My 16 year old daughter is excited that it’s almost spring break because she is ready to jump on a plane and travel somewhere. One thing I absolutely love about her is she’s always making plans to fly and do things that are adventurous and fun. She’s not afraid to go places and always wants to see new ways of living! And while she’s been searching for ideas of where to go for a few weeks, as of today, our plans for where we’re going are still up in the air.
This got me to thinking about the other things in my life that are still up in the air; not certain, unsettled. As I thought even deeper about this I realized there are even some relationships and commitments that I used to have that at this point in my journey are actually subject to change too; and the even greater revelation for me is that it’s okay!
It’s actually okay to admit I don’t know everything. Ha! It’s okay for me to be unsure. It’s okay for me to say I need more time to think about “it” whatever it is. It’s okay for me to own up to the fact that I’m no longer committed to some things. It’s okay for me to decide that I’m no longer feeling the same level of inspiration, enthusiasm or passion for something today that I did yesterday. It’s okay to say “I don’t know.” I’m even more excited that I don’t care anymore about what people think about my lack of knowing. I’m okay because my decisions are my decisions and even if parts of my life are up in the air, it’s my life, not opinionated people’s life. The funny part about people is everyone has an opinion about how you should live your life. If only the same people could apply all the good sense, wisdom and expertise they have about your life to theirs! This whole idea of freedom from people and their opinions and plans for your life will change the way you live. It will cause you to soar to new dimensions. When you start living free from what “they” want, you literally rid yourself of excess pressure and no longer have to feel anxious, dumb or incompetent if you don’t have all the answers. I have some practical advice for you: Tell the next person who asks when you’re getting married “It’s up in the air!” Tell the next person who asks when you plan to have kids “It’s up in the air!” When the next jerk comes up to you to stress you about your life plans and goals tell them “It’s up in the air!”
Some people think they’re so accomplished that the real reason they come up to you and ask you a million and one questions about your life is so they can begin to tell you how you need to be like them. Lol. (Insert no thanks)
This whole technique of not giving them anything back will shut a narcissist down. Just tell them your life is up in the air. Tell them your next move is up in the air and you are in no need to rush or force anything to happen. If the job is for you, you’ll get it. If the man or woman is for you, it will organically work out. There is no need for you to drive yourself crazy so you can try to impress someone else who if the truth be told is just as clueless as you are.
Most of us will have to admit we love to make plans and aggressively put things in to action. It makes us feel better about ourselves to tell people our lives are all planned out. But the problem with living this way is, you will begin to create a life where you put yourself under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress. You’ll also stress yourself out and box yourself into sticking with a mapped out life thats only lived to make people feel better. And trust me when I say this, stress will definitely wear you down. Stress will make you look and feel bad. Stress will make you lose your edges. Stress will have you snapping on people and coming off angry and cold. While some stress is a part of life and can’t be avoided, much of what the average person stresses about is a decision!
Dear coachable friends, I sincerely want you to be honest with yourself and look at your life and the things you’re making a choice to stress about. I want you to look at some of the things that you’re allowing to overwhelm you and just say “I’ll get back to you on that.” Then I want you to breathe and replace that anxiety with whatever brings you joy.
Imagine how much you would actually enjoy this journey if you just started telling some people “Right now, I’m up in the air on what direction I’m going.”
This is such a freeing, liberating way to respond to overly dramatic people who try to bring you into their madness when you’re already dealing with your own stuff! And don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be a jerk and act as if you don’t care about other people; it’s just time for you to stop leaving your needs up in the air. The truth is, in all your caring for everyone else, you forgot to take care of you. Now your health, credit, finances and emotions are all out of whack, simply because you’ve left caring for yourself up in the air (insert preach). If you really want to go somewhere on this flight called life, make sure you have a couple dollars to go. That means you can’t give away everything you worked for to keep reckless people going. Unapologetically do your best to be the amazing soul your are; but be sober, level headed and admit it, some people and some things need to be left up in the air in order for you to go higher. At the end of the day, this spring break is going to be symbolic for you if you’ll let it. It’s going to be the first time in a long time that you made a decision to break up with stress and stop leaving your needs up in the air.
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Copyright 2019 Sherry Grant
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