My therapist asked me a powerful question today. The question was “How far are you willing to go for people when it comes to your empathy for them?
It started my wheels to turning. I began thinking about the distance I’ve traveled for others. Because I was concerned about people in my life; I’ve gone places I’ve never intended, only to find when I’m about to crash and burn, the same ones were nowhere to be found. It didn’t matter how pure my intentions were at the time, but feelings have a tendency to change on this flight called life. Also, it made me think more about how I ended up feeling when I gave to others what I couldn’t actually afford to give them. This really made me re-think about how far I’m actually willing to go now. Now that I know that some people want to you to go far out for them and still have no intention of reciprocating or even changing and growing up. I thought about how far am I willing to go now, knowing all I’ve learned from then to now. It got me to thinking about how far I’ll go for people who won’t do a blessed thing for me when I’m struggling. What’s my attitude when it comes to users, narcissists and people who take and take and take? The bottom line for me now is that I am only willing to go as far as I choose. In other words, my decisions are in my hands and no one else’s. Defining that made me feel soooo empowered and strong. To say that I choose what I do and who I do it for. Oh, and I know that sounds so obvious to some, but think about how many of us haven’t been living this way up to now. I’m talking about living your life like it’s really your life. Not your parents, family, friends,…you get my drift. I’m empowered to articulate it and say it loud; people don’t get to manipulate me into being a “good person” just because it benefits them and their self seeking agenda. To say that I choose to decide how far I’ll go when I see someone in a situation. That if I feel compelled to step in and help I will; but if I don’t, no amount of guilt or manipulation will make me change my stance. And listen, I realize that this doesn’t protect me from deadbeats and leeches. I realize that I still may find myself being taken advantage of and used by others so to say. But the greatest knowing in all of that is; people can only use me with my consent, participation and permission.
There’s an incredible sense of power in knowing you’re not a victim to anyone or any circumstance. There’s a tremendous freedom in knowing that I’m here and I’m ready to be who I am on my terms. That I’ll go for others as far as I want. That I will travel the distance for whoever or whatever I want.
And if for some reason I think I made the wrong decision on this journey, I know how to get back on course and follow my life path with integrity and authenticity; because it’s my flight and my choice!
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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