Ever gotten ready to go somewhere and you were all excited and packed to take off, then you arrive to the airport and hear that your flight has been delayed? Delay is a period of time by which something is late or postponed. A person can also be delayed or held up, slowed down, set back when trying to reach a destination. Think about your life; What’s making you late for your take off? Who’s delaying your elevation on this flight called life? Are you trying to hang out with people who don’t want to go anywhere great, busy trying to mentor people who don’t want your mentorship? Trying to be close to people determined to stay cold and distant?
Most of the time when I’ve had a flight delayed it hasn’t been by much; yet I have been guilty (along with everyone traveling with me) of overreacting when my plans change or get delayed. Overreacting when things seem out of our control is by far one of the most useless things a person can do with their time and emotions. As I’m learning to increase my emotional IQ there are some things I refuse to give my time and energy to ever again. I don’t answer every phone call, respond to every text or email, it just doesn’t make sense to use up any of my day on nonsense. So, I make it a point not to entertain situations and people that refuse to grow up and change. Some people like to get a rise out you. They’re clearly mentally and emotionally delayed so they go around trying to delay everyone else. Nope! I refuse to stay on the same level with those who can’t grasp basic adult concepts like respect, gratitude, consistency, attitude and tone.
There are some people who repeatedly and consistently cross clear boundaries with me. Should I keep giving them the chance to dishonor me? Absolutely not! Neither should you. Learning this has been key for me in maintaining my peace, sanity and focus on my purpose in life. Let’s be real, not everyone has a sense of urgency when it comes to going somewhere great! The times in my life I had the most impactful moments were free of people who are always operating on a delay. These people have little ambition, vision, goals, faith; all they do is find a little job and work it with their bad attitude. Not that I have anything against jobs, but there is a mindset that people have who never dream beyond a 9-5 mentality have, and if you’re not careful they will become a job for you. Some people are work. I would even venture to say they are a piece of work!
You’ll find yourself constantly trying to encourage, motivate, inspire, and help them, when your assignment is not to manage the emotional issues of another adult! Seriously! Truth is, all of us have to deal with difficult people in our lives and if we are working on becoming better communicators and leaders in our own right, wouldn’t it be nice to be paired with people who are doing the same?! We have got to develop the wisdom and maturity needed to respond with grace or not say anything at all. See, if I know I am having a moment where I am spiritually deficient and haven’t prayed enough or meditated long enough to handle what I feel is headed in my direction; I remove myself from the situation and take a different route or way of getting to my destination. I’ve learned that not being able to maneuver around difficult people can be one of the biggest sources of delay in the lives of someone going places. I’ve learned to stop letting ignorant people take me places I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go to a place where I lose my joy or patience. Those places delay my promotion. Sometimes avoiding some of these toxic characters isn’t possible, but the goal for the coachable is that we can grow to a place of becoming completely unbothered by them, their antics and their mind games. This takes a serious commitment to growing up mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Believe it or not, some of the barbaric psychological techniques of these people who love to trigger your emotions negatively never change which means you could be getting pushed to the edge emotionally by the same methods everyday. Come on you’re smarter than that!!!! At some point, you have to wise up and say not another day! Identify the idiot, the bigot, the racist, the sexist, the homophobe, the narcissist, the attention seeker, the know it all and don’t walk into their toxic trap! You’ve got to literally get sick and tired of being sick and tired and politely tell them to go away! Tell your annoying neighbor who sticks their nose in your business all the time – “Please stop talking to me about personal matters that don’t concern you. Please mind your business.” At some point you’ve got to become emotionally intelligent enough to directly confront the person who continues to embarrass you by saying – “What would you do if I walked up to you and insulted you all the time?” You’ve got to be confident enough to speak to the bully in your house and tell them “I don’t appreciate how uncomfortable you try to make me and everyone in this house when your attitude is not right.” I taught my children at a young age to respectfully speak up when the the tyrant teacher in the classroom is being mean spirited. I taught them to say – “I’m sorry, but is there a reason you keep speaking to me that way? Is there something I did to make you so angry with me?” I’m telling you it works.
When you step back and address the spirit or the energy the person is giving off and not direct it at the person to attack them, then you will find them disarmed and whatever negative force is at work in that individual usually stops antagonizing you. This is how you confront someone without being confrontational, and it’s key to getting to your destination without a long delay. When we respond to toxic people by being all mad and worked up, we open the door to anger, malice and strife. Some people love to create this kind of atmosphere. So sad. This is one of the reasons the emotionally unintelligent stay stuck. Many of them have criminal charges because they get locked up because they never learned how to respond to a difficulty. Many end up divorced, unable to find a job, without opportunities and wondering why.
No one ever coached them on expressing themselves without anger. No one ever taught them that it’s okay to disagree or share an opinion that others may not like respectfully. They never learned how to speak to people. There are many of you on the verge of losing quality people in your life because you won’t learn to appreciate them and communicate with them properly. Before it’s too late, take heed. No matter how good a person is, everyone gets to a point of being fed up. Don’t push someone to the edge with your stupidity and your inability to make adjustments within your heart and mind. So many people bottle up their emotions and pretend to be what they aren’t in an effort to delay the inevitable. Many of you have tried to stay in an unhappy marriage. You have tried to delay things and wait for the other person to catch up with you but then one day the time comes where you can’t delay it any longer. Some of you have been trying to wait for your family, friends or team to get better but they won’t. They’re keeping you stuck. This is resonating with some of you today because you too have become tired of the performance. You just want to take off and move closer to your dream destination. You’ve realized that performing and presenting yourself in a way that dishonors your authenticity is toxic for your ascent.
I encourage you today to eliminate what’s keeping you stagnant. Get rid of what’s keeping you from smiling and enjoying this journey. Life is short. People are dying everyday. Don’t let your love for other people keep you from loving yourself. You are going somewhere great! Don’t let anyone delay your flight. Today’s your day to soar! There’s a saying that goes delay is not denial. That’s sorta true. Actually you can miss your chance to take flight if you don’t move when you should. None of us are getting any younger. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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