therealestlifecoach.com

https://anchor.fm/sherry-grant/episodes/Family-and-Church-Captivity-aka-Stockholm-Syndrome-ecs4kr

There’s enough drama going on. Please calm down. Don’t add to it. Stop being so extra. You’re too blessed to sit around stressing over trivial matters. It’s not your job to control people. Your life is enough for you to stay busy. You have yet to reach perfection so leave your family alone. Stop enabling and supporting them to be deadbeats and only do what you do from a place of pure motivation.

Most people are upset and resentful because they gave from a place of their deficiency. That’s the wrong type of motivation. Let whatever motivates you to do what you do come from a place of overflow. Make your motivation come from a place of love, instead of trying to make someone else love you. Don’t do what you do to make people loyal to you. These are all motivated from a place of manipulation and selfishness. That’s why you end up feeling duped. You did whatever your act of kindness trying to do business. Once you didn’t get what you think you deserved you got mad. Doesn’t that sound like you and how you approach relationship. Today is the day to only do what you do because you sincerely want to. Don’t show up because you want them to show up for you too. Unless you’re willing to communicate your intentions, don’t get mad when the other person doesn’t read your thoughts. It’s time you take off. Get off that level you’re on where you continue to use your powers so foolishly. Be patient. Patient with yourself, the people in your life. We are all in this together. I’m The Realest Life Coach and I approve this message.

Don’t expect a clown to come without the circus.

I asked a very not well known gospel artist to be in my first play. And the reason I asked was because I liked their music. They were good. But not as good as they handled me. Lol. Long story short, they turned me down. And it’s not like they had a legitimate reason. Now their schedule is always open. No one is booking them. As a matter of fact, they didn’t even turn me down. Actually they just didn’t even have the decency to reply which is probably the most insulting response a person can give you.

Well,… anyhoo. I moved on. This was back in 2000 and believe it or not the group Destiny’s Child was huge then. Some real life clowns aka haters try to diminish who they were as far as their fame back then, well mainly because they said yes to being in my show. You gotta love the passive aggressive invalidations some people try make to belittle you and discredit you. My point is – Destiny’s Child was big even then. They were regularly on MTV and main stages back in 2000 and believe it or not, when I reached out and asked them to be in my first play. They gladly said yes and treated me so nice. It was a pleasure working with them.

The irony is, some of the most conflicted in their identity will look at opportunities given by people they have little to no respect for and pass on them or do them with this attitude like they’re doing someone a favor. That’s your prerogative. I’ve been dissed by much better than some of the no name people who have no audience and no ticket selling power who act like my offers are not worthy or impressive enough for them. I make it a practice of mine to treat the people I work with well. And many if they’re honest will say they have come to my small production company and gotten treated better and paid better than the big name company’s they do their Stepin Fetchit act for.

It’s telling. So telling. The sad reality is that a lot of these people don’t have the integrity to ever really take off. Sadly, most of these superficial people have no clue who they are so they attach themselves to image rather than substance. It’s amazing how many broke people will turn down money and say yes to freebies. Especially if they get to hang around people who don’t respect them. Makes you wonder if people are more concerned with their social identity than they should be?

I am determined to keep pursuing relationships with people who are committed to authenticity. The real take off comes when you stop being an opportunist and handle people with dignity and respect no matter what you think they can do for you.

At the end of the day, if you wanna be a clown, be prepared to get treated like one. There’s no level up for low lives. This is true for all relationships. When you bring much to the table, don’t let anyone discredit you. It’s toxic to try and downplay what a person has done for you and been to you because they’re not famous. Don’t be a clown unless you wanna be treated like one.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #takeoff #clowns #destinyschild #gooff #respect #muchrespect #disrespectful #circus #identity #blog #blogger

You will be fine. Even if you don’t straighten your life out and start doing what’s necessary to be a better person, you will still be fine. Some of you will be fine living with the same drama and dysfunctional people who you have for so long. Some of you will be fine living your life like the adult infant you are. Never taking responsibility for your stuff. Never learning from your mistakes. Never leaving the childish ways of living and thinking behind.

You’ll be fine sabotaging every relationship meant to help you become better. It might not sound like it’s fine. But it is. Sadly, dysfunctional people seem to love their dysfunction. I’m convinced some people will never change. They’re never going to appreciate a good woman. A good man. Some people will never get it through their head that their loyalties are destructive and inappropriate. The apostle Paul said when I was a child, I carried myself that way and my life reflected the life of a child. I’m paraphrasing but you get the point. He was basically saying some people love their messy, unremarkable lives and they’ll be fine living at the low level they have become so accustomed to.

Not me. Hopefully not you. Those of us who are going places are not fine being involved in toxic relationships and trying to convince idiots to grow up. You’ll be fine. The sooner you stop apologizing for having standards. At the end of the day, the only people who have a problem with you having standards are the people who can manipulate you into thinking you’re crazy for wanting better.

I encourage you to make the bold decision to leave losers to deal with the consequences of their constant immaturity and resistance to change. You’ll be fine. They will too. Everyone will be fine with whatever they accept and whatever they refuse. You’ll be fine with whatever you’re fine with.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #takeoff #losers #adultinfants #toxicpeoplewillbefinewiththeirtoxicreality #mentality #mindset #blog #blogger

ON THIS JOURNEY TO BECOMING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. THERE WILL BE JOY AND PAIN. ONE OF THE HARDEST PILLS TO SWALLOW IS WHILE WORKING ON BEING YOUR BEST SELF, YOU’RE CONSTANTLY DEALING WITH THE PEOPLE YOU DO LIFE WITH. WHAT ARE THEIR INTENTIONS? DO THEY MEAN ME ANY GOOD? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

THE SAYING GOES GOOD FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND. AND IT IS TRUE. IT’S HARD TO FIND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE WITH NO HIDDEN AGENDA OR ULTERIOR MOTIVE. 

YOU CAN ALMOST FEEL THE ENGERY OF A PERSON WHO HANGS AROUND YOU WITH A SNEAKY INTENTION. YOUR GUT OR YOUR INTUITION WILL BEGIN TO SPEAK TO YOU. YOU’LL START TO NOTICE THINGS ABOUT THEM. HOW THEY WORD THINGS. ONE MINUTE YOU’LL BE ONE THING TO THEM AND THEN THE NEXT MINUTE YOUR ROLE TO THEM SHIFTS.

IF YOU’RE REALLY COMMITTED TO STOP BEING FAKE, THIS IS A DECIDING MOMENT FOR YOU. DO I ADDRESS WHAT I’M FEELING IN THIS MOMENT, OR DO I SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG.

FOR ME, I MAKE THE DECISION TO SAY SOMETHING TO THAT PEROSN IF THAT PERSON IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE CALLING THEM ON THEIR CRAP. IS THIS PERSON WORTH MY INVESTMENT? RELATIONSHIPS ARE INVESTMENTS. SOME PEOLE PROVE TO BE BAD INVESTMENTS. YOU’RE JUST WASTING YOUR BREATH TRYING TO GET SOME PEOPLE TO BE REAL. THEY CANT. THEY’RE NOT READY FOR THAT LEVEL OF HONESTY YET.

SEE, FOR ME,…I’M NOT EVEN ABOUT TO ASK YOU ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE BEING A FAKE FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER IF I HAVE ALL THE RECEIPTS. IF YOU SHOW ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT YOU’RE NOT TRUSTWORTHY, THAT YOU’RE TWO FACED, THAT YOU DON’T VALUE ME, THEN WHATS THE USE OF SPENDING A BUNCH OF TIME AND MENTAL ENERGY ON YOU. 

SOME OF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME TRYING TO REHABILITATE PEOPLE WILL NEVER CHANGE. 

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST OPPORTUNIST. SOME PEOPLE GO EVERYWHERE TRYING TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN GET. NEVER TO GIVE. 

LET’S JUST ACCEPT THAT. ACCEPTANCE IS A HUGE PART OF HEALING FROM YOUR PAST PAIN AND TRAUMA. 

IF YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE ARE THE WAY THEY ARE AND MOST OF THE TIME IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU WILL SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT. 

ACEEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE AND STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM. THATS NOT YOUR JOB. THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOU AND MANY OF US ARE HAVING A HARD TIME WITH THAT.

ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE ARE FLAKY AND WISHY WASHY AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. IT’S NOT MY JOB TO STRAIGHTEN PEOPLE OUT. IT’S NOT MY PURPOSE TO MAKE PEOPLE SEE THEIRS A BETTER WAY FOR THEM TO LIVE. 

IF PEOPLE WANT TO THEY WILL. IF THEY DON’T THEY WONT. 

THAT GOES FOR YOUR SPOUSE, KIDS, BOSS, FRIENDS,….

ACCEPT YOUR TOXIC FAMILY FOR WHO THEY ARE. YES, YOU MAY LOVE THEM AND ALL, BUT THEY’RE HALF THE REASON YOU’RE SO TRAUMATIZED. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU BUT THEY WEREN’T. 

ACCEPT IT. LEARN FROM IT AND GROW FROM IT. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WERE GOIING THROUGH WITHOUT THEM SPREADING IT AND SHARING IT WITH THE ENTIRE FAMILY.  YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO WONDER IF THEIR INTENTIONS TOWARDS YOU WERE PURE. BUT YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN.

ARE YOU?

YOU SHOULD’NT HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND WHO YOU SHARED PERSONAL SECRETS WITH USING IT AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FEEL VULNERABLE, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. 

IT HAPPEN, AND NOW HERE YOU ARE FULL OF EXAMPLES. USE THEM TO BECOME A MORE STABLE PERSON WHO DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK TO OTHERS FOR ACCEPTANCE. FIND ACCEPTANCE IN BEING ASSURED THAT NOTHING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING DOES HAS MUCH TO DO WITH YOU.

 HOPEFULLY MOVING FORWARD YOU’RE MORE DISCERNING OFTHE QUALITY OF PEOPLE YOU INVTIE INTO CLOSE RELATIONSHIP.

REMEMBER NO ONE IS PERFECT. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, YOU CANT CONTINUE TO IGNORE THAT SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT WORTHY OF AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO PRACTICE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE FROM THIS DAY FORWARD. STOP ROMANTICIZING THAT PEOPLE WILL CHANGE BASED ON POTENTIAL. POTENTIAL IS NOTHING UNTIL IT IS ACTIVATED.

PRACTICE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE,…..AND IN ORDER TO DO THAT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT WHAT IT. YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE REALITY.

AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE SOME PEOPLE, THEY WILL NOT BE TO YOU WHAT YOU ARE TO THEM. THIS IS GOING TO SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEARTACHE.

FIGURE OUT WHT YOU CAN CONROL AND WHAT YOU CANT STOP FIGHTING REALITY 

LEARN HOW TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT DESPITE YOUR PAIN.