It’s really okay to speak your mind. I know, you feel like you might not go far on this flight called life if you say the wrong things. You think you may limit your elevation in life if you offend someone important on your way to your desired destination. This is a real issue for many of you because deep down within you want everyone to like you and you don’t want to tick anyone off. Impossible! You don’t want to make anyone that could open a door for you uncomfortable or upset, so you look for validation and approval and you downplay who you are so you won’t ruffle any feathers. Instead of saying how you really feel, you do whatever it takes to go somewhere; even pretend to be someone else in order to get there? Well, isn’t that what you’re doing if you’re constantly toning down who you are to make other people happy? Aren’t you essentially giving up your right to be authentic just so you can go wherever you consider to be a great place?
While being authentically who you are could definitely create some external difficulties for you, even make some enemies and put you into the category of being a difficult or rebellious person; think about what it’s doing to you. It’s eating you up. Honestly, think about how much internal dissonance is going on in your heart and mind every time you fake it just to make it. Hear me out, many of you want to go somewhere great right? Sure that’s already been established by how many times you didn’t speak the truth. Because you want to be successful, rich, and you want everyone to know your name, you suck it up and hold in your feelings. Which by the way is not good for your health; mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Yet somewhere along the way you started believing that because you have these great 5, 10, 20 year plans and you are determined to go far in life, you have resolved that you are obligated to say what people want to hear, even if you strongly disagree. Your ambition has you saying yes when your heart says no. You actually think you’re expected to always say the “right” thing in order to get to your desired destination!
Here is my question of the day for you; What happens when you get “there” and you make a mistake and reveal that you got to your destination being phony? What happens when you get “there” and realize that you’re not happy being what they want you to be, saying what they want you to say, doing what they expect you to do? What happens when you come to the shocking reality that you only arrived to that place of accomplishment and success because you did what they told you to do and because you lied to get there. And what’s even more sobering is the fact that you’ll have to keep lying to stay there? Don’t you know at some point you’re going to get tired of putting on this act and the real mask is going to fall off? You’ll be caught. Everyone will know you’re not so nice even though you pretended to be. It will be obvious to everyone that you’re not really professional, not sincere, not a good person. They will all know you’re a fraud.
Ironically this is what keeps people taking off in life and suddenly crashing and taking off again, and crashing again; over and over and over throughout their entire life. People go from job to job. Pretending to be nice to get there; only to become exhausted and one day say I’m sorry, I got to be me now. People do this in all types of relationships. My advice is this:
Don’t say what you think they want to hear. Say what’s true to you. Don’t act in a way that paints a false picture of who you are. Not unless you’re a great actor and you don’t mind living the rest of your life putting on a show. It’s not going to benefit you or anyone else if you go through life being anyone but who you sincerely are. That fake stuff will eat you alive. It will have you feeling bad. It will effect your mind and you will eventually blow up one day and say what you really feel. No filter at all. Instead, just be real. Be genuine and sincere. This takes boldness and courage. You can’t be a wimp if you want to go somewhere great. You can’t be afraid to upset people. Sure, you don’t want to ruin your reputation everywhere you go. But believe me, there’s an audience and a people who will connect with your message and what resonates true in your heart. Don’t water down who you are for people who will never accept you anyway. Some of you are currently experiencing major rejection because you want to be accepted by a group of people who you aren’t really assigned to. If you have to lie to impress them, they aren’t your people. Look within. Get quiet and become more self aware. Who are you for real? Some of you have been trying to make everyone happy for so long you forgot to think for yourself. You’re this old and everyone thinks for you. Everyone decides what you ought to say and how you should say it. Isn’t it time you invite the real you into the room and this time make no apologies for who doesn’t like you. You have permission to be you! It really is time for you to take off. And this time when you go somewhere great, you won’t have to be fake when you get there and you won’t be worn out from pretending to be something you aren’t along the way.
Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant
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