fun positions in people’s lives. No one wants to sit in the weighty positions. Who wants the pressure of being the truthful friend? Who wants to be the one in the relationship who holds people accountable? Not many right? As a result, we choose places in the lives of others that make them feel good and that don’t require a lot of effort. People tend to avoid pressure. Usually most of us prefer the easiest possible way to get “there” by using the least amount of effort. Average people look for things that make them happy or look successful, but extraordinary people seek out a greater purpose that serves others, not merely themselves. I believe the reason some of our plans don’t ever take off is simply because we haven’t properly distributed the weight in our lives. We haven’t even allowed ourselves to have these kind of weighty self evaluations. Who’s willing to actually fly with us and cover us and sit in a zone alone. Who’s actually willing to stick out a light journey with you and take a posture of support and help with no strings attached? Honestly, who is really there for you when the chips are down? Who covers the areas that seem empty for you until you get to the next stop in your life?

You need to ask these questions about every zone in your life. If you have a business, what’s the point of having all your key players focusing on the same thing? Some of your most valuable people needs to be spread around, not all worried about the same zone. Some people like huddling around one issue so they never have the weight of tackling an areas that’s never been addressed. Resist the urge to always meet together, travel together, hang out together, because your organization needs more strategic weight distribution. If everyone at the top of your team is articulate, integral and high paid that’s going to mean all the people who are invested in the success of the company are hanging out together and doing great. Meanwhile, what about the people who make the most contact with your clients? They are the lowest paid team members, and by the way don’t forget they’re angry and frustrated about that and the way they interact with your clients or potential clients is not representative of your vision or your brand. Spread the weight around! Put some money, time and training in every zone. Pay some people well in every zone, don’t limit it to one area and neglect the others. I loved this television series that used to show high powered CEO’s who would come in undercover and work for their own company. They would act as if they were in need of a job and pretend to be a common regular person, but they were really the head of the corporation. They would come in and get trained by the same people who they were paying to develop their culture. Many would find there were some major problems with the people covering zones and their methods and mentalities. Many would sadly discover the weight was not being distributed for success. Is it possible that you need to check, assess and evaluate and do some hard calculations in your own life? See where the weight is not being distributed for ultimate success in your own pursuits. This same breakdown can happen in your family life too. The family can be suffering because important zones are lacking while others are overstocked. The bottom line is, there has got to be some balance in anything we hope to see soar. If you want to see greatness in your relationships, school and business; look at how you manage every area. Not just the areas you like. Too much attention to one thing is a sign of neglect to other things. Find ways to move forward with realistic goals. How can you take off better in your life? Well you certainly can’t do this by putting all your attention on one area and neglecting the others. I know a lot of people who work, work, work to provide and end up having a bad marriage or relationship with their children. Distribute the weight before it’s too late. Those kids will only be kids for a little while. Before you know it they will grow up and resent you for never taking the time to go to their baseball games or ballet recitals. Take the time and spend time with your spouse. God forbid they get a terminal diagnosis and you never have the chance to actually spend the quality time with them that you promised them for so long.

I want you to look honestly at yourself. Many of you have neglected yourself in an effort to make everyone else happy. Sure, you have good intentions by trying to help everyone out. But in the meantime, look at your life. Your house and car are a mess, your health is declining, you never take time to do anything you love; none of this is beneficial for you. When was the last time you took a trip or treated yourself to something nice? You can’t ever find time or money to do anything for yourself because you’ve made it your life mission to make things happen for everyone else. Everyone except you. Cut it out. It’s time to distribute the weight evenly. So what if there’s not a lot of people on this flight with you. Don’t be so desperate that you accept anything from people. Don’t panic feeling like you need to have 100 friends or a huge family. Look for quality over quantity. Insist that everyone traveling with you find a reasonable position on this flight that makes for a safe take off for everyone. Stop allowing toxic people in your life to takeover parts of your life that will ultimately put your ascension in jeopardy! It’s time to take off and even if it appears your journey is full of empty zones, you can insist that whoever is traveling with you from this point on they have to honor you and support your take off. What do you need a bunch of needy people around you who are so clingy and determined to sit where they want that they put your elevation at risk anyway?! You need those who are content finding a place that makes take off optimal for you and everyone else on this flight with you.

It’s time to go somewhere great. Make sure you are flying with people who are genuinely willing to cooperate with the weight distribution on your flight.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #flight #travel #people #weight #distribution #emptyzones #spreadout #traveling #passport #mindset #goingplaces #blogger #motivation #lax

Ever gotten ready to go somewhere and you were all excited and packed to take off, then you arrive to the airport and hear that your flight has been delayed? Delay is a period of time by which something is late or postponed. A person can also be delayed or held up, slowed down, set back when trying to reach a destination. Think about your life; What’s making you late for your take off? Who’s delaying your elevation on this flight called life? Are you trying to hang out with people who don’t want to go anywhere great, busy trying to mentor people who don’t want your mentorship? Trying to be close to people determined to stay cold and distant?

Most of the time when I’ve had a flight delayed it hasn’t been by much; yet I have been guilty (along with everyone traveling with me) of overreacting when my plans change or get delayed. Overreacting when things seem out of our control is by far one of the most useless things a person can do with their time and emotions. As I’m learning to increase my emotional IQ there are some things I refuse to give my time and energy to ever again. I don’t answer every phone call, respond to every text or email, it just doesn’t make sense to use up any of my day on nonsense. So, I make it a point not to entertain situations and people that refuse to grow up and change. Some people like to get a rise out you. They’re clearly mentally and emotionally delayed so they go around trying to delay everyone else. Nope! I refuse to stay on the same level with those who can’t grasp basic adult concepts like respect, gratitude, consistency, attitude and tone.

There are some people who repeatedly and consistently cross clear boundaries with me. Should I keep giving them the chance to dishonor me? Absolutely not! Neither should you. Learning this has been key for me in maintaining my peace, sanity and focus on my purpose in life. Let’s be real, not everyone has a sense of urgency when it comes to going somewhere great! The times in my life I had the most impactful moments were free of people who are always operating on a delay. These people have little ambition, vision, goals, faith; all they do is find a little job and work it with their bad attitude. Not that I have anything against jobs, but there is a mindset that people have who never dream beyond a 9-5 mentality have, and if you’re not careful they will become a job for you. Some people are work. I would even venture to say they are a piece of work!

You’ll find yourself constantly trying to encourage, motivate, inspire, and help them, when your assignment is not to manage the emotional issues of another adult! Seriously! Truth is, all of us have to deal with difficult people in our lives and if we are working on becoming better communicators and leaders in our own right, wouldn’t it be nice to be paired with people who are doing the same?! We have got to develop the wisdom and maturity needed to respond with grace or not say anything at all. See, if I know I am having a moment where I am spiritually deficient and haven’t prayed enough or meditated long enough to handle what I feel is headed in my direction; I remove myself from the situation and take a different route or way of getting to my destination. I’ve learned that not being able to maneuver around difficult people can be one of the biggest sources of delay in the lives of someone going places. I’ve learned to stop letting ignorant people take me places I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go to a place where I lose my joy or patience. Those places delay my promotion. Sometimes avoiding some of these toxic characters isn’t possible, but the goal for the coachable is that we can grow to a place of becoming completely unbothered by them, their antics and their mind games. This takes a serious commitment to growing up mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Believe it or not, some of the barbaric psychological techniques of these people who love to trigger your emotions negatively never change which means you could be getting pushed to the edge emotionally by the same methods everyday. Come on you’re smarter than that!!!! At some point, you have to wise up and say not another day! Identify the idiot, the bigot, the racist, the sexist, the homophobe, the narcissist, the attention seeker, the know it all and don’t walk into their toxic trap! You’ve got to literally get sick and tired of being sick and tired and politely tell them to go away! Tell your annoying neighbor who sticks their nose in your business all the time – “Please stop talking to me about personal matters that don’t concern you. Please mind your business.” At some point you’ve got to become emotionally intelligent enough to directly confront the person who continues to embarrass you by saying – “What would you do if I walked up to you and insulted you all the time?” You’ve got to be confident enough to speak to the bully in your house and tell them “I don’t appreciate how uncomfortable you try to make me and everyone in this house when your attitude is not right.” I taught my children at a young age to respectfully speak up when the the tyrant teacher in the classroom is being mean spirited. I taught them to say – “I’m sorry, but is there a reason you keep speaking to me that way? Is there something I did to make you so angry with me?” I’m telling you it works.

When you step back and address the spirit or the energy the person is giving off and not direct it at the person to attack them, then you will find them disarmed and whatever negative force is at work in that individual usually stops antagonizing you. This is how you confront someone without being confrontational, and it’s key to getting to your destination without a long delay. When we respond to toxic people by being all mad and worked up, we open the door to anger, malice and strife. Some people love to create this kind of atmosphere. So sad. This is one of the reasons the emotionally unintelligent stay stuck. Many of them have criminal charges because they get locked up because they never learned how to respond to a difficulty. Many end up divorced, unable to find a job, without opportunities and wondering why.

No one ever coached them on expressing themselves without anger. No one ever taught them that it’s okay to disagree or share an opinion that others may not like respectfully. They never learned how to speak to people. There are many of you on the verge of losing quality people in your life because you won’t learn to appreciate them and communicate with them properly. Before it’s too late, take heed. No matter how good a person is, everyone gets to a point of being fed up. Don’t push someone to the edge with your stupidity and your inability to make adjustments within your heart and mind. So many people bottle up their emotions and pretend to be what they aren’t in an effort to delay the inevitable. Many of you have tried to stay in an unhappy marriage. You have tried to delay things and wait for the other person to catch up with you but then one day the time comes where you can’t delay it any longer. Some of you have been trying to wait for your family, friends or team to get better but they won’t. They’re keeping you stuck. This is resonating with some of you today because you too have become tired of the performance. You just want to take off and move closer to your dream destination. You’ve realized that performing and presenting yourself in a way that dishonors your authenticity is toxic for your ascent.

I encourage you today to eliminate what’s keeping you stagnant. Get rid of what’s keeping you from smiling and enjoying this journey. Life is short. People are dying everyday. Don’t let your love for other people keep you from loving yourself. You are going somewhere great! Don’t let anyone delay your flight. Today’s your day to soar! There’s a saying that goes delay is not denial. That’s sorta true. Actually you can miss your chance to take flight if you don’t move when you should. None of us are getting any younger. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #delay #goingplaces #ascend #travel #flying #flight #people #mentality #mindset #destination #stuck #flightdelays #life #blogger #destiny

Where are you going? Seriously? Where!? Are you going to get up out of the bed? Get dressed?? Leave the house? Then what? Where are you headed after you leave out the door? Who will you spend your time with? What will you all do when you get “there?” Will you only move if the people you’re connected to move? Is your destiny so tied to them that you need their permission to move? What kind of conversation will you have when you get there? How are you planning to operate? What are you planning to eat? How is what you take into your body and mind going to effect you when you reach your destination?

These might seem like silly, trivial, unimportant questions, but the people who go to great destinations ask themselves these questions everyday. You see, without a plan or a strategy for your day, week, life; circumstances and people will decide for you. People will quickly conclude that you’re not going anywhere important when they see how you spend your time, who you hang out with, how you think and operate. They’ll try to predict your future by the way you talk. They’ll take notice to the statements that you make about yourself, whether they are negative or positive. The reality is, after these people make their assessment concerning whether or not they think you are doing anything of monumental value; they will take over your life if you seem unsure about who you are. This is why you’ve got to know who you are! Study yourself and make adjustments to the areas in your life that are in direct conflict to your ascent. Can you accelerate and excel thinking like that? You’ve got to be ready to do some inner work if you’re going to answer some of these questions. Especially when I ask you the question of the day; WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

See, you need to know this before you let another person into your life. Some of you keep attracting users and knuckleheads because you seem too casual about your worth. The more you play around with who you associate with and where you go on this flight called life; the more it will impact your take off. Many of you are stuck on the taxi ramp of life because the plane can’t go to a place you won’t decide. Because your style is so blasé and relaxed, you literally have people sitting waiting on you. Some people are waiting on your leadership. Indecision is a lack of commitment to going somewhere great and it can keep you from going anywhere.

There’s a quote that says “Indecision is a decision.” Indecision is ultimately a decision to go nowhere. The longer you stay unsure about your life, the longer life will make all your decisions for you. If you asked me, it’s far better to make a bad decision than to get used to never making a decision at all. Many people who never take off in life have really done themselves and the people connected to them a disservice. An indecisive parent can teach their children to live their whole life in Indecision. Don’t allow the negative committee that meets in your head to keep you from making progress. Decide on something; but don’t you dare say I don’t know what to do about another decision you’re faced with. Stop saying you need more time. Some people love to say they’re going to pray about it and they use that as an excuse to never do a thing. That’s a defense mechanism that holds a lot of you back from greatness. There’s proof that lessons are learned by people with much more impact when they fail. So stop letting the possibility of failure keep you in indecision. Fail if you have to. Just make a decision for once and for all! Give someone a chance and go out on the date instead of remaining so clueless and indecisive about whether or not it’s going to work. You never know unless you try.

Pick a dress and wear it with confidence and stop analyzing why you can’t commit to a decision. It’s just a dress. It baffles me to see intelligent women become nincompoops on Say Yes To The Dress. They will try on dozens of dresses; waiting for a dress to make them cry before they make a decision! Really? Seriously? Just pick a dress already! Once you get married you’ll find zillions of reasons to cry. Trust me 😂😂😂!!! But really I’m so serious that it’s time you stop waiting on a feeling before you make a move. People have such a hard time making decisions and my belief is that this is due to fear. When it comes to selecting a house, car, job, school, church, gym, pick one! At the end of the day, you are the one that will decide the outcome of wherever you go! You decide to enjoy the vacation or complain about it! You decide whether you like the job or not. You decide whether or not you’re going to love the experience or hate it. The experience doesn’t decide. See, you can be in a desert situation with the right attitude and still find a way to be happy. On the flip side, you can be in a castle, living the life of the rich and famous and still be miserable. The choice is up to you and how you think. Your mentality decides where you go! Not what anyone else says or does can determine your outcome or outlook unless you let it. It’s your mentality that determines this journey you’re on. Often, we try to blame the circumstances we face on why we feel the way we feel, but it really boils down to the simple fact – YOU DECIDE WHERE YOU GO!

Stop allowing everyone to decide for you. The reason a lot of you let people do this in your life is so you can never take responsibility for where you end up in life. It gives you an out; and you can always place the blame on your mom, dad, family and friends if things don’t go the way you planned. But if you have the boldness to decide where you go in life, you’ll be able to say I’m where I am because I was courageous enough to spread my wings and make a decision. It’s your life and if it’s ever going to go somewhere great, make the decision for yourself that you’re not stopping until you see what others said was impossible for you!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flying #flight #people #wings #decision #indecision #whereareyougoing #greatplaces #great #destination #blogger #mentality #mindset #sayyestothedress #sayyestothedate #sayyestosomething #choose

I don’t normally blog on Saturday, but today I felt compelled to share something that’s on my heart with my coachable friends. My thought today is strictly about humility. Humility is a modest view of one’s own importance. This quality, if you asked me is one of the biggest reasons so many people never truly take off in life!

People are so arrogant these days and no matter how hard you try to hide it; everyone can see it. There I said it. It’s true. You can act as humble as you want, but there is a difference between genuine humility and false humility. No matter how much you smile and try to seem sweet, or nice; you cannot fool anyone when you lack humility. It will reveal itself one way or another. Humility doesn’t mean you lack confidence, it just means you are authentically you and you don’t try to pretend to be anything other than your own flawed, quirky, unique self. It means you also have teachers, meaning someone out here can tell you about yourself and you adjust! That just means you humble yourself when some people tell you that your heads getting too big.

You see this is what makes genuinely humble people and fake humble people stand apart. They are the accountable vs the unaccountable. You see it on social media to the degree that it’s alarming. People who clearly answer to no one. No humility at all. Do you have any real friends? If you did you wouldn’t look like such a clown to everyone. How many selfies are you going to take? How much validation do you need from people regarding how great you think you are? Who counsels you; that you actually allow to speak into your life? If you asked me, the people who know their true worth aren’t looking for validation from a bunch of “Facebook friends” or Instagram followers! Insert preach! They get their validation from their teachers and those they have allowed themselves to be answerable to. It’s really sad to see so much false humility on display. Even Stevie Wonder can see through the fog of fake sincerity in this culture today. As hard as many people try to conceal how disingenuous they are; it’s often boldly revealed in their lingo and the desperate attempts of the “humble” to display their brand or gift to the world.

Unfortunately, many of these same “humble” folk are missing out on the opportunity to be mentored and trained by the people who have “it,” but no one can fit in the room with their egotistical attitudes. It’s sickening. To run across people who claim to be so amazing in their craft but they lack the basic skills needed to take off. These delusional dear hearts surround themselves with people who stroke their gigantic egos and don’t even have the capacity to know what quality is when it’s standing in their face. It’s like the people who try out for American Idol but can’t sing. Their family and friends told them they were great. Why are you getting feedback from people who you know don’t have a clue? I really believe you’re not good at what you do until your enemies can’t help but acknowledge your gift.

Sadly, no one ever tells the delusional the truth; that if they want to be a writer they need to work on their writing. That they need to find people who can help them get better. They desperately surround themselves with people who don’t have the capacity to help them improve. So even if you want to be a great musician, then you need teachers in your field that you have enough respect for to shut up and let them teach you. The mentality of the culture today is to call anyone who offers feedback a hater. Now, now! You know good and well everyone can’t be a hater. Some people are actually telling you the truth and they really do have wisdom that could help you go to the next level; but your unfounded sense of superiority is making a fool out of you and it’s also making you an island in the arena you think you’re so great in.

There’s a scripture in the Bible that says something to the effect like – Let other people praise you and not you yourself. It’s basically saying if you’re so great, people will say it. If you’re so amazing, you’re going to be celebrated in whatever field you have attained this level of greatness. That you don’t have to tell us how incredible of a talent you are, if you really are people will say it for you, especially the other people in your field. My advice is simple – Don’t allow your sense of self importance to limit your opportunities and some of the crucial relationships that can help you go somewhere great. Humility is an important characteristic needed to go somewhere great. This means you must be willing to admit you don’t know everything. That you don’t need to defend yourself when wisdom speaks. That sometimes it’s okay to be silent and learn. The fake humble are always ready to correct beyond their level of expertise. They can never admit that sometimes they’re actually wrong and that there are actually some people on this flight called life who have more knowledge and experience than they do. Don’t be so cocky that you push your help away. And let me say this – there is a vibe, an energy, an attitude you can give off to wisdom that says you’re a smart aleck.

Smart aleck – a person who is irritating because they behave as if they know everything.

I usually refrain from investing in these types of individuals. They’re just not coachable or teachable. It’s sad. The bottom line is no one is going to pour into you if they sense you’re a smart aleck. See, there are some quality people out here who could step in and assist you in your elevation, but you must humble yourself. Breathe. I know it’s hard to accept all of this – especially if you’re not humble yet. But try to process and receive this. Try to take it all in and settle your spirit. It really is possible to change your mindset and ascend. The saying is true “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” At the end of the day; no legitimate source of wisdom and insight is going to sit in the presence of arrogance for long. Eventually, you will turn off the help you need to get to your next destination all because you lack the humility needed to go somewhere great.

I hope you get to your destination! I hope it’s not a frustrating journey either because you can literally send off indicators to others that make it harder for your ascent. Especially if you alienate the people who can help you ascend on this flight called life. Don’t confuse money or popularity with giftedness. Some of you are missing out on the insight of your greatest mentors in life, because you haven’t developed the heart of humility needed for you to take off yet. I’m rooting for you. Some of you have the potential to go far; but you need a vehicle to get further. Don’t dishonor the vehicle sent to bless you and help you go somewhere great on this flight called life.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #humility #travel #takeoff #people #mentality #mindset #blogger #dmv #tellyourstory #vehicle #flight