I wonder if I went into a hospital and told them I wanted to operate on people, would they let me. Me, with no medical degree! Maybe they would let me if I told them how nice I am. Maybe they’d let me do it if I reminded them about the grace of God. Maybe that would work. Isn’t that the same crap we bring up when we want to do things we aren’t qualified to do! We try and manipulate other people into letting us have our way even though we know we don’t have the skill set needed to do the work with efficiency and integrity.
What if I walked into the Mercedes dealership near my house and told them I wanted to work on the cars of their regular high paying customers. Do you think they would let me fix the cars of their loyal customers without proving I’m competent? Nope. The only place we think we can walk in and do whatever we want is the church. We just open the door and let unqualified people do stuff they aren’t good at. We let people who refuse to be trained and accountable get up and do serious jobs without any question.
It’s amazing that our criteria is soooo unremarkable. We let people sing who don’t even know the songs. We let people get up and teach who don’t even know what they’re talking about. We let those who don’t get along with others well handle broken people who come through our doors hurting. If you asked me it’s not a good way to take off. It’s actually insane to have people who don’t have the heart, or capacity to sit in positions where they handle people who are in such a vulnerable place. Yet we let those who don’t have the skills to help build a strong and stable community steer the ship and wonder why it’s not going anywhere.
While I was drinking my coffee this morning I got more and more concerned about the state of the church. What’s going to happen if we keep letting things go down this way? Are we going to get a different result if we keep doing the same things we’ve been doing? No! Of course we need to give people a chance to volunteer and gain confidence when it comes to their gifts and all. But how much authority should a person have when they don’t know what they’re doing? How much ownership should we give to people who don’t even think they need to improve in their area of leadership!? Most of these people don’t think they need to do better. Most of the people in charge of things seem to be fine going along being unremarkable.
Church has sadly become one of the only places where we continue to put the most incompetent people in positions of power and then wonder why we have no impact. I’m shocked we’re shocked! I’m surprised we’re surprised. When people take so little time to prepare for things and they get up and choke. Why are we shook when people don’t come back to our churches if we never improve anything? Are we ever going to take responsibility for our effort or lack thereof? How many times are we going to blame our incompetence on the devil. Really?
Is it the devil or is it the simple fact that you didn’t do anything to make what you were supposed to be doing remarkable? Like at some point, shouldn’t we take responsibility for our ratchet behavior and raise our standards? Like really, just because we like people or think they’re so nice, does that mean they’re qualified to lead, help, sing, teach, cook, handle finances, handle administrative duties….. I think not.
Recently, I made the decision to have a greater say in how things I’m in charge of flow. I’ve ceased to just let whatever people want to help out with happen. I need to know is this going to be done excellent and believe it or not, some people are offended by that. Mostly the unremarkable.
I stopped letting “helpful” people surprise me with what they come up with at the last minute. Newsflash; we all know you didn’t put anything into that!
The results of taking back leadership over things that continually fall apart when given to well intended people is, it’s been a lot better.
See, I’ve found that “well intended” people will “help” you however they want to and then get mad when you say that’s not how you want it done. This brings me to my next point and that is, you don’t have to take whatever people want to give you. Insert churchy organ music right here. There is a tendency in manipulative people to make you feel bad for having standards and expectations. That’s a real thing. But you will not guilt trip me for wanting the help you give me to be excellent.
Watch. Mark my words. As you raise your standards, some people will try to make you feel bad for expecting them to help you with some level of excellence beyond their typical buffoonery. And trust me, when you say no to the way they want to mishandle your vision or their poor treatment of it, or you, they will try to paint you out to be some kind of villain. Ha! That’s funny! Tell them, Nice try; but you can’t manipulate those of us who are going places. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for having standards. You have every right to ask people to help you how you expect to be helped.
There’s an old saying “ I can do bad by myself!” Seriously! No one needs you claiming to be helping and your help is all sloppy and tacky. If you’re going to help someone, please check your attitude at the door. No one needs the support of someone acting all extra and being all inconsistent and rude. How you going to be helping me and mistreat me at the same time? No thanks. If you’re going to do something for someone do it right. Be on time. Work with excellence. Help them in a way that makes things easier for them. How do you call yourself helping them and they have to go behind you and fix all your “help.” That’s not the sign of competent help.
Moving forward, make it a point not to just take help from just anyone. Don’t be so thirsty for support that you just take anything folk want to give you. Even when you find good supportive people, make sure they’ve demonstrated a capacity to remain teachable because you need people around you who see the importance of keeping a right heart. Some people do tasks for so long that they become haughty and think they’re better than they really are. This is not an attribute of someone with a teachable heart.
When seeking support for your vision, plans, next level, dreams,…..
Don’t work with anyone who’s dealing with low self esteem. They are too dangerous to have around and instead of being helpful they will make everything about themselves and their insatiable need for affirmation. You don’t have time for that. Adults have to take the time to work on themselves before they can be beneficial to someone else. Only work with those who are available and accountable as well. You don’t have time to be begging your help to help. At the end of the day, don’t ever release unremarkable people to represent your remarkable vision and your remarkable God. They’ll frustrate the heck out of you.
If they want to do whatever they want to do, release them to be unremarkable somewhere else! As for you, keep going forward and never let anyone help you settle into being unremarkable.
Copyright ©️ Sherry Grant 2019
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