The main reason why people love playing dumb, if you asked me; is that it keeps them from taking responsibility for their stuff. Seriously! Many of them think if they play dumb with you about the things they aren’t willing to change, they ultimately don’t have to change. Poof! Problem solved at least for them. Many of them know they can easily manipulate you. It’s true.
I listen to supposedly intelligent people make excuses for adults all the time. As if the person is a total moron. They’ll say stuff like “Maybe they don’t know what they’re doing.” I say that’s a load of crap. People aren’t stupid. They only play that game when people let them. Which actually means you could be the reason some people are as dumb as they are today. If you don’t challenge people to think at another level you’ve made it easy for them to stay stupid. It’s sad that so many people are there when it comes to so many of their relationships. How many people are you responsible for playing dumb with?
We are literally in a whole new year but people are still playing dumb with grown people! It’s not cool at all if you asked me. I recently took the mature approach to a challenged relationship I’m in with someone. I wanted to gain clarity and do my best to be sincere and transparent with them. Seemed like the right thing to do. Seemed like the mature step to take in getting things on an upward path. Only problem is, I realized I was trying to move forward with a person who’s ok being stuck and who vehemently wants to continue to play dumb. And they want me to play along as if their behavior is not toxic and unacceptable. No way Jose!
Iyanla Vanzant said it best. “When you see crazy coming towards you, cross the street.” Insert Preach!
Can I offer some simple advice for you today? Don’t play the game with people who want to keep playing dumb. And I’m warning you a head of time. Be ready for them to keep their game playing going when you decide you don’t want to pretend to be stupid with them anymore. When people don’t want to own their crap, expect them to get mad and become defensive with you. I personally, will quickly excuse myself from interactions with you if you are playing games and being toxic with me. It’s totally uncalled for. We are all too old to act like we don’t know when we’re insulting someone’s intelligence. Like when we consistently cross boundaries and do things that we know irritate and dishonor the people we say we want to journey on this flight called life with. Not okay! Disrespect is not okay with me.
At some point, you have to realize that some people are so off in their mentality that they have come to love playing dumb. Some people love acting oblivious to the obnoxious things they’re determined to keep doing. I won’t accept it. I don’t care who you are. I’m growing and working to better myself daily and if you choose to remain an adult infant, knock yourself out. But you will not drain me. In this season, don’t entertain the people who love playing dumb.
Give them as little of your energy as possible and focus on the ones who don’t try to zap you of your joy and life! Trust me, there are some great people out here. I’m saying this to those of us who get discouraged from time to time when we keep trying to see the best in people but they don’t know how to treat you in return. They take your kindness for stupidity. No dear. I’m far from dumb. I see you. I see your manipulative ways. I see your toxic way of doing things. You’re not innocent. You’re a trip. But believe me, there are really some decent people out there who are not committed to testing your patience. There are some real life people out there who you can be safe with. There are people who aren’t ignorant or malevolent. There are people meant to travel this journey with you who are pure hearted are genuine. That’s the problem I have with people who love to play dumb. They lack sincerity. They have truly tapped into a level of malevolence that’s so toxic it’s hard to breathe in their presence.
You and I, the ones who aren’t claiming perfection but we are striving to deal with our stuff; we deserve better than people who love pretending and shucking and jiving. When it comes to family, friends and even business dealings, we don’t deserve sketchy, sneaky people who have ulterior motives posing to be one thing but really are something else. I’m learning to stop entertaining people who want to play games. People who want to act nice but are really mean spirited. People who try to play like they’re supportive but don’t really support. It’s all a show and anything they do good is meant to boost their reputation and stroke their ego. I’m tired of people who want to pretend to be happy for you but they really aren’t. What they really are is jealous. Sadly, it’s impossible for jealous people to support you and be happy for you. The other part in discovering who’s who on this flight called life is that you won’t really find out the heart of people in your life until you are actually enjoying your journey. That’s when you see the ones who don’t want to see you win as DJ Khaled said. It’s so sad and so not cool. You are probably like me. I can see right through people.
When you’re dealing with people who love playing games just be cautious. They don’t have integrity and you’re not safe in these type of relationships. If they’re your so called friend, they won’t play games with you. If they’re sincere about being in your life, they won’t play dumb about stupid things. They’ll be honest and real. Stop pretending you don’t know who’s playing dumb with you. You owe it to yourself. You need to find out who’s going places with you and who’s working to keep you stuck on the ground. Some people love to see you frustrated and upset. Those are not your people. They’re just hanging around playing dumb.
Copyright © 2019 Sherry Grant
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