I hear a lesson in almost everything. So there’s no surprise that when they began boarding our flight and announced “Everyone must hold their own boarding pass to get on the plane,” I immediately felt a preach in my spirit. Was the airline giving us a lesson in letting go? Were they teaching parents and children about the importance of boundaries, self realization and accountability by saying that even if you’re 6 years old, you are able to hold your own?
I’m sure some people think that’s just too young. Six year olds can’t possibly be responsible for holding their own ticket to get on the plane? Well can they? I guess it depends on whether they want to go somewhere (speaks in tongues). I’ve seen six year olds master iPads and cellphones. I’ve seen six year olds literally curse their parents out and make decisions about what they want and what they don’t want. And yet somehow, we think six years old is too young to be accountable for holding their own boarding pass. It’s amazing how we allow our children and others in our lives to dictate so much and have so much control, but then when it comes to being responsible and accountable we act like they can’t possibly do that part.
This got me to thinking about this whole “going places” theme which is the theme of my coaching blog. It made me wonder if we really think we are ever truly going places in our own lives, then why don’t we demand that the people we impact and influence (especially our children); carry their own boarding passes!? One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve seen in my life is parents who act as if their children belong to them and who sadly take on this mindset that their children are their property. How can a child who thinks they are the property of their parent ever truly fly in life? How can they fly in relationships if they have to check with their parent? How can they fly in their career if they have to make sure every move is approved by the parent holding their boarding pass for life!?
What a tremendous burden that becomes for parent and child! To think that one never has the right to ascend to wherever or however high they can in life because someone else is always holding their boarding pass. To think that a person can’t get on board with life without checking in and making sure their parent is ok with them flying is like taking a bird and clipping their wings. Making anyone a wingless bird is not true love at all. It’s sick love and it’s truly sad to see so many broken grown ups making their children so helpless. This is when helping them is truly hurting them.
So here’s my advice to all my coachable people today; hold your own boarding pass. Not your children’s, not your spouses, not your family or friends. This trip is only best experienced when you take responsibility for yourself first and foremost. No use in trying to make sure everyone else is straight. Make sure you’re ok. Start with your body, your mind, and your heart. Work on you. I promise, your children, family and friends will get to their destination. Not the one you have planned for them.
Instead of having perfect plans for everyone else and what they should and shouldn’t be; hold your own boarding pass.
Copyright 2019 Sherry Grant
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