Don’t Crash & Burn

On any given day when you’re traveling on this flight called life, you’ll see people dealing with their issues. Sometimes you want to stop and help them, other times you realize what they need help with is above your skill set. The point I’m making is, you’ll never get to your destination if you’re not focused enough to prioritize what’s your responsibility and what’s not. If you keep stopping trying to assist everyone you see who’s dealing with a problem, you’ll look up and see that you’ve missed out on the opportunity to live your own life to the fullest.

As I sat and enjoyed my morning cup of joy, it made me ponder how many of us are distracted by things that are none of our business. Like seriously, you have a plate of your own and instead of focusing on your plate, you’re obsessed with trying to cut up everyone else’s food and feed them. By the time you get to eat, your food is cold or no longer appetizing. This is a picture of a person who’s too busy taking on the concerns of others to do what they need to do to take flight. Can I tell you that what you’re doing is not a good idea?!

There was a story in the Bible about this dude name Moses who was the “leader” of a group of rude, unthankful, double minded people. He was sincerely trying his best to do his job well but they were not good for his mental health. They were only concerned with their needs. Night and day, day and night they bombarded Moses with their problems and as long as he made himself available they kept it coming. Finally, Moses’ stepfather Jethro showed up and observed this toxic relationship he had with his “people” and said this is not good for your mental health. He basically told them they were going to be the cause of him losing his mind. He went on to say at the rate you’re going, you’re going to burn yourself out. This is sooo important for my real life coachable friends to catch. Don’t let responsibilities that don’t belong to you put you in a position where you crash and burn. Sure, you have a big heart and you love to help people. The harsh reality is you can’t help everyone and neglect yourself. At the end of the day, you’re no good to anyone if you’re burned out and stressed out.

Take a moment today to write down the things you’re responsible for and the things you are not responsible for. I can guarantee you that concerning yourself with the emotional well being of another person is not your job. Don’t worry about whether people like you or anything like that. Their opinion of you is not your business. Get on with your life and stay focused on your take off. It’s not selfish. It’s self care. You’re no good to anyone if you’re drained and exhausted from helping other people all the time. Today is the day for you to do something for yourself. Read a book, take a nap, go on a hike or jump in the pool. Watch a movie, go out to eat, do something you like. Whatever you do, make sure it’s within the realm of your responsibility. This flight called life is challenging enough. Don’t complicate it trying to be the savior of your dysfunctional family or your ratchet friend circle. Save yourself from the unnecessary drama and the toxic demands of impossible people. Your take off is awaiting you. Don’t waste another day taking on tasks and assignments that are not your responsibility. It will get done. Just make sure it’s not done by you. Dive into your purpose and do all you can to make this flight an inspirational experience for everyone aboard.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #takeoff #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #flying #crashandburn #responsibility #blog #blogger

It’s never too late for you to take off!

I’m late writing my blog today because I was taking some personal time off to read and relax. There I said it. It’s the truth. I went to the bookstore, ate a warm cinnamon roll with coffee and read a book. Sure, I could have eliminated this information from this article and never shared a word about my whereabouts with you, but I sincerely respect my coachable friends and believe accountability goes both ways. I think those of us who are really going places have got to learn how to be genuine when it comes to our accountability.

What I mean by that is, when a person is being up front and accountable without a hidden agenda, they are free and at liberty to say what they want. They have no problem being transparent and honest because they have nothing to hide. Majority of the most disingenuous people I know share information in a very allusive, indirect way. Made me shake my head and wonder how these kinds of people think they’ll ever truly take off in life. And please don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that you run around and tell everything and give more information than needed to everyone. I believe in discretion. I believe there should be some topics and circumstances that remain private; but to the people you’re traveling on this flight called life with, you need to have some level of answerability to. Why be in relationships with people you can’t be honest with? Why waste your time with people you have to remain cryptic and so mysterious with? How do ever intend to take a meaningful friendship, romantic relationship or even business partnership to the next level if you continue being so vague and mystical? People that are trying to go great places in life have to be open, honest, straightforward and upfront. There’s a serious lack of integrity working in someone who constantly evades having clear cut discussions with the people they’re flying with. Communication is sooo vital to healthy relationships. Show me a person who doesn’t want to discuss anything with the people they’re working with or living with, that’s a sneaky person who’s afraid to say what they’re really up to. Talking things out and being accountable is necessary in moving things along. It’s a part of being a grown up. When people want to end the conversation all abrupt, they’re normally cutting you off because they don’t want to address something. That’s a red flag. A person who doesn’t want to share anything of any substance on a matter is hiding something.

There’s even this prideful thing in many of us when it comes down to those days we decide to be unproductive where we don’t want to take responsibility for our lack of productivity either. See, you and I need people in our circle who we don’t have to pretend for. You need people who you can speak the truth to. People who you can say “Today was a lazy day. Today was a day that I slept in. Today was a day where I watched the whole season of “In The Dark” on Netflix in my Netflix pants.” Be real! Tell the truth.

After you come out with the truth as to why you didn’t go to work, church or wherever you were supposed to go; be prepared to be challenged by real friends who hold you accountable for having too many “couch potato days.” Get ready when you’re surrounded by bonafide friends who really want to see you soar in life to be told “Hey sis, you’re becoming too lax with your goals.” “Hey bro, you’re not reading as much as you used to. What happened to your plans to go back to school? What happened to your dreams of getting married and having a family?” “You’re taking too many selfies lately – what’s going on with you?” I’m serious you need some real friends. And when you get them don’t push us away!

You need friends who care enough about your destiny to tell you that some of the things you’re occupying your time and attention with are distracting you from your personal life goals and plans! I’m here today to call you to accountability. The same way my husband or my brother Keith will call me and say “HEY, I DIDN’T SEE YOUR BLOG TODAY! What’s going on?” I’m here to do that for you and say where’s your blog? Where’s your podcast? Where’s your book? I’m here to tell you to snap out of it. Whether it’s low morale, lack of inspiration, discouragement, depression, sadness or frustration; I’m here to interrupt your pity party and say get back on task! The world is waiting on you. The songs, the poetry, the scripts, the fashion designs, the recipes, the business,… GET BACK ON YOUR ASSIGNMENT! Sure, you need some “me time” sometimes, but too much “me time” will make you selfish and selfish people hardly ever help anyone get to their next destination in life!! See, this flight is not just about you, but it’s about the people you’re meant to inspire. There’s family, friends, younger people, older people, and even your social media connections that are watching you and the more time you spend not doing what you’re supposed to do, the less chance they have to get their act together. Don’t be selfish. You’re getting too old to keep thinking like that. Others are waiting in the wings for you to get moving! Make today the day you start heading toward your take off. I’m so glad I didn’t let today go without blogging. I needed to say this for someone. If it’s you, go!!! TAKE OFF! Now!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #blog #blogger #takeoff #dontbeselfish #travel #somewheregreat #accountabilty

Stop waiting on a powerless person to get you there!

The power went out at the airport while we were waiting for our flight out. No lights. No air conditioning. No vending machines. Only a few things were operational, I guess they were on a back up generator. Basically nothing was working! The power was out for at least 20 minutes, and I lie to you not; at least 10 -12 people walked over to that elevator, pushed the button and waited for it to work. Obviously it never did. But that didn’t stop them from hitting it and trying to force something that’s not working to open for them. That’s word right there. How many of us are doing that in real life too? These people waiting for the elevator to come must not have made the connection that they couldn’t go up on something that wasn’t hooked up to working power.

My husband became the official bearer of the bad news to everyone. “The power is out sir! The power is out, so the elevator doesn’t work ma’am!” He actually had to say this to not just one or two people, but almost a dozen grown men and women. This got me to thinking how many of us are oblivious to what’s working in our lives versus what’s not working? How many of us think we can go somewhere on an “elevator” that’s not connected to a functioning power source? This could be the same way some of us are in relationships where we have been waiting on something thats virtually unable to get us to the next level. How many of us have been waiting and waiting on a supposed connection to one day help us go somewhere great when it’s never going to take us anywhere. Just pushing and pushing like the proverbial button on the elevator but it never comes and really doesn’t even have the capability to do a blessed thing for us. I’m here to tell you today, stop waiting on them – they’re powerless!! If a person could do something for you, wouldn’t they have done it by now? Most of these folk out here who want you to do free stuff for them are narcissist who prey on people’s kindness. At the end of the day, they never have any intention of making this relationship beneficial to you. Stop pushing the button and calling them and reaching out to them and trying to walk on eggshells with them. Stop letting them play games with your time and talent. They’re not going to do anything for you. As a matter fact, in most cases they can’t do anything for themselves. They will just stick around and get the goody out of you and pimp you and abuse your generosity and when you finally speak up for yourself, they’ll paint you out to be a bad person. I’m a bad person for excepting something in return for my time and creativity? Isn’t that what I deserve? See that’s how you know you’re dealing with a sociopath.

I recently have had to see some of these toxic people in my world for who and what they are. Users!!! Don’t let the users keep you stuck waiting on them to take you to the next level. My simple advice to my coachable friends is don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Many of the people and things we rely on don’t even have the capacity, good nature or juice to push us or promote us to the next level anyway! I’ve run into master manipulators who’s ultimate agenda is to keep me in a box, producing greatness for their own personal promotion and benefit. Sadly, some people come into our lives pretending to be genuine and posing to be powerful influencers. Wolves in sheeps clothing is what they really are and when you speak up for yourself watch the mask fall off. All the while, they are just like this powerless elevator; they aren’t connected to a source that’s able to move anything other than their over inflated ego forward.

See it for what it is. Move on. There’s something better out there for you. When you move beyond them you won’t have to deal with such a waste of your time. You won’t feel mistreated and devalued. You are going somewhere great and it’s not contingent on messed up people with warped mentalities. Shake it off and stay amazing. You’re going places and I’m so excited you stopped waiting on a powerless person to get you there.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #mentality #elevator #powerless #people #blogger #travel #flight #destination #mindset #blog #baltimore #users #nointegrity

Airplane Conversations that get my wheels turning

On the flight home last night there was a group of “sisters” all going on and on and on about how sad it was that they had to leave their other “sisters” behind. They ran off at the mouth for quite awhile about how some of their “poor sisters” should have went on and bought their plane tickets and left the same way that they did. Finally someone listening in got sick of it and said “EVERYONE CAN’T AFFORD TO LEAVE LIKE WE DID!” INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT HOW SAD IT IS THAT THEY’RE STILL THERE; WHY NOT PRAY FOR THEM!

Then one of the guilty snooty “sisters” sheepishly responded “WELL,.. WE ARE!”

The indignant woman responded “GOOD!!! PRAY FOR THEM BECAUSE EVERYONE COULDN’T AFFORD TO LEAVE! She said “THE BOTTOM LINE IS -ALL OF US ON THIS PLANE ARE A BUNCH OF BLESSED PEOPLE!

I turned around and said “AMEN TO THAT!”

This whole exchange between these people on our airplane got me to thinking about how different the circumstances are for one person versus the next person; and how easy it is for us to lose our sense of compassion when we say things like “they should have done what we did.” Some of us are very judgy! Have we forgotten that everyone’s situation is different? Did these “sisters” on the airplane forget that even though they’re traveling on this flight called life with other people that they’re in relationship with, that not everyone has been handed the same set of cards? Ironically, these sorority sisters were only highlighting how casually we throw around these titles like sister, brother, family, friend. Isn’t it crazy how we call people family and then when they’re in crisis we leave them in devastating circumstances and say they should have done what we did?! Made me wonder are we really good actors on this flight called life, merely pretending as if we really care? You will never really know who your real brothers and sisters are until you’re stuck!

Honestly, think about it; when was the last time you knew someone was in a dire state of emergency and you were guilty of sending your stock “I’m praying for you” message or your favorite standard inspirational cliche? Is that what you would have wanted when you were stuck? Were you able to do more than just pray for them? Started my wheels to turning to want to ask my coachable friends – Are we really genuine good people when we call people family and close friends if we will sit back and leave them in devastation? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you can help everyone; but your family, your close friends???? You can’t help them in a state of emergency? And no, I’m not talking about those people who love drama. You can’t save someone who’s addicted to mess! Some people are so used to stupidity they don’t want to leave their madness. Don’t waste your time with the ones who refuse to leave their toxicity. They won’t walk away from drama even if you paid their fare to leave. If you’re a real one, you should be ready and willing to do something beyond beyond a bunch of hot air to assist those who you know who genuinely want to get away from disaster and trauma.

It’s truly painful to see people go through rough times and the very ones who are supposed to have their back are like these “sisters” on the plane – basically bragging that they made it out. It’s that “too bad so sad for you” attitude! Not the way real sisters and brothers deal with one another. At what point do we take responsibility for the condescending, snobbish way we patronize people when we see them stuck? Can’t we see how stone hearted it is when we sit back and watch our “brothers” and “sisters” brace for the worse while we take off to our desired destination? Or have we just become so fake in our society that we rattle off these affectionate names and exercise no real affection towards them? If there are people close to you and you’ve been watching them drown emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually,…. shame on you. To my real life coachable friends DO BETTER!

Don’t sit around and talk about how sad it is to see people in their set of circumstances. That’s called gossip. Anyone who can gossip and discuss the lives of others is someone who’s not going anywhere great!! Periodt! Those who are going places actually help other people do the same. There’s a beautiful quote that capsulizes the whole theme of today’s message in this blog.

“You have two hands. One to help yourself, the other to help someone else.”

Help someone else. Don’t talk about them. Take your mouth off of people. If you can’t help them get out of the situation they’re in, then mind your business. Please work on you and sweep around your own front door. I’ve discovered my life is already complicated enough, so why would I waste my time trying to judge someone else’s life? If I can’t help you, I promise I won’t hurt you. Let’s go somewhere greater beyond discussing people and what they did and who they did it with. No one ever gained anything trying to make someone else look bad at the end of the day. Take some time out of your day and help someone in a tangible way. Be a real sister. That’s how you take off and get further on this flight called life!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #flying #takeoff #sisters #mentality #flight #fakesister #genuinesister #gossip #life #airplaneconversations #wheelsturning

Time to Leave!!! This Trip is Over!

You ever had a change of plans? Have you? Ever had to deal with unexpected circumstances that abruptly came in and disrupted what you had on your schedule? Well, that’s what happened to us today. Right at this moment we are ready to leave! We jumped up, showered and packed our bags and headed straight to the airport. Well, we did stop for shrimp po boys first. Who could blame us?! 😂 But as of now, we are leaving our relaxing getaway because something is happening here we don’t want to participate in!!

For us, we are changing our plans and getting out of dodge now, not later; because an impending storm is on the way! Made me sit back and think how many people need to do the same on this flight called life. Meaning get out while you can! I wonder how many people need to leave a place or a relationship because they see all the warnings signs of danger ahead but are still sitting there rationalizing staying in a dangerous place.

While we’re getting out of here, others are doing the same. But it’s virtually impossible to ignore that in spite of all the news; a lot of people are still staying here. In spite of the Governor declaring an official state of emergency, there are people who don’t believe the storm is going to be that bad while some think they can handle it. It made me think how many people who we have all let into our lives and ignored the internal state of emergency warning that was loudly bleeping “LEAVE!” “GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!”

There are those of us who want to see the best in people. We know it’s somewhere deep down in there, but the reality for some of these people is that they are nothing more than “tornados” coming to essentially rip through your world. They are the ones who come in your life and they lack respect for your boundaries, no regard for your feelings, life and time. Quite frankly, I’ve experienced this reality more times than I wish I had. And believe it or not, even when you get fed up and come to your wits end with these characters, that’s when these narcissistic abusers will come back and try to resurface. Once they see you’ve gotten yourself back together and you’ve cleaned up all the mental and emotional damage and debris from dealing with them – that’s when they have the nerve to try you again. They’ll try to come back into your life and be all charismatic and charming. Never let the grinning and flattery fool you. They haven’t changed. They’ll act as if they never did anything in the first place to hurt you. They are famous for never apologizing or taking responsibility for their actions. This is the nature of a wolf in sheeps clothing!!!! Mark them. When they come back to see if they can wreck your life again; this is when you have to muster up all the emotional and spiritual strength you can! You’ll need some supportive people around you because these hurricane-ish people are coming to leave more disrepair and wreckage. It’s their nature and it’s up to you whether you choose to stay or leave!

As for me, the self centered opportunistic jerks aka tornados who’ve ripped through my life before will never get that opportunity again. Call it what you want. I call it WISDOM. And while I carry not one unforgiving bone in my body, I will quickly leave the presence of anyone who blatantly dishonors me and arrives in my life to destroy what has taken me years to build. See, it took me years to become the person I am today; so that’s why I refuse to let anyone come in and torment and traumatize the peace and calm I fought to experience on a regular basis. Consider this your emotional state of emergency warning too! Anyone in your life who’s currently threatening your peace of mind is not worth you sticking around to let them continue. LEAVE! Before the devastation intensifies. Don’t sit back and let them agonize and inflict anymore suffering and pain on you. Get out while you can! Sure we are going to miss out on a few more days of vacation we paid for. My husband paid a lot of additional money to get us out of this place; but it’s worth it. He’s saving us from a lot of unnecessary stress and trouble. Staying in threatening environments is NOT good for your mental health!!!

Whether it’s a toxic, controlling, manipulative family, friendship, workplace, club, church, neighborhood – get out while you can! Don’t be so devoted to your past that you miss out on the possibility of a better future!! I overheard a woman here say “I’ve lived here my whole life, but I can’t take this another time!” That was a message in and of itself! That spoke to me so clear! What in your life have you been putting up with for so long and you can’t deal with it anymore!? Don’t snap. Don’t have a meltdown or a breakdown. Just leave. As a matter of fact- Get out while you can! Don’t stay in a place that keeps you anxious and stressed out. I SURE AM LEAVING NOW!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #trip #blogger #blog #mindset #mentality #people #traveling #getout #whileyoucan #stateofemergency #evacuate #neworleans #evacuate #evacuationplans

What Are You Committed To?

My husband loves the extra leg room you get when you sit in the exit row. So without my consent he told them I would do whatever needed to be done to sit there. Lies! I basically had an attitude that I’m not doing anything for anyone if this plane goes down. I’ll admit it wasn’t a proud moment for me. But if you’ve ever sat in the exit row, you know that before that plane takes off, YOU HAVE GOT TO make a commitment to sit there for yourself. No longer could I blame it on my husband. I had to say where I stood. This is an entire word!

Made me contemplate this whole subject of commitment. Do we really intend on fulfilling our end of the agreements we make? Or are we just shucking and jiving our way through life saying what we need to say to get what we want? Made me ponder how so many people literally think they can fly in life without making any formal decision and taking responsibility for something outside of themselves. No one wants to serve anyone except themselves. This if you asked me is the opposite of growing up. To be self centered and only concerned about things that pertain to you and your well being is a sickness. Could I have been acting that way in my exit row seat? Made me feel all convicted to the point that I really did have to say a wholehearted yes when she asked for my commitment to sitting there. I said yes and by the time I said it out of my mouth I really meant it. I really meant that I would help if something happened. But I prayed really hard and believed it wouldn’t. But I meant what I said I would do because that’s the kind of person I am. If I can do it, I will. If I can’t, I’ll say that too.

Yet all around us on this flight called life we run into people who don’t mean what they say. They commit to things, but don’t have any intention of keeping their end of the bargain. These people are consumed with their own life and no one else. Sadly, these same folk will go ahead and bring lives into the world, join families and communities and bring their toxic thinking into something that’s based on the concept of service, helping others, sharing and being committed to one another.

No wonder this society is so messed up. Until we fix our ideas about belonging to something outside of self, we will remain thankless and unappreciative of every good thing that comes our way. Commitment is required for almost everything when you really think about it. The exit row is proof you can’t even have extra leg room without making a commitment. It’s crazy how many of us only sit there and say yes to assisting others because we don’t expect the plane to crash. Even though planes do crash, we don’t think we will have to make good on our yes. The same when it comes to marrying someone. Most people don’t have a problem with the commitment to better, but they are not at all the same when it comes to the part of the vows that bring up the possibility of the worse. Ha! We have no problem saying we’re all in when it comes to the richer part, but no one really wants to stay married to someone who’s poorer. The things we say yes to when we buy a house or a car, we don’t even know but we sign our lives away. Half of the paperwork we sign, we honestly don’t even have a clue about what we’ve agreed to. Most of us are just so amped up and excited about what we like and want. But that’s not what true commitment is. True commitment is even if the person I’m with doesn’t make me feel like I want them to make me feel, I’m still all in. I heard a quote that said something along the lines – Real commitment is sticking to the vows long after the feelings change.

This is something I want all my coachable friends to consider today – What are you really invested in and committed to and why?

Is there anything that you have truly committed yourself to that doesn’t benefit you? Is there anyone or anything that you give of your time and sincere love to that can’t love you back in the same way necessarily? Do you take care of a garden, a pet, a child, a non profit organization,…..ANYTHING that doesn’t support your ego and help you in some sort of tangible way? Are you committed to anything where you selflessly serve and you don’t have to throw it back up in their face for what you did for them later? Or does everything you commit to have to make you feel like you’re getting something back? If you can’t think of a thing you consistently do for someone else that’s not helping you to get to your next level, today is the day to do some serious inner work.

May I remind you that this life you are blessed to live is all about service. All the handbags, shoes, designer suits, cars, technology, houses, couches and rugs you acquire won’t fit into your grave. They won’t! You will die alone and if you can’t leave here happy with what you’ve left beyond material things, you are in a dangerous place! You ought to be leaving a legacy of service and giving. Generosity ought to be what you’re leaving behind and you can’t do that being self absorbed and egotistical. Hear me clearly – Don’t grow older and stay a child in your mindset. Get rid of the selfish mentality of the culture today where everything is done to show off and impress. There is nothing impressive about being stingy and self centered. The wise wealthy man doesn’t boast of his possessions and accomplishments! Wealth is not important in the grave. What is important when you leave here is how you lived? Who do you bless other than yourself on a regular? It’s a sad individual who feels the need to brag in the presence of those who are struggling through life! What’s that do for your self esteem when you make other people see how much you have? Does it make you feel better to show off when people around you are trying to keep a roof over their heads, lights on and food in their refrigerator? Does it make you feel better? A life lived on purpose is one lived to show generosity and kindness to others. Most attention seekers are getting the negative attention of Heaven. Heaven is observing how braggadocios and proud you are and that’s not a good impression to be making in front of such a great cloud of witnesses.

I hope today’s blog provokes us all to re-evaluate how we handle our success and to consider what our commitment should be to edifying our community versus boosting our already inflated egos. It’s pretty sad that most of the people who brag the most are the most insecure of them all. It’s time to grow up and be better stewards over what we have. There’s nothing like success to show how a person really thinks. Your prosperity will reveal how your heart and mind works. Do an inventory today on your heart and mindset. It’s not too late to get on track for a life that blesses others.

That’s called

phi·lan·thro·py

/fəˈlanTHrəpē/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. the desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed especially by the generous donation of money to good causes.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #exit row #commitment #philanthropy #showoff #generosity #giving #selfish #people #mindset #mentality #blogger #blog

Remember, EVERYONE HAS TO GO!

On our flight yesterday the copilot had to use the potty. Everyone acted sooo surprised when she stepped out of her position to go to the restroom. I was captivated and fascinated by the level of care, attention and seriousness the flight crew took. As soon as the copilot stepped out of the cockpit, one of the flight crew members stepped in and took her place until she returned. While she used the restroom, another member of the team put a partition, almost like a gate up to let passengers know not to come this way. They were literally protecting the copilot while she took care of what she needed to take care of. That’s a word right there.

Truthfully, all of us need people who will cover us like this when we have a human moment. You’ll be ready for Sheppard Pratt if you have to keep holding everything in just because of your title, position, gender, status, role,… the bottom line is EVERYONE HAS TO GO! You can’t be perfect for people all the time. You can’t always be the one doing all the giving, making all the sacrifices, bearing all the weight and burden. You need people that help you out too. You need healthy outlets, genuine people, and safe environments where you can be free! Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to perform anyway? Who did that to you? Who told you that you have to live your life this way?!! Unlearn that! My hope is that you will become so used to living and feeling free that you won’t go back to anything or anyone that makes you hold it in ever again!

The same way the people on my flight were shocked to see the copilot step out of the cockpit to use the restroom is why our culture has placed people in leadership positions on some unreachable pedestal where they are expected to be superhuman. You are not expected to stretch yourself and stretch yourself until you have a breakdown! No! You should not have people around you or a mindset within you that tells you to ignore your needs to please everyone else. You’re not supposed to hold your bladder, or skip meals and never get a chance to get a good nights sleep because people expect you to handle everything! You should not be ignoring your body and your mind to make sure everyone else is emotionally okay. You should not be expected to bypass your physical needs and family’s needs while everyone else on this flight sits back and gets to do whatever they need to do whenever they need to do it. You shouldn’t go broke trying to help people who will watch you suffer and offer nothing but a prayer in your time of need. While I believe prayer changes things, the same people who you helped beyond prayer. The ones you helped with your money and time and counsel, they’ll be the ones to spout out a bunch of one liners and cliches. No! This has got to stop. That’s an unhealthy way to think!

We do this madness even in the family setting. Placing responsible men in positions for them to have ulcers and high blood pressure. Then we tell them they can’t cry. That they need suppress their emotions until it suits our needs. Then all of sudden you want him to cry when he sees you in a dress that cost more than two months mortgage? If he is crying, that’s the real reason!!!! Ha! I believe that if you are privileged enough to find a good man who is caring and wants to cover you and provide for you, you should still be sensitive enough to honor his humanity. He has feelings so don’t be a princess also known as a jerk. In other words, let the man go and feel safe when it comes to his emotional and physical well being. Good men need to be in relationships with respectful, loving women who are committed to taking care of their needs too. They shouldn’t have to feel like they have to walk on egg shells. Being with you shouldn’t feel like they’re in some prison sentence because you want them to be just like your perfect daddy! Newsflash for you; YOUR DAD WASN’T PERFECT EITHER! I don’t care what your mom told you.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people, even some of my real life coachable friends who I counsel who are stressed out and worn out because of the expectations of their toxic family of origin. So many people aren’t able to freely love the people they’re with because they have this jury and judge also known as their family, who are nothing more than a bunch of miserable critics sitting back giving unsolicited advice about every decision and move they make. Tell them to read this blog and highlight this line – MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Shucks! Let people go! Who are you to be analyzing someone else’s affairs anyway? Is your life perfect? Do you have it all together? No! If you went to the gym and ran as much as you run your mouth about people you would be in good shape. That was funny tho!😂😂

My word for my coachable friends today is Let people go! They don’t need people around them if they’re trying to go places that want to keep them masking and bottling up their feelings. They need people around them like the flight crew that covered their copilot when she went to the potty. The bottom line is, we all have to go sometimes. Handle people with the same grace and mercy you want extended to you. Your boss, parents, spouse, leader doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Not even you. And while I’m sure you think you know everything that’s wrong with them, their life is not your business. I’m sure you think you could do their job better than them. In the meantime, do yours to the best of your ability. That’s your power. Not to control other people. Control yourself and for God’s sake please change your mentality and try to help cover the people you’re close to on this flight. Pray for them. Help them. Encourage them. Whoever you feel the need to critique when you see them having a human moment, stop and ask yourself – is this my responsibility? When a person messes up who you think should always cross every t and dot every i; remember EVERYONE HAS TO GO.

The same way you justify your moments of humanity, give them a break too!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #everyonehastogo #copilot #cockpit #bathroom #restroom #blogger #humanity #grace #mentality #mindset #thepotty

Go Somewhere You’ve Never Been Before

I’m always ready to go somewhere. Today, it’s somewhere I’ve never been before. Made me sit to think about all the places I need to go, all the plans I need to take off the shelf and visit. I had to even ask myself what’s stopping me? See, we can find money and time to do whatever we want. Why keep spending your money and time to keep going the same places over and over again dealing with the same aggravation and annoyances? It’s time to travel somewhere new.

It really dawned on me that a lot of the places I go are repeats. You know those places you’ve been over and over. Even down to the conversations we have over and over. How many times are you going to keep going there with draining people? Go somewhere new!! This can even be the harsh reality of the choices and decisions we make and the people we keep revisiting trying to relive some experience or feeling we have already had. Could it be that many of us keep going back to the same places and we are actually looking for something new? Are we afraid to step out and try something different? Are we stuck in a place of playing it safe to the point we keep going back to what’s already been? It’s time to start traveling to new places, in every area of your life! I’m not going to lie to you. You deserve something better!!

Even though you’ve been trying to relive a happy time you’ve had before, don’t you see how irrational it is for you to expect it to be the same? At this point and stage in life haven’t you changed? Even your favorite places you’ve visited, they have to make dramatic changes to stay relevant. No matter how nice it was when you went before they’ve got update the decor and make some improvements to fit with the times. You think it’s normal for you at your age to still be letting your parents talk to you like you’re a kid? This is not how the people going places think. While we honor where we come from, we don’t make monuments or icons of anyone. We have got goals to accomplish and dreams to see come to life.

Don’t rob yourself of what’s out there by holding onto what’s been. It’s virtually possible that you will come across and meet some people who are just as maybe even more delightful and enjoyable! Believe it or not, there are over 7 billion people on this flight and you’re letting a few knuckleheads drive you to drinking? Wake up and go somewhere new. Have some conversations with people who are actually on your level. Go somewhere with people who talk sense as opposed to the current level of nonsense you have to put up with on a regular. Go somewhere with some people who even have new perspectives to share with you. Unfortunately, if you keep going back to the same location you’ve grown accustomed to, you will never discover what else this journey called life has to offer you. There could actually be places you and I have never been that are better than where we’ve been and the only way we will find out is that we go somewhere new! Different is not the devil. New is not the end of your existence! You will still survive outside of the confines of what has always been. It’s time to make up your mind and go somewhere new! Time to take off and see some new sights, eat some different foods, try some new ways of living. I guarantee that you’ll realize it’s ok to honor where you’ve been without staying on a Ferris wheel in your life just so everyone stays comfortable with you. You can really go on and step into new dimensions and not need the approval and validation of anyone. All that really matters is that you’re not living a lie! You owe it to yourself to be all that you can be!!!!

Some people are so conditioned to think the way they think not realizing that’s how you become close minded, stereotypical, prejudice, stuck and set in your ways. If it has to be the same way it’s always been, and if you have to eat the same foods you’ve always eaten and do all the same things you’ve always done and hang around the same kind of people; this message is for you. I dare you to try something new. If you’ve never been to a museum or an art gallery and you’ve made up your mind that this kind of a thing is “not you,” it’s time to change your mentality. Your future husband or wife could be in one of these places you’ve sworn you will never go. If you refuse to go to church, theater, on an airplane, or a sports event, a hike, try it. So what your family didn’t ever do any of those things; isn’t this your life? Some of the things you refuse to try have nothing to do with you. You’ve been programmed to think you don’t like things you’ve never even tried. There’s a famous quote that says “Don’t knock it til you try it!” It’s true. Some of you are allowing your family of origin and their rigid mindset to stop you from living your life without limitations. Don’t let the soundtrack of your racist, sexist, stuck up, narrow minded family members keep you from having friends from different walks of life. Go somewhere new! Try something completely different and be open minded and positive when you do. It’s no use of going anywhere with a bad attitude. I promise it’s nothing like going somewhere you’ve never been and realizing you’ve been missing out on something amazing once you get there.

There are people who said they would never love a person of a different ethnicity who tried it and they’re happier than ever. There are people who stepped outside the box and found their true passion in life and stopped looking for the acceptance of others. Don’t let anyone advise you or counsel you out of experiencing life to the fullest. This life is full of adventure and joy. Please don’t let anything keep you from finding out the many ways this flight can bring you unimaginable joy! Don’t stay in the same place you’ve always been stuck for anyone. Your loyalty to people with no capacity to grow beyond where they are has got to end. If they don’t want to take off and grow or elevate their thinking and be better, wave them goodbye. You’ve got somewhere to go!!!

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #flying #flight #travel #trip #gosomewherenew

Stop trying to prove who you are!

A person who’s going somewhere has to carry their identification, but they don’t have to show it to everyone! #word

The only people who you have to prove your identity to are those who have been authorized to help you get to your next destination. While drinking my cup of coffee this morning, I realized how exhausting and futile it is to keep trying to prove yourself to people who don’t really matter. On this flight called life, many of you are wasting precious time and energy trying to get the affirmation of individuals who can’t get themselves off the ground let alone you. You’re a grown man, grown woman still trying to make people see you. You still have this strong need to be validated by people who have no power to open any doors for you. Even if they did, why are you doing all that to be noticed? Where’s your self respect? Where’s your dignity? I want to ask you this – What would happen if you stopped trying to prove yourself and your importance and started doing what you need to do to get to your next level? It’s a matter of changing your focus. Stop looking for likes, applause, support, pats on the backs,…and just be who you are!! Stop waiting for someone to co-sign for you and say that you’re valuable!

Instead of constantly living your life hoping that pointless people open up their arms and accept you, accept yourself. Instead of praying for arrogant people to see your value and your worth, see your own! I need you to understand that everyone doesn’t need to know where you’re coming from and even after you explain they still won’t care. Instead what would happen if you tried smashing some of your life goals as much as you try to be recognized by “them.”

I think it boils down to you making better use of your time and energy. Who cares what these irrelevant people think about you anyway? Some of you are so worried about people and their opinion of you. You’re scared of hurting people’s feelings, and they go out of their way to hurt yours. When are you going to stop looking for acceptance from the wrong people?? You’re constantly watering down your dreams because you’re obsessed with trying to prove you’re a good person to a bunch of crappy people. It’s time to get over it and go somewhere better than this current place you’re stuck in. It’s not healthy for an adult to keep trying to win their parents approval. It’s not. If you need them to be okay with how you live and what you do, you have placed your parents in the role of God in your life and that’s not cool at all. No one should be so important that you can’t make a decision without making sure they still like you.

The same way it would be irrational for you to walk up to every person you see at the airport and show them your ID, it’s insane to try to explain who you are and where you’re going in life to random people you encounter. Many of you are missing your take off because you’re so consumed with proving yourself to everyone. No one needs to know your every move. We don’t need to know what you ate for breakfast and who you ate it with. We don’t need to see every picture from every event you attend. You don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re loved and you have friends. Put your identification away and be confident with who you are. When you get this solid grip on your identity, you’ll only explain yourself to people who matter on your journey. If they don’t have the authority at this stage in your life to get you to the next level, stop defending yourself.

You’ll thank me later. You’re going to get a lot further when you stop explaining and start soaring. What does it change after you give them an explanation of everything you’re going to do? If the answer is nothing then they aren’t the ones you need to have sanction your next move. It’s not that you shouldn’t be accountable, it’s that you need to get a grasp on who’s worth your accountability. It’s time to take off, but take off is crucial for those who know who they are. Is that you? Do you know who you are? Outside of your job, your talent, your family and friends – who are you?

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #traveling #flight #flying #identification #id #validation #proof #blogger #blog

How many of you are trying to travel with people who make it difficult for you to take off? Read my Independence Day Blog

It’s Independence Day, but how independent are you really? How free are you to take off without baggage, limitation, hesitation, worry, trepidation or fear of man’s approval? It’s funny how we celebrate these holidays with specific themes, yet we ignore the practical application as it relates to our own ascent and acceleration in life. How many people hook up with people that limit their freedom? How many of you are trying to travel with people who make it difficult for you to take off? These people in your life seem to almost always be in a “place” that keeps you from moving forward and then you’ve made their issues your justification as to why you can never go anywhere great in life! It’s my family! My spouse! It’s my friends. It’s my job. I can’t seem get my life off the ground!

Relationships are complicated but isn’t it our choice to connect with people who limit our elevation and take off in life or not? Have you made serious commitments to people who stifle your movement on this flight called life? Why would you do that? Are you dummying down how far you dream of going to make miserable people in your life happy? That’s a sure way to end up bitter and resentful. To have to say one day that you gave up your hopes and dreams for “love” seems like a bad deal? If you asked me it sounds like a major contradiction to what love is. See, if you were really with someone who loved you properly, you’d be free to spread your wings and go somewhere amazing! People who scare you into dreaming small and changing your big plans to little comfortable safe plans they like are loving you to death! Literally! It’s possible to give your life to people who will unapologetically take away your independence to the point of killing your hopes and dreams. You could literally be throwing your future away and actually believe the person who’s convincing you into doing this loves you. The reality is, they only love themselves! It’s selfish! To connect with a dreamer and then after they develop genuine love for you, blackmail them into forgetting their dreams! Forget my dreams to say I have you?!!! Nah! That’s not a good deal at all!

I’m not telling you to break up with your spouse or cut off everyone who’s spoken sound wisdom to you about your plans either. You actually need sober people in your life. People who will tell you from a pure hearted place what you need to hear. Not jealous critical Debbie downers, but people who genuinely are happy for your success. Keep them close. They’re vital to you getting to your destination! What I advise my coachable friends to do today, on this Fourth of July is simple – claim your independence! Claim your independence to soar and take off when it comes to the life you want! Take everything you believe you are equipped to do off the shelf. Especially the plans you gave up on because you let small minded people laugh at your ideas and plans. Claim your confidence in yourself and surround yourself with other people who genuinely love you and want to see you get there. Claim your independence from people who never had the guts to do what you’re about to do. Claim your independence from people who live their lives in fear and suspicion of everything. Claim your independence from the insecure and unsure. Don’t take counsel from people who have mental problems and I’m not trying to be funny at all. I take mental health seriously and take note of those who mock those who are trying their best to heal from emotional and mental trauma. You will have to claim your independence on this journey from the mean spirited and critical voices. Those who want you to be something other than your authentic self, take your need for their approval away from them. Don’t allow them to get in your head. People who label you because they don’t know who they are. I’ve had people call me ratchet, ghetto, too much, stuck up, goodie two shoes, crazy,… WHO CARES! Most of the people trying to label you don’t have their identity in tact themselves. Get your life and ignore the critics. Stop allowing manically depressed family and friends to speak their own issues, anxiety and trauma into your life. Claim your independence of anything and anyone that’s holding you back, even your own negative self talk. Stop blaming everyone in your life for your problems. You have the power to move beyond whatever’s taken place in the past. The past is the past and the future belongs to you! Take off! Go off! Get up! Stop explaining yourself and defending your every move to everyone. Don’t allow the dumb desires of people in your life to keep you from living a free life. Don’t let people guilt you into spending more money than you have on nonsense meant to impress people who still won’t like you. Don’t do it. Say no and move on. They will try to make you feel responsible for funding things that boost their ego and if you’re weak and gullible enough to bow down to them, they will still think you didn’t do enough. The same ungrateful people will be off living their lives while you’re holding the bag and they will go spend their money on whatever they choose. Your credit and finances will be jacked up and they will be somewhere living the fabulous life. Compliments of your cowardice. Nah fam! Help people as much as you can afford to lose. They need to become independent at the end of the day. As much as you want to support them and help them, there is such thing as helping people become losers. You can help people take advantage of your kindness. You can help people become dependent on you for things they need to be taking care of! Claim your independence today! It’s going to change your life when you stop taking responsibility for things that aren’t your problem. I’m excited for you!

Make a solid list of the things you are currently responsible for. Then go through that list and see what’s really yours and what you need to give to it’s rightful owner.

Your life and financial situation is going to change. Mentally and emotionally and spiritually you won’t be drained anymore when you claim your independence. Your life is not theirs. Their life is not yours. Watch! You will begin to see a drastic change when you release those things you have been carrying that really belong to someone else! It’s not your job to manage the emotional well being of another person. If you’re being tormented by someone’s roller coaster mood swings and attitudes, free yourself from that kind of abuse. Yep I said it, it’s abuse and not love. Love is patient. Love is kind,…That’s Bible! Stop taking on the baggage of people who don’t honor who you are. Get free. Today is Independence Day on the calendar but everyday should be.

Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

#therealestlifecoach #goingplaces #travel #takeoff #people #mindset #independence #independenceday #fourthofjuly #fireworks #soar #destination #blog #blogger