therealestlifecoach.com

i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

I want to take off too! Most of us are really hoping and praying and working to see our lives move forward to our highest potential! But let’s be honest, we can’t accomplish this and go anywhere amazing if we don’t get real and honest with ourselves and others around us. This is where I’m currently at and it’s not always going to be received well. I get that. So, my dream to keep elevating is more important to me than making complacent people comfortable in their cess pool of pretending. I believe that one of the most dysfunctional ways we have been conditioned to handle other people’s bad behavior in this cult- ure is to act like it doesn’t exist. We have been taught to pretend we don’t know things when we see them. We have been programmed to act as if what’s dead wrong is all good as long as we smile and keep acting. Personally, I can’t.

A lot of people on this flight called life have actually deluded themselves into believing being “the (supposed) bigger person,” and “letting your light shine” (which is a gross misapplication of scripture when taken out of context) is the way to win against evil. Think about how ridiculous that really is and how opposite it is from what Jesus, the prophets and those who stood as Biblical heroes handled misconduct. The whole idea that people should just get over it is also NOT at all very moral or characteristic of someone with actual real integrity who’s healing and growing up. The way I see it is, if there’s a dark space in your home that’s been neglected and taken over by rodents, insects and darkness; would a person in their right mind say “No, I’m just going to go ahead and love that room unconditionally and require no improvement or change!” Would a sensible person say it’s ok for you to be the only room in this house full of chaos and we will all deal with whatever comes along with you staying the same way you’ve always been. “You stay dirty while we all ignore it!” Of course not, you would go in there with your light and expose the parts that have been the way they’ve been for so long to provoke change. You would go in with brooms and mops and cleaning supplies and work on that space because you demand to live in an atmosphere that’s conducive for you to feel safe and at home. Yet, the way some of us have convinced ourselves on how to handle toxic people and crappy situations blows my mind.

If there’s something going on around you that’s interfering with your joy and peace; aren’t you going to fix it? If you’re really going places in life you can’t ignore things forever. You’ve got to be sober and realistic because things are not just going to work out on their own in most cases. On the contrary, like the dark room overrun with mice and roaches, it’s going to get worse and spread into other areas of your life if you don’t do something to transform it. Transformation takes a radical strategic plan and aggressive approach. You can’t sit back and except things to just happen with little to no effort.

No use in trying to compartmentalize the drama in your life and avoid cleaning it up. It’s still not going anywhere until you address it. Ignoring your stuff is not a responsible way to handle your take off! I would even venture to say, unchecked trauma will come back and take away from everything you’re working for! My advice today is simple for my real life coachable friends. Deal with the crap that you have control over. Don’t keep allowing this passive mentality to keep you from taking charge over what’s directly effecting you. Don’t think you can rest and just sit back and pretend pray about whatever it is that’s dark in your life when you have the authority to get your life on the path you want be on. It’s not anyone else’s job to confront the darkness in your life. You decide what you’re ok with and what you’re not ok with and then keep it moving. Keep going. Don’t allow people to shame you for speaking your truth. That’s a classic technique of those with the cultish mindset. They’ll try to mock you and make fun of you for addressing things that vex you. They’ll paint a picture about you that says you’re the problem because you’re speaking up. They’ll label you as mean, harsh and unkind. They’ll make it seem like you’re difficult for wanting to deal with the dysfunctional mess you see and the toxic ways you’ve been handled. Don’t let their gaslighting hinder you from getting your healing. You don’t have to pretend you’re ok with anything crappy that’s happened in your life and you don’t have to swallow whatever crap they hope to shove in your face for you to accept.

I tell the crappy people who want me to prove that I’m a good person to them, jump in a lake. I’m not obligated to accept anything that disrespects me or devalues my value or worth. Try that on some weak minded person, not me. Tell the messy people who have so many opinions about your life to go away. Tell them that just because they don’t love themselves it doesn’t mean you have to accept the drama and foolery they put up with. If they choose to tolerate mess, that’s fine for them. Don’t let people manipulate you into bottling up your emotions for their comfort. Sometimes speaking the truth makes those living a lie feel some kind of way. Not my problem. I’m determined to go somewhere great! This means I have to free myself of anything that’s sent to weigh me down. For me, being fake and pretending to be something I’m not is not helpful for my ascent nor a way to honor my authentic voice. I have something to say and the things I’ve gone through are not open to be edited by people who love pretending they don’t have a truth either. Sorry that your real experiences don’t match your fake persona. Get well.

Love, The Realest Life Coach

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