One of the first things people ask me about my marriage and my relationship with my husband is “Where did you meet him?” It was actually my first year of college. He was a senior. I was a freshman. About 30 years later (25 married) and lots of twists and turns, we are still together and that’s only by the grace of God and a lot of hard work on our part to make things better. Got me to thinking this morning while I was meditating about the location we meet people and how so often this gives us a lot of insight on where the relationship is headed on this journey called life. The place you meet a person tells you a lot about where they are on this flight.
Not saying there aren’t exceptions to this, but if you meet someone at a sketchy place and then have all these expectations that they’ll snap into the ideal mate, sister, friend, business partner when you’re ready for them to, is like setting yourself up for some major disappointment. And please don’t get me wrong, you can be bamboozled by people anywhere no matter the location. Sometimes even if you go to church or join some noble group or cause and think you’ve met the perfect person, you still have to deal with the painful truth that you’ve met a demon in a great location. People can be a sneaky and sometimes those with the worst intentions study locations to do their mess. Some of the most disingenuous people hide themselves behind good causes at upstanding locations. Some of these “wolves in sheeps clothing” do a lot of stuff to impress innocent people only for them to find out in the end it was all a show. There are those who literally scope out places to find helpless victims to take advantage of. Disney for instance is one of the biggest places for child predators to go. They love it there. Hiding behind Mickey Mouse and the fact that children love this place. These wicked monsters know they can go there and find vulnerable little people to attack. Then they do whatever they do to make themselves appear one way to people only for their innocent prey to find out these imposters are not at all what they presented themselves to be.
This is why those of you who are going places in life have got to approach everything you say and do with a great deal of sobriety. You’ve got be smart. You’ve got to be discerning. You can’t be like little red riding hood. Not at this age and stage of your life. You’ve got to be able to see the wolf for who he is and discern that’s he is not your grandmother. Discern those who are disguising themselves as your friend, family or future mate, that they are really a monster who want nothing more than to destroy you under that cloak. Beware on this flight called life and understand that there are deceitful people with wrong motives and you must be able to see them for who they are. Look beyond the cloak of flattery and the false imagery.
I’m really believing that your level of discernment and wisdom goes to a higher level in this next season of your life. And not that you’ll become all paranoid and insecure when it comes to genuine people in your life who are trying to grow and get better; but instead that you will see the people that mean you no good for who they are and govern yourself accordingly. See, it’s vital that you lose that silly childlike gullible mindset that looks past the red flags in friendships, business and even family. You’ve got to get beyond that need to be liked. Deal with your codependency now. Stop needing approval from others and approve yourself. Location of self is vital before you can locate anyone else. I had to take someone home one day and I asked her where she lived and this fool said ” I don’t know!” I told her it was going to be impossible for me to take her somewhere if she didn’t know that information first. I can’t make this stuff up. Bottom line – Stop expecting people to take you somewhere when you don’t even know who you are.
Communication and some basic skills are necessary to go anywhere on this flight and some of these people who want to play games and dance around important issues are hiding something. See, you shouldn’t have to prod and poke around and dance around any subject matter with people you’re trying to go somewhere with. If they can’t be honest and upfront with you, this is an indication you’re dealing with a head case. Maybe they don’t want to talk to you about certain things because they’re not in the mood. That’s fine and dandy, but are you going to be able to have a grown up relationship with someone who’s constantly controlling the progress of your life and destiny because of their moods? Nah fam. Waiting to discuss things when you’re not emotional or angry is a wisdom key. But why are you always stirred up, emotional and angry like that about stupid stuff? That should be the real question. Why are you always in a bad mood, temperamental or inflamed? That’s a red flag! It’s a warning sign that danger is ahead if you stay on this flight with them. If they make it a habit to stop talking to you, giving you the cold shoulder, or whatever they call it; they’re showing you how they handle conflict. Not well at all. Conflict is a fundamental part of life and if they can’t handle that part of life with you they’re telling you that this aircraft is liable to crash and burn at this rate.
None of us are getting any younger, and that’s a fact. Yet, it’s almost impossible to ignore the immaturity of some of these people we are traveling with. Not everything should turn into a major issue or tug of war. Some situations are not even worth you getting all worked up and in your feelings about. I believe that anytime our emotions go to a location where we aren’t under control anymore it’s a signal to us and others that we still have some unhealed wounds. That’s a location. Today I want you to locate the tender areas that bring up something in you that reminds you that you still need therapy. It’s okay. Schedule an appointment with me today. I’m here for you. Just do what you have to do to locate those areas in your emotions that remind you why you need to go back to church or join AA or NA. Take the initiative like a boss and go there for yourself. Don’t let anyone else take you to that place. Don’t let them get you wound up or in that place of rage or shutting down again. You know what takes you to that location. Those names, certain conversations or memories that take you there. Stop letting things control you negatively. As a grown up man or woman, make the courageous decision that I’m going to a place that’s going to lead me to my dream destination in the end. May not get there today. May not get there tomorrow, but I promise you that if you stay connected to wisdom and remain humble you’ll get there. I’m so sure of it.
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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