The other night I made an assumption that my husband and I were going out to eat, but because he had so much work to do when he got home, he declined dinner with me. Yep, he was too consumed to leave his desk and have dinner with me. SMH. Was I heartbroken? Was I devastated? Crushed? Absolutely NOT! The reason my life and self esteem did not crumble at his no, is because I am absolutely comfortable doing things without company. I realized a long time ago that while I’m on this flight called life there are some places I’ve got to go all by myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not making a big dramatic deal about eating dinner by myself. I wasn’t mad and even brought him a yummy meal back home from the restaurant that I was sure he would enjoy. This whole situation from the other night actually opened up the opportunity for some good ole’ reflection for me and all my real life coachable friends. I can’t emphasize enough how vitally important it is to learn to go places alone, with a good attitude. Going with the right perspective is imperative if you expect to get to your intended destination in life. At the end of the day, all of us have to learn to fly solo.
See, I could have found someone else to go eat with like so many people do when they lose a travel buddy along the way. Some people are seriously afraid to be by themselves. Some people are so codependent on others that they are scared to be alone with themselves. Not me! I learned a long time ago that there is a sense of satisfaction and joy in going places by myself!
I believe that it is not until a person becomes truly comfortable with self that they will ever be the best version of company for other people. Too many adults are so unaware of who they are that they must constantly be in the presence of other people in order to make them feel better about themselves. Some people need to constantly be surrounded by groups, cliques, tribes, family, whatever you call it. And don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe in the power of community, but to need to be around them all the time? Naw! I’ve become happy spending time with me. Be honest, there’s got to be something seriously off in the psychology of an individual who is always seeking approval and validation from outward sources. At some point that person has got to come to grips with the fact that they are trying to fill an emptiness that will never be filled by crowds and company. That’s the saddest part. To come to the harsh realization that most of these people who can’t do anything or go anywhere by themselves are actually surrounded by a bunch of other people in the same boat. See, Eagles don’t fly in packs. Eagles fly alone. They fly solo at high altitudes. Never will you see an eagle flying with a small bird. That’s how you know something is wrong with a full grown person who always has to run to be with their “peeps.” Who claims to be a leader or an eagle yet has such a low level way of thinking? These kind of people I’m talking about love to hang out with other people who have the mentality of a pigeon too. The mentality of pigeons is opposite of an eagle.
Pigeons love to stay on the ground instead of up in the air. It’s a positional thing and the position is in the way they think! Pigeons are also some of the dirtiest and most disgusting animals. They take anything into their system. Eat all kinds of scraps and mess, even their own feces (insert whole message right!). They love to hang out with other people who have the same mentality as they do and I’m finding that a lot of people even in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s have the same mindset and way of living as pigeons. This is another reason why I have learned to love flying solo. Because, the last thing I or anyone else with a leadership mindset need in their life is time wasters who love to stay on the ground. These are the people who can’t move vision forward. They are always pecking at the dumbest things. Their focus is perpetually off. They’re determined to waste their time with foolishness and the others like them who are going nowhere. People who love crowds are constantly packed together, huddled in groups ever consumed with the same garbage like concerns and issues. Constant victims with a woe is me attitude. Nothing ever changes with these crowd pleasers. But a person who’s going places, spends time feeding their spirit and mind. No surprise why I love reading, listening to teaching and motivation. I love engaging in what inspires me and stimulates me to take off and fly! I can’t stand staying stagnate or listening to the repetitive hum drum and drama of people who stay stuck in the same cycles of dysfunction and never change.
The great thing about traveling solo is you find out who you are. When you learn who you are, you instantly become more valuable so when the time comes for you to join with others; it’s life changing! When this happens you are comfortable in your own skin knowing that you can be your authentic self and not worry about whether you’ll be accepted or not. After all, flying solo will teach you that if no one wants to travel with you, you can still be happy flying by yourself.
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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