Our relationships are not good for us unless they help us grow. The people who make us feel better about our mess may meet a selfish need for us in the moment, but they’re not helpful to us taking off in life. I often tell the parents of those I mentor that even though you think your child is so cute and adorable and can do no wrong, there’s a multitude of other people who don’t feel the same way. If we can grasp hold of this viewpoint and understand this concept then we would do whatever it takes to help prepare the people we love to go places in life rather than cripple them to stay dependent on us and our constant pampering and support. This got me to thinking about how insane it is for us to want to go somewhere great while ignoring the need for us to change.
Literally there’s someone sitting somewhere mad at the world and every voice of wisdom that tries to make a deposit in their life because they tell them the truth. Makes you wonder, would people really be happy if the real ones in their life told them lies? Would they be better off if they only surrounded themselves with the ones who ignored their obnoxious tendencies and never challenged them to go higher? Would you? It kind of made me somewhat sad to think that most people are content with people loving them to death. If people love you to the point where they let you over eat, stay getting high or intoxicated, sleep around, run your mouth and ruin your reputation, they’re actually loving you to death. If they love you to the point where they say nothing about how lazy, selfish, stubborn, arrogant, one sided and insecure you are; they’re loving you to death. If the doctor knew you had an life threatening diagnosis and kept it a secret because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings he could be sued for malpractice and you ultimately end up dying without the opportunity to make any changes. This is the definition of insanity yet this how many people want you to relate to them. Don’t tell me anything I don’t want to hear. How did we become such a self centered culture where we except people to love us based on our definition and terms and if they don’t perfectly live up to our unrealistic expectations and standards we declare them unfit to be in our lives!? Our cut off game is strong! Makes you wonder if you even want to hang out with someone who thinks that way. In psychology this is the definition of a controlling manipulative person. Yep. That’s what they are. If a person wants you to walk a tight rope in exchange for their love and affection that’s an abusive and toxic relationship. No one, I repeat no one should waste their time trying to please someone who expects you to do what they want to qualify being loved by them.
On this flight called life there’s only two kinds of people – there are those who are going places and those who are stuck. This could be emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially,.., you get my drift. If you want to go somewhere in life, make up your mind to be genuine and sincere in your interactions with others, but don’t you dare let anyone make you feel imprisoned by their demands. Relationships are give and take, compromise, seeing the other person’s perspective, healthy dialogue and communication. So if we are in our right mind, at the end of the day you and I can only be in control of how we see things. If your perspective is the problem, work on it. I guarantee you no one is going anywhere great in life until they begin to see things from a healed mentality.
Your mentality is made up of the attitudes that govern your mind. Ask yourself today, what attitudes are in control of my mind? You must do the inner work so that you won’t stay stuck! I want you to grow but the onus is on you.
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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