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The lengths people go to show their love to one another on Valentine’s Day is quite astonishing. From fancy chocolates, red roses, lingerie, diamonds, five star dinners to trips all over the world; it’s clear that people will travel the distance for love. But is where you’re going really love and does the actual destination vary from person to person? What does a loving relationship look like for you and does the person you’re going places with agree with your definition of love?

This got me to wondering how many relationships are really going anywhere beyond the materialistic and the physical? If the person you genuinely love places a demand on you to give them stuff as a means to get close to them, is that the same idea you had about love? Was your idea of love to have to buy them Christian Louboutins, Louis Vuitton and Gucci in order to prove your love or keep them happy? Did you sign an agreement that said you must send chocolates and roses to their office or take them to dinner in Miami at Mr. Chows? Is it written somewhere that you have to sleep with them every night and wear lingerie to love them? Is that considered going the distance in a relationship? How far can you go with someone like that anyway? To me it doesn’t seem like you’ll actually get where you dreamed of with a travel partner who has so many demands on you. Is it that so many today are so shallow and consumed with things and society roles that we don’t even know what love is anymore? Can you really intend to go the distance with that kind of pressure on you forever?

If the amount of money or the gesture has to be so extravagant on Valentine’s Day, I hope you’re prepared to keep this madness up for the entire flight; because whether you want to accept it or not it is going to become an expectation in your relationship.

As your real life coach, I have an honest question for you. Do you seriously think you’ll be able to go as far as you need to go in life with someone who’s so focused on materialistic things, image and public persona? Even when you think about all the potential you have and the places you plan to go in your life, do you even want to be bothered with such a prima donna? You’re gonna be bigger than you are soon, so do you need that kind of headache from a relationship that’s supposed to be loving and supportive? One of the celebrity relationships I love is between Michelle and Barack Obama. This woman shops at Target and is adored all over the world because she’s so down to earth and real. The two of them seem to share sincere love.

Now don’t get me wrong, no one has the perfect relationship, but I believe the more grounded and realistic we can be in our relationships the better. The wealth of a relationship is not found in living like a celebrity pop star and squandering every dime you make to impress anyone. The relationships that are going places are the ones who have nothing to prove. The ones where meaningful conversations, savings accounts and properties purchased in each other’s names are the goals for future destinations. This flight called life is hard enough to have to fly with someone who’s constantly bringing you down with drama and nonsense. If you have to stress and sweat about meeting all of their families expectations of you being their savior, don’t get on that flight. This flight has a lot to do with the destinations we set our eyes on. If you want love, I get it. But some of this crap we get ourselves into is nothing more than a set up for a bad ride. When you look at your relationship today ask yourself this simple question; what’s love got to do with it?

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Copyright ©️ 2019 Sherry Grant

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