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The last time I was on the plane the flight attendant assigned to our zone was clearly not there to be helpful. Of course she showed up, dressed in her uniform and she appeared to be working, but everything she was doing was robotic. She was cold and very disingenuous. She wasn’t serving anyone with a spirit of hospitality and care.

As I was sitting this morning drinking my coffee, I realized that it’s becoming increasingly normal for people to pretend to be sincere when it’s obvious they aren’t. It’s not cool at all. Showing up and faking like you’re nice or like you even care. It’s whack. I personally don’t think anyone can expect to take off in life if they’re not willing to confront the real them. Like their heart posture and who they are when it comes to their private thoughts. Made me think even more why people pretend so much? Like, if you really want to help people, you do. You don’t talk about it. You just help.

The real issue with so many people we deal with is that they are not really trying to be helpful. There I said it. That’s the humongous elephant in the room. People are standing around us all the time claiming to be friends, family, loved ones, community,…but when we say we need help we find out they’re just bluffing. When a person says they’re there to help and nothing is ever done to be helpful, is that enough evidence for you? Doesn’t seem to be. Seems like you need to fuss, cry, vent, tweet and post about your pain and people still never move beyond fake concern. It’s almost shocking to see that good help is hard to find.

This made me think how much inner turmoil has to be going on within a person who spends their life surrounded by people who act like they’re there to help. Acting like their nice. Pretending to care. Trying to play sincere when they’re not. None of those are attributes of someone who’s going somewhere great!

My advice for my real life coachable friends is easy. Take a moment today and assess your own heart. Since we can’t control anyone but ourselves, we can control how we move forward. Are we really trying to be helpful when we say we are? Or are we just going through the motions or putting on a show when we offer our help to others? See, life is much better when people don’t have to figure out if your intentions are pure. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. But if you sincerely want to make something better for someone, GO FOR IT. This time when you go for it, really do the work necessary to actually be helpful and supportive. Don’t keep putting a minimal effort into “helping” all the while doing as little as possible to actually help. That’s not a good look. What it says about you is that you’re not a very good person and you’re more committed to a putting on an act than you are to really being helpful.

If you’re fortunate enough to have people who want to be in your life, try returning the favor and be an asset to them. Don’t shuck and jive and play games with people when they open up and share their vulnerabilities with you. Be real. And if they need help, help the people in your life!

Copyright ©️Sherry Grant 2019

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