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Did you know that the tray table in front of you on the airplane was designed to do more than one thing? Most of us think it’s only function is for us to eat off of. Some think it’s designed solely for us to read and write on. Some people think it’s mere reason for existence is to put our laptop on. But the creative makers of the tray table on the airplane specifically designed it for more than one use; all the way from eating, drinking, napping, reading, writing, down to using it as a changing table.

Now I’m sure most of you weren’t ready for that baby changing table use. But it’s true. The same table you eat your meal on could still have you know what on it. Alarming isn’t it? To think that the same surface we eat our snack or meal on and some even lay their head down to nap on, is also used by some people to change a poopy pamper. This made me think about our expectations and the designs and plans we have for things and how often they too can vary from person to person. How you may look at something and see using it for one thing, while I look at it and see using it for another thing. This is often one of the biggest sources of heartbreak for some of us in life; that we are actually in relationships on this flight called life with people who have ideas about what certain things are for that are completely outlandish, disturbing, strange, selfish and downright disrespectful to us.

For me, I’m amazed at how many people use opportunities to “serve” or to “help out” to boost their self esteem. While helping others may give you that good feeling inside, it’s not the intended purpose. Helping is to help someone else, Point blank PERIOD. It completely astonishes me how something as pure as helping can have so many different motivations from person to person. I’m always blown away and surprised at how some people lend a hand and come to someone’s rescue with the idea that they are now expected control and power over that individual in return. This also made me think how much better it would be if the “tray table” came with a users manual. (Insert I may just write a users manual aka relationship manual for the users of life 🤔)

It made me think how much better a ride this would be if when others sat down on this flight, they could be handed detailed instructions outlining what’s acceptable when they decide to use the tray table. I began to wonder about how different all of our lives would be if we handled our relationships the same way. Where we didn’t let people use us however they want from day to day. Think about how you wouldn’t have to worry about being misused if you just opened your mouth and communicated to the people around you what’s okay versus what’s not. Your flight would be greater if you were more specific about what your boundaries were. Don’t you think you would avoid being a changing table if you articulated to people that you’re not putting up with anybody’s crap? LOL

It’s amazing how people will do to you what you allow them to do. People, if you let them will come up with all kinds of creative uses for you because they think you’re so nice aka passive and weak. They will use you as a tray table because you seem so accessible and compliant and accommodating when it comes to them using you for more than one thing. I think it’s advantageous to us that we live in a description or title driven culture. Where everyone comes with a designation. Think of it as part of your users guide when it comes to the people you’re in relationship with. This keeps the lines from being crossed. So at work, I’m the boss or the employee. At home, I’m the child or the parent. In love relationships, we are casual or committed. Some of us need to examine who we are to the people in our lives. Friend or person who you want to agree with your constant bad choices, toxic drama and foolishness. Brother, Sister or person you expect to be available for your abuse and dishonor in the name of family.

These roles should be clear before we take off. This will undoubtedly keep people from crossing lines and mistreating the gift you are called to be in that relationship. Anytime you allow your role and identity to be taken to the extreme; you rob yourself of your value, dignity and worth. Aren’t you tired of allowing people to use you for whatever they decide to use you for and whenever they want?

The harsh reality is, after you allow yourself to be pulled down to the level they want you on and after they use you up; the credible people who genuinely wanted to experience you and what your intended purpose was will be turned off and will no longer want to deal with you. You will have been labeled a discount by your own doing. And no matter how cool of an idea you are, the same people who wanted to see you worthy, will come to the ultimate conclusion that you are nothing more than a tray table. Don’t let it be said about you that too many people have used you for too many different purposes.

On the plane they usually make an announcement during take off that says “Put Your Tray Table Up!” I offer that same advice to you today. Put your tray table in the upright position (insert My Lord!) and make sure what people know you to be about are only things that maintain your value, dignity and worth.

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Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

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