On our flight yesterday the copilot had to use the potty. Everyone acted sooo surprised when she stepped out of her position to go to the restroom. I was captivated and fascinated by the level of care, attention and seriousness the flight crew took. As soon as the copilot stepped out of the cockpit, one of the flight crew members stepped in and took her place until she returned. While she used the restroom, another member of the team put a partition, almost like a gate up to let passengers know not to come this way. They were literally protecting the copilot while she took care of what she needed to take care of. That’s a word right there.
Truthfully, all of us need people who will cover us like this when we have a human moment. You’ll be ready for Sheppard Pratt if you have to keep holding everything in just because of your title, position, gender, status, role,… the bottom line is EVERYONE HAS TO GO! You can’t be perfect for people all the time. You can’t always be the one doing all the giving, making all the sacrifices, bearing all the weight and burden. You need people that help you out too. You need healthy outlets, genuine people, and safe environments where you can be free! Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to perform anyway? Who did that to you? Who told you that you have to live your life this way?!! Unlearn that! My hope is that you will become so used to living and feeling free that you won’t go back to anything or anyone that makes you hold it in ever again!
The same way the people on my flight were shocked to see the copilot step out of the cockpit to use the restroom is why our culture has placed people in leadership positions on some unreachable pedestal where they are expected to be superhuman. You are not expected to stretch yourself and stretch yourself until you have a breakdown! No! You should not have people around you or a mindset within you that tells you to ignore your needs to please everyone else. You’re not supposed to hold your bladder, or skip meals and never get a chance to get a good nights sleep because people expect you to handle everything! You should not be ignoring your body and your mind to make sure everyone else is emotionally okay. You should not be expected to bypass your physical needs and family’s needs while everyone else on this flight sits back and gets to do whatever they need to do whenever they need to do it. You shouldn’t go broke trying to help people who will watch you suffer and offer nothing but a prayer in your time of need. While I believe prayer changes things, the same people who you helped beyond prayer. The ones you helped with your money and time and counsel, they’ll be the ones to spout out a bunch of one liners and cliches. No! This has got to stop. That’s an unhealthy way to think!
We do this madness even in the family setting. Placing responsible men in positions for them to have ulcers and high blood pressure. Then we tell them they can’t cry. That they need suppress their emotions until it suits our needs. Then all of sudden you want him to cry when he sees you in a dress that cost more than two months mortgage? If he is crying, that’s the real reason!!!! Ha! I believe that if you are privileged enough to find a good man who is caring and wants to cover you and provide for you, you should still be sensitive enough to honor his humanity. He has feelings so don’t be a princess also known as a jerk. In other words, let the man go and feel safe when it comes to his emotional and physical well being. Good men need to be in relationships with respectful, loving women who are committed to taking care of their needs too. They shouldn’t have to feel like they have to walk on egg shells. Being with you shouldn’t feel like they’re in some prison sentence because you want them to be just like your perfect daddy! Newsflash for you; YOUR DAD WASN’T PERFECT EITHER! I don’t care what your mom told you.
I’m sick and tired of seeing people, even some of my real life coachable friends who I counsel who are stressed out and worn out because of the expectations of their toxic family of origin. So many people aren’t able to freely love the people they’re with because they have this jury and judge also known as their family, who are nothing more than a bunch of miserable critics sitting back giving unsolicited advice about every decision and move they make. Tell them to read this blog and highlight this line – MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Shucks! Let people go! Who are you to be analyzing someone else’s affairs anyway? Is your life perfect? Do you have it all together? No! If you went to the gym and ran as much as you run your mouth about people you would be in good shape. That was funny tho!😂😂
My word for my coachable friends today is Let people go! They don’t need people around them if they’re trying to go places that want to keep them masking and bottling up their feelings. They need people around them like the flight crew that covered their copilot when she went to the potty. The bottom line is, we all have to go sometimes. Handle people with the same grace and mercy you want extended to you. Your boss, parents, spouse, leader doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Not even you. And while I’m sure you think you know everything that’s wrong with them, their life is not your business. I’m sure you think you could do their job better than them. In the meantime, do yours to the best of your ability. That’s your power. Not to control other people. Control yourself and for God’s sake please change your mentality and try to help cover the people you’re close to on this flight. Pray for them. Help them. Encourage them. Whoever you feel the need to critique when you see them having a human moment, stop and ask yourself – is this my responsibility? When a person messes up who you think should always cross every t and dot every i; remember EVERYONE HAS TO GO.
The same way you justify your moments of humanity, give them a break too!
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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