i'm not mad. i'm a writer.

On the average flight there are all types of people going places. Some are coming and others are going. Some are excited, some are not looking forward to going where they’re going. In the same way, all of us have an agenda and specific motivation for what we do and why we do it. Our motivation for what we do and why we do it shapes our attitude and the posture we have when we do whatever we do. Made me wonder how many of us are intrinsically motivated to go where we go. Are we doing the things we do because it’s from a positive place in our hearts? Or are we going along to get along, basically performing tasks and doing the things we do out of obligation?

You certainly can’t fool anyone when you’re not happy doing what you do. A person who doesn’t want to do something or be somewhere, shows that in their demeanor. You could be doing all the things “required” but be giving off the impression that you’re not having a good time doing it. Most people do this because they don’t have the courage or conversational skills to say what they feel. They don’t have the maturity to come out and be authentic, so they hide behind disingenuous smiles and empty “I’m ok’s”. That is, until they can’t hide it anymore, or until they find someone else who’s disgruntled like them. That’s a whole different post, but the disgruntled love to huddle and never speak up like grown ups and resolve their issues. That’s very disturbing and a tactic often used to distract those who are going places! Don’t fall for it.

Anyway, back to my original thought. Do you have the courage to be honest about where you are on this flight? In your relationships, in your dealings,..are you motivated from a positive place or are you just doing tasks because you’re expected to do them? Silently and inwardly resenting and hating the journey? One of the things I can’t ignore is watching a person do things for someone else as if they’re doing them a favor. Funny how that makes no sense to me at all. The word favor implies you’re doing it because you want to help someone out. Webster defines it this way – To do someone a favor is : to do a kind and helpful act for (someone).

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s nothing kind about shuffling your feet and sucking your teeth and acting like some martyr when you do something for someone. But think about it, the average person today will do something for someone and call it a favor, yet act more like it’s a CHORE.

  1. a routine task, especially a household one.

2. an unpleasant but necessary task.

Why are you doing what you signed up to do and carrying it as if it’s an unpleasant but necessary task? This speaks to your mindset and your integrity. Your attitude needs an adjustment and you need to do the adjusting. Otherwise, you bring the whole environment down with your negative energy being fake and phony. On top of that, you’re deluding yourself into thinking you’re doing something good with a bad attitude. There’s something wrong with doing so called good deeds with a foul spirit. You get my point right? The bottom line, if you want to help someone, do it with the right attitude. If you don’t, save yourself the headache and keep your favor with you. You’re actually doing more damage when you bring that energy sucking vibe into a place. No one needs your “favor” especially if it’s not done in the spirit of a true favor. This is why it’s so hard for a lot of people to ask for help. Because as soon as some people think they’re helping you, they start using you as an opportunity to work out their head issues and insecurities. If you’re genuinely trying to support someone, do it right. Do it as if you’re serving someone you respect.

And isn’t that what it boils down to anyway? Respect! RESPECT FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME. You wouldn’t have a problem doing a favor for someone you deemed worthy of your honor with the right attitude. So really think hard about your respect level. At home, at work, in your community,… and for God’s sake, if you don’t want to be a blessing to someone, don’t pretend you do. You wouldn’t be so sloppy helping someone you really wanted to genuinely help. It’s only when we get cocky and arrogant and familiar with people that we start giving them “whatever!” That whatever attitude sucks. They’ll be fine. That’s good enough for them. They should be happy I did something. All of these are awful ways we treat people when we think they need our favor. Move out of the way when you start serving people that way. Stop helping when your help becomes warped and tainted.

Sadly, this is why some people never have quality people in their lives. Because the only people they put any effort into are people who don’t give them the time of day. Ironically the same people who do “whatever” with you, they would never do that with someone who gives them their time and attention. So this proves it’s not you. THEY JUST DON’T RESPECT YOU. It’s their mentality towards themselves and the fact that they don’t respect anyone who respects them. WOW!

Save yourself the irritation with these kind of people. Leave these type of travelers to themselves. They are best left to work on themselves. They REALLY can’t help anyone until they help themselves. It’s a long flight we’re on and you can easily confuse people who are going places with these people we’ve been talking about today. But don’t waste your time. Stay focused and deal with people who are interested in healthy relationships. Not those toxic people who love drama and chaos. They can’t manage to stay out of lies, craziness and unnecessary negativity. Stay away from them. You’re going somewhere great and you’re becoming more and more wise and discerning about who’s who on the way.

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travelers #favors #obligations #attitudes #spirit #energy #vibe #emotional #mentality #destination #mindset #blog #blogger #people #stuff #talk

One thought on “Don’t Settle!

  1. Muriel Johnson says:

    I’m going with the extraordinary with bells and whistles and a cherry on top.


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