As I enter into my 47th year of life, I sit here in this beautiful place with my husband and daughter and tears are just rolling down my face. I’m so stirred. My heart is completely overwhelmed. I made it y’all! This year everything changed. It’s not just another year. It’s like a light switch came on for me. I see my purpose more than ever. I’m not here just for me. I’m here to inspire and help others. I’m here to do more than “me.” I actually want to do something major to help others take off.
It’s amazing to see the growth and the transformation that’s taken place in my life. Who I am is not who I used to be. I’ll never be the same. The once very angry girl who was unable to express herself has learned to say what she means and mean what she says. She’s not afraid of saying no to people and things don’t honor her life. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but she’s not obsessed with giving her attention to nonsense. She doesn’t need to prove any point to anyone. She is no longer afraid of pleasing others at the expense of her peace and sanity. She’s literally learned to be the most authentic she’s ever been. She says what she’s inspired to say and even what concerns her too. All without apology! That took awhile. To speak her mind and not let anyone invalidate her truth. Especially coming from a religious community where people love to brain wash you with their idea of what it means to be Christ like. She’s so over the programming of the cult – ure. She’s free. Like for real free. She’s learned not to let anyone minimize what she’s experienced. She’s still here even after going through the constant shaming that’s normal in the religious cult- ure. Like imagine being rejected and mistreated by people who should have stood up for you and defended you. She survived all that.
Let that sink in. That she and many others like her have had to endure years of mistreatment from people who invalidated her pain, bullied her for being hurt by hurtful things and then went around and mocked and ridiculed her for it. She had to deal with years of emotional abuse from church people and continues to be shunned for calling toxic people out on their crap. But that’s what happens when you refuse to stick with the herd or the pack. Yet, she’s still here and she’s strong enough to still be healing. This year proved it. That’s she is a strong person. Yep. That’s her. She’s still here.
Even while she’s always been blessed to have an amazing support system; loving parents, an incredible husband and remarkable children, not everyone who was supposed to love her has loved her properly and yet she’s still working to be as whole as possible. In the meantime, she’s managed to heal in so many ways and even help and encourage a few people along the way. Insert tears. That means a lot to her.
The lessons she’s learned are more than someone her age could have ever learned without God on her side. She’s lived several lifetimes and thanks be to God she’s still here. Still here to inspire. Still here to encourage, provoke, challenge, cheer, promote and coach others like her. The misunderstood, the wounded and the rejected! She’s still here for those who others try to tell there’s something wrong with them for being different. She’s here as their big sister, friend, and Coach. She’s here to remind them that they’re worth the love. Worth the time and worth someone else pouring into them. She’s still here to remind them that they’re worth being listened to. That they’re not crazy because they’re not like everyone else. She’s still here to say that heaven is rejoicing that they didn’t allow their hard times to make them throw in the towel. She’s still here to say you can’t give up. She’s still here to tell those who’ll listen that Heaven is rejoicing because they didn’t allow the discouragement of others who they expected to be in their life to get them down. She’s here to help the frustrated creatives she’s sees struggling along the way that they can stick it out and see their dreams and plans through even when there doesn’t seem to be a way.
She’s here to say you can do it because that’s what she’s done. She’s still here and she serves as a symbol of strength to the disenfranchised and one’s who feel like they have no family or circle, that no matter what, you can make it. She’s still here to say no matter how complicated things started off, if she could become a loving wife and mom to outstanding children, so can you. If she can still be encouraged to still lead her community with grace, favor and wisdom beyond her years; so can you.
She’s still here to say congratulations, you’re still here. She’s me. I’m the one who wants to let you know your existence is nothing to take lightly. Your life is a big deal. Thank God you’re still here.
Insert tears of joy
Copyright ©️Sherry Grant 2019
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