therealestlifecoach.com

i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

ON THIS JOURNEY TO BECOMING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. THERE WILL BE JOY AND PAIN. ONE OF THE HARDEST PILLS TO SWALLOW IS WHILE WORKING ON BEING YOUR BEST SELF, YOU’RE CONSTANTLY DEALING WITH THE PEOPLE YOU DO LIFE WITH. WHAT ARE THEIR INTENTIONS? DO THEY MEAN ME ANY GOOD? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

THE SAYING GOES GOOD FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND. AND IT IS TRUE. IT’S HARD TO FIND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE WITH NO HIDDEN AGENDA OR ULTERIOR MOTIVE. 

YOU CAN ALMOST FEEL THE ENGERY OF A PERSON WHO HANGS AROUND YOU WITH A SNEAKY INTENTION. YOUR GUT OR YOUR INTUITION WILL BEGIN TO SPEAK TO YOU. YOU’LL START TO NOTICE THINGS ABOUT THEM. HOW THEY WORD THINGS. ONE MINUTE YOU’LL BE ONE THING TO THEM AND THEN THE NEXT MINUTE YOUR ROLE TO THEM SHIFTS.

IF YOU’RE REALLY COMMITTED TO STOP BEING FAKE, THIS IS A DECIDING MOMENT FOR YOU. DO I ADDRESS WHAT I’M FEELING IN THIS MOMENT, OR DO I SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG.

FOR ME, I MAKE THE DECISION TO SAY SOMETHING TO THAT PEROSN IF THAT PERSON IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE CALLING THEM ON THEIR CRAP. IS THIS PERSON WORTH MY INVESTMENT? RELATIONSHIPS ARE INVESTMENTS. SOME PEOLE PROVE TO BE BAD INVESTMENTS. YOU’RE JUST WASTING YOUR BREATH TRYING TO GET SOME PEOPLE TO BE REAL. THEY CANT. THEY’RE NOT READY FOR THAT LEVEL OF HONESTY YET.

SEE, FOR ME,…I’M NOT EVEN ABOUT TO ASK YOU ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE BEING A FAKE FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER IF I HAVE ALL THE RECEIPTS. IF YOU SHOW ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT YOU’RE NOT TRUSTWORTHY, THAT YOU’RE TWO FACED, THAT YOU DON’T VALUE ME, THEN WHATS THE USE OF SPENDING A BUNCH OF TIME AND MENTAL ENERGY ON YOU. 

SOME OF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME TRYING TO REHABILITATE PEOPLE WILL NEVER CHANGE. 

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST OPPORTUNIST. SOME PEOPLE GO EVERYWHERE TRYING TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN GET. NEVER TO GIVE. 

LET’S JUST ACCEPT THAT. ACCEPTANCE IS A HUGE PART OF HEALING FROM YOUR PAST PAIN AND TRAUMA. 

IF YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE ARE THE WAY THEY ARE AND MOST OF THE TIME IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU WILL SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT. 

ACEEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE AND STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM. THATS NOT YOUR JOB. THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOU AND MANY OF US ARE HAVING A HARD TIME WITH THAT.

ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE ARE FLAKY AND WISHY WASHY AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. IT’S NOT MY JOB TO STRAIGHTEN PEOPLE OUT. IT’S NOT MY PURPOSE TO MAKE PEOPLE SEE THEIRS A BETTER WAY FOR THEM TO LIVE. 

IF PEOPLE WANT TO THEY WILL. IF THEY DON’T THEY WONT. 

THAT GOES FOR YOUR SPOUSE, KIDS, BOSS, FRIENDS,….

ACCEPT YOUR TOXIC FAMILY FOR WHO THEY ARE. YES, YOU MAY LOVE THEM AND ALL, BUT THEY’RE HALF THE REASON YOU’RE SO TRAUMATIZED. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU BUT THEY WEREN’T. 

ACCEPT IT. LEARN FROM IT AND GROW FROM IT. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WERE GOIING THROUGH WITHOUT THEM SPREADING IT AND SHARING IT WITH THE ENTIRE FAMILY.  YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO WONDER IF THEIR INTENTIONS TOWARDS YOU WERE PURE. BUT YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN.

ARE YOU?

YOU SHOULD’NT HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND WHO YOU SHARED PERSONAL SECRETS WITH USING IT AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FEEL VULNERABLE, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. 

IT HAPPEN, AND NOW HERE YOU ARE FULL OF EXAMPLES. USE THEM TO BECOME A MORE STABLE PERSON WHO DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK TO OTHERS FOR ACCEPTANCE. FIND ACCEPTANCE IN BEING ASSURED THAT NOTHING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING DOES HAS MUCH TO DO WITH YOU.

 HOPEFULLY MOVING FORWARD YOU’RE MORE DISCERNING OFTHE QUALITY OF PEOPLE YOU INVTIE INTO CLOSE RELATIONSHIP.

REMEMBER NO ONE IS PERFECT. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, YOU CANT CONTINUE TO IGNORE THAT SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT WORTHY OF AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO PRACTICE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE FROM THIS DAY FORWARD. STOP ROMANTICIZING THAT PEOPLE WILL CHANGE BASED ON POTENTIAL. POTENTIAL IS NOTHING UNTIL IT IS ACTIVATED.

PRACTICE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE,…..AND IN ORDER TO DO THAT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT WHAT IT. YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE REALITY.

AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE SOME PEOPLE, THEY WILL NOT BE TO YOU WHAT YOU ARE TO THEM. THIS IS GOING TO SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEARTACHE.

FIGURE OUT WHT YOU CAN CONROL AND WHAT YOU CANT STOP FIGHTING REALITY 

LEARN HOW TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT DESPITE YOUR PAIN. 

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