i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always felt like I’m out of place here. Laugh if you want. I’m not sure how I ended up on this flight. Even though there are many times I enjoy myself and the company around me, I still don’t feel like I belong here. Here, meaning on this flight. Don’t get me wrong. I love life and enjoy some of my relationships a lot. But then there are those times I don’t necessarily feel there’s any meaning there. In some of these interactions I mean. Makes me ask the question again; where are the real ones? There has to be more people of substance walking around here. There just has to be! I refuse to believe that everyone is walking around here putting on a facade. I don’t want to accept that at 40 and fifty, my peers are so void of depth that they can’t be transparent and honest about their real life status and truth that they really don’t want to change, grow or better themselves. Say it ain’t so, but I’m finding this flight to be nothing more than a place filled with people who say one thing and mean another. People who claim to be blessed but all they do is curse. Very confusing by the way.

Based on my research, this flight seems to be jam packed with people who smile in the faces of people they inwardly dislike. How fake! I don’t get it. Why follow people you don’t like? Why spend time with those you don’t genuinely want to be around? See why I feel like I don’t belong here? This flight is loaded with those who do noble things with a hostile attitude. It’s very odd. It’s like an oxymoron. I can’t stand that about this realm. It’s so toxic. This place is full of people masking their real identity to impress a bunch of people who could care less about them. Insert SMH! Why would you even want the affirmation and praise of people who aren’t even kind to you? Unfortunately, this journey is full of some very rude and impossible people mixed in with people on this realm who want to be liked by them. It’s so confusing to me. Why are there people on here who never open their mouth and say what they mean to the people they should say it to? People on here are determined to stay pretending to be genuine when they’re nothing more than self centered opportunists who no matter how good you are to them, they’ll never reciprocate what you bring to the relationship. I seriously think I’m in the wrong realm and at this stage in my life I’m not even trying to play along. I even think everyone can tell I don’t belong. Then they stand around and take snapshots of me and stare like I’m some exotic bird at the zoo. Meanwhile, I STILL DON’T HAVE ANY DESIRE TO FIT IN! I don’t care to be popular. I don’t care to be endorsed by any of these changeable people around me. I’m good. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all saying there’s not anyone here who I don’t connect with. I’m just saying the remnant is very small.

There realistically aren’t a lot of people who I feel at home with on this realm. These shallow conversations here are proof to my theory that some of these people can’t be real if they tried with all their strength. Think about how much ego comes into play with every encounter with these people on this flight. It’s all about status and who you know and what you do and how much you have. Nobody is interested in real life issues. It’s all about the shallow stuff. There really aren’t a lot of people on this flight who seem comfortable in their own skin. Too many of these folk feel the need to humble brag. Another concept I don’t grasp either. How are you going to humbly boast about yourself? Fun fact; there’s nothing humble about bragging. Sadly it’s happening all day on this flight. We are going to hear about it all, from every detail of your vacation to what’s on your plate for dinner. By the way, and another fun fact – no one cares! I hate to bust your bubble. But then again, on this realm, you actually get more attention for this kind of crap than anything that empowers or informs.

This place is funny and I’m being totally sarcastic when I use the word funny. These people on here will size you up and measure you by the number of people you know, your wardrobe or physical appearance instead of your character and integrity. I am too real for a realm that’s all about image and hype instead of justice and compassion. If you only care about the things a celebrity post, you’re another reason why I hate it here. If you’re more concerned about being accepted by people who you aspire to be like than the ones who take time to pray for you and give you real love and real life support – you are seriously part of the problem here. We are not here on this flight called life to be surfacy people who only care about the things that hit pop culture, meanwhile there are people around us who are doing impactful things and we can help encourage and support them but we don’t see the value right in our face. Make up your mind you know what you’re here for and make sure it’s purposeful. No one cares about your Gucci belt or your couch or your dumb car. Stop it with the glorification of superficial stuff. Your house is a debt unless you paid it off. Stop bragging about things that aren’t real!

The stuff you have should be a reward to living a life of meaning. It certainly should not be the main focus of your life. King Solomon who the Bible says was the richest man to live looked around after accumulating a bunch of wealth and his words were “Vanity, Vanity.” Another translation he said “Meaningless. Meaningless.” That is the exact reason I hate the mentality of this realm because everything everyone is pursuing is meaningless. From Instagram likes to Facebook followers, it means nothing. They’re not your followers and certainly not your real life friends. Stop furthering the meaningless ambition of people who don’t even have real connections with others. Get your life together and decide which realm you want to exist in. Whether it’s the fantasy one or the one where we really want to make a difference on this flight called life.

Copyright © Sherry Grant 2020

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #meaningless #realm #reality #ihateithere #flight #pursuits #traveltips #realpeople #iminthewrongrealm #idontbelonghere #blog #blogger #mindset

4 thoughts on “I Think I’m In The Wrong Realm

  1. Aaron says:

    yeah at some point confusion has to end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joe says:

    Beautifully written, i feel exactly the same way, even before i say anything to people, i notice them looking at me like, where on earth has this creature come from?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You my friend are not alone in feeling this way! I feel the same way!!! By the way, thanks for the lovely compliment!!!!!


  3. Dylan hampton says:

    I think I’m in purgatory. And everyone is in on it. Basically

    Liked by 1 person

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